May Babies... part 2!

[GeorginaA]

... just because we can't stop yammering on

love reading your stories!

sorry to hear some of your little 'uns are upset after jabs. dreading ours - 28thJuly

well, q a good night last night by egyptland standards. only 3oz bottle at 8pm, slept 8.15!! woke, 11, 2, 5, 8.30 - latest lie in ever!

cool

thanks for the instructions cat and dh - am in the process........may be sometime! x

libb, we are in leics now for dh's work. which village did u grow up in? i love nch. but it was pretty dire and boring when in my teens. is a trendy place to be now though!

We had a strange night last night.
Yesterday afternoon DD decided to be grouchy and cried all the way home from the park and through the evening. She would sleep for 10 mins and then cry again. I was at this point close to tears as dp had been away for 3 days with work and phoned up to say hed be late home last night. I was fed up of not being able to put dd down to do anything. I hadnt eaten dinner for 2 days or showered and had a thumping headache. I also let DD cry for 4 minutes while I went to the loo and she cried so much she was sick everywhere. I tried the sling but she cried even more. Eventually mil came down and rescued me for a bit. Then I fed dd at 7.30 and we cuddled on the settee watching holby she fell asleep at 9pm so we both went to bed, I expecting to be woken at 10.30 for a feed but she didnt wake until 2.30am, thats 7hours!!!! then 5.30. However she had now decided that 6am is her new wake up time whereby she stays awake for 30 mins, gets you out of bed and downstairs and then promtly falls asleep again.
Why do I feel that i'm not cut out for motherhood. Some days I even think about going back to work early just so I dont have to be with her all day. I dont think I have PND and I love DD to bits I just never realised how demanding it would be or how much dd cries. She only ever seems to be awake and happy twice in the whole day, the rest of the time is spent crying, grizzling, feeding or sleeping on me. Am I the only one to have a baby who cries at everything.
Sorry to depress you all. I enjoyed everyones how we met stories. How about the best place you went on holiday and why? and what you love best about your baby
Heres mine.
Las Vegas in 2001. I didnt want to go as I had never fancied the idea. But Wow!! what a place it was fantastic every hotel was amazing. My best bit though that I will remember forever is.. At one hotel they have a lake which every 15 mins plays music and has fountains that dance in time. We discovered it on our last night and stood there for one hour watching them. It was really hot and dark and the spray from the fountains was gently blowing on to us and there were fairy lights in the trees. It was so nice and the music was lovely. Whenever I hear some of those songs it instantly takes me back there.
the thing i love most about dd is when she laughs she turns her head to the side and looks at you out of the corner of her eye as if shes flirting with you. Also when i get up at night to feed her and i put her back down she sometimes looks up and gives a cheeky little smile. It melts my heart everytime.

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spots,
hope you dont mind but as you also have a upd baby would you mind if i asked a few questions?

Does DD go down ok at night
Does she like the sling
how are you spending your days. I just seem to be stuck to the setee.

oh kbaby. you poor thing. can you get anyone to come over and give you a break? once she is fed, they can maybe take her out in the pram and give you some time to yourself to sleep/eat/have a bath etc. it's not much good them having her in the house, as you just hear her and it will stress you out (well it does me). and you're not to think that you are doing anything wrong at all. all babies are different. somedays mine is a pain, somedays not. but you have to keep in your mind that it will get better...and better. has she colic, you said she was terrible last evening? try the infacol, even if its not that, it wont hurt her.
does she sleep in the car? can someone take her for a drive in the late afternoon/early evening just so she's not overtired when it comes to bedtime? i know its not a cure, but i tend to try and make dd sleep around 5pm just so she isnt so tired later. evenings are awful anyway.

dh can never get dd to sleep in the sling, but i can. when he 'inspected' me he realised that he wasnt putting her in tight enough right up to his chest. it looks like she can barely breathe! and she does cry, i just have to walk and walk and walk and eventually she goes off. up the road and back usually does it. round the house is not so effective. i think its the continuous rhythm of a long walk.

do you have a bouncer chair with battery powered bounce? the baby whisperer hates them, so i avoided it and dd didnt like it anyway, but just the last couple of days she has settled in it, chatting to the bears on the arch. maybe this will work.

i dont really know what to say to help you more, other than its so important that you eat and sleep or things will feel 100 times worse. please get someone to help you. i want to come and visit you myself! if you were closer i would. wales isn't it?

Hey I just added a big message but it didn't get on... what's happening?

must be my fault, that worked! kbaby, will get back when baby down! xxx

Thanks for the info twiglett and spots. well, I took dd2 to get weighed today, 11lbs 9oz now. I asked the HV about the dtp and she said that they give dtpw and that dtpa is for the 3-5 year booster, which I already knew. then I held everybody else who was waiting up as HV went to get me some info to read about the mercury content. then she went to check how much dtpa and seperate hib they had in the fridge and told me that there was 3 lots of it which is what we would need. She didn't say no but at the same time she didn't say yes she said we'd have to talk to the dr next week when we go in for the screening, but the fact that she went and checked to see what they had in stock seems a good sign. She had said that she didn't know if they would have enough seperate hib, before checking, and I asked if they could order any in but she said that they would want to know why they were ordering it, I take it she meant the health authority. She also mentioned that they are advised to give DTwP and if we refuse it they can refuse to vaccinate which I think is a silly rule. But like I said the fact that she went to check what they had in stock was reassuring in the fact that she seems to think that we might get the DTaP. How do I go about finding out if there is a private clinic in my area just in case?

Kbaby, sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time. I can remember dd1 doing exactly the same thing once when she was a baby, cried all evening and dh was working and it got to the stage where I didn't know if I was coming or going. Nothing I did seemed to soothe her and I didn't get to eat dinner and I was just a mess. Eventually my friend came round and she rescued me, it's so good to be able to have someone to rescue you. So it's not just you or your baby I think they can all go through stages like this especially in the evenings. Like Egypt said is there anyone who could take her out in the pram for a little while or out in a car to get her to sleep for a bit? I agree it's not a cure but it gives you a little while to get yourself together and feel a lot more human. Try to look at last night as a blip and think about how the rest of the week is going to be so much better.

My best holiday had to be when we all went to Canada and dh and I got married. We had decided to go there on holiday anyway but then after checking out how to go about getting married abroad decided to go ahead and do that as well. We booked it all over the internet and didn't tell anyone until the week before we went away. Anyway it was a great holiday loved every minute of it and dd1 keeps asking when we can go back. We have fantastic memories and wonderful photo's and I can't wait to go back one day with dd2.

I love it when dd2 wakes up and I go to get her out of the moses basket and she gets all excited waving her arms and legs and giving me big smiles. And I love it when she does her funny little smiles and laughs when she's having a nap, wonder what she's dreaming about.

Oh and Hv said that they usually find their thumbs round about 12 weeks, so not long to go now until she finds it. Managed to get both dd's in bed and asleep by 9pm tonight. Bedtime seems so much calmer when dh isn't here to wind up dd1.

Oh and I meant to ask what is the procedure if we have DTaP and seperate hib? Hv said something about getting the DTaP, hib and polio then having to go back for the MenC. How does that work if they are supposed to get the vaccines every 4 weeks, how long do we leave in between jabs? Can anyone give me an idea?
Thanks

Linnet - our surgery is spacing the jabs fortnightly. So last week ds2 got MenC and Hib, next week he's going to get DTaP and polio, two weeks after that he's getting MenC and Hib again, etc...

Having an ick day today. Had the Mirena inserted this afternoon and having horrendous period pains. I so hope it settles down again soon - looking forward to very light/non-existant periods very soon!!

morning all. dd is cooing on my bed at the moment. she is great in the mornings, so happy, smiley and calm. but she was a little b*er in the night. she went to bed at 8pm, didnt get to sleep until 8.20 but was not crying, bless her. gave her a dream feed at 11pm as i was getting to bed and she was just stirring. then she woke at 2am as scheduled, then blinking 4.00. fed her at 4.30, then woke at 6 and stayed awake until7.30 when dh got up. i am so tired, especially as i stayed up last night to watch little angels and supernanny. omg, please dont let me have a household of kids like that. what a nightmare.

just a question for you..do you wait for baby to cry in the night before feeding, because i just wait until she is awake and making her creaky noises with her throat. i dont want to let her cry. but if she was in her own room, surely she would have to, because although i have the monitor i don't suppose i would wake until she did....then does that mean that she's woken herself up too much to go back to sleep? silly question maybe, and if they are at the stage where they know night is night, which i think she just about is (sometimes) would she just go back to sleep after a feed anyway........ramble

how are you today kbaby?

Egypt I like that, creaky noises ! That's when I go to her as well; I suppose it depends how sensitive your baby monitor is/ how near dd's room is to yours when she makes her break for independance... I agree, to leave her till she's loudlt crying would seem to be counter productive if she's woken up more by her own distress.

KBABY! I am so annoyed with myself, did a full reply yesterday and somehow dumped it. Shall try again. Reall y feel for you, of course crying is the main thing that will make you feel crappy and how can you really know how you're getting on if you have to deal with crying all the time? Take away the crying and I'm sure you'll find you and dd are doing just grand. Unputdownableness is just something to negotiate but don't let it worry you too much: you CAN work with it if you don't take it as a sign of your baby being abnormal or contrary.
My dd is still quite UPD'able but getting a tiny bit better: yesterday as I wrote my essay she was in her bouncy chair getting on with her 'research' (her activity gym: she looks so serious and intent when doing it I really laugh) in the kitchen all by herself. This is typical. I think they're only UPD'able as long as they have nothing else to distract them and make them enjoy the world. At first they can only enjoy YOU! Little by little you won't be the most exciting thing any more and things that they can hold or watch or chew are an avenue OUT OF THE BABY CARRIER.

We have three slings now, all for different purposes, which tells you how much DD and I ely on it. The baby bjorn is her favourite because she gets the best viiew,, but as she gets heavier I find it hard on my shoulders. I prefer the Wilkinet which can be worn on the back so yo u can get on with more stuff with DD in tow. Hammock slings are good if she falls asleep in your arms and you don't want to disturb her too much, but I find them hard going and always worried she'll tip out with my swinging movements...

She does sleep quite well in her pram at night and I don't know why she handles this so much better. Her sleep pattern is very varied. Last night was amazing breakthrough: she woke at 2.30 and 6.30 only which is good for us! but she had had a v. unsettled evening. Lots and lots of crying and mammoth feeds (I find these the most trying as my nipples get sore; also I try and do the last feed in semi darkness so if it goes on for an hour I get so damn' bored).

During the day the UPD works quite well for us. Because she desn't have a regular lie-down nap we can be out and about without needing to get home at all. So that's exactly what we do. Yesterday we went into Edinburgh just because we could, and I bought a skirt in Karen Millen which of course I could not try on because I had a bloody great baby strapped to my front. I find DD really likes to meet up with my friends for a cup of coffee or a spot of lunch so I am duty bound to do this as much as possible. Seriously, she does seem much more relaxed. I would really recommend this course of action in addition to the other people taking her out in pram tactic. It's that whole portable breastfeeding thing. Do you feel OK feeding her in public?

Sorry, it's an essay again... but I really know that it can be a difficulty; I have to tell myself to chill out quite often. I have some great chilled out role models who put me to shame amongst my friends.

My favourite holidays were probably all those giggly teenage ones when it doesn't matter where you go (a static van in Ayrshire rates quite highly) you're just enjoying being away and with your mates. I'm not a big traveller (scared of flying! ) so reckon I still have some serious big holidays to enjoy before I die (on beta blockers probably).

And my favourite thing about dd at the moment is her little hands just starting to creep into the picture, uncurling and inching into my armpit as she feeds.

(tho' smiles are hard to beat too)

look after yourself xxx

kbaby, know exactly how it feels - please find someone to hold little one for half an hour or so whilst you have a adult/human moment - it goes a long way. I found chatting to the health visitor helped a lot when I felt blue the other week, they are meant to support you so take all the advantage you can.

It will get easier I promise - and you have nothing but our full support here too. I think I would've gone insane without you guys! Even DP has started asking what the opinion of the collective is whenever something puzzles us! Take care of yourselves, all of you!

Have to go, my particular darling is kicking off big time! xxx

picked him up - one handed typing, has chilled and is now completely still - the monkey . . .

Thank you everyone for your messages. My mumcame down and I had a good cry and she told me everything I was doing is fine.DP's away again tonight so were going over my mums for tea. DP's mother had dd yesterday afternoon. They went to the park in the pram and I went to bed for 3 hours. She has offered to help loads as my mum works full time but I always feel funny asking. I feel that I should be able to cope on my own. I do find that being out of the house works and I try and do something most days. I can cope with her crying when im with other people as it stops me getting so uptight. The thing is when shes happy she is the most adorable baby and she will happily lie under her gym playing on her own. Its just that this only happens about twice a day. The rest of the day shes so tired that she just isnt very happy and cries at the slightest thing. Maybe what I should do first is try and get her to take longer deeper sleeps. Even if this means going for a 2hour walk in the pram. Maybe once she sleeps better shell become happier.
We're trying GF today, although not quite going to plan. So far she woke at 7 and fed and then stayed up for 2 hours playing, went to bed for 30 mins and then woke crying. It was then time for another feed and then she was supposed to be awake for 1 hour but she was so tired she couldnt stay awake and is now sleeping again.
Last night she went down at 8pm and woke at 9 I then fed her and she went back down at 10pm she then slept until 1.30 but from there on was really restless. She was thumping the mattress with her legs and groaning, turning her head and swinging her arms about. She was like that until 4.30 when I fed her again to try and settle her. Its really strange its as if shes awake but yet has her eyes closed. This means that I was awake from 1.30-4.30. DP reckons I should video her and show the health visitor as she shouldnt be so restless. I dont know.. Im going to try a bottle of expressed milk tonight to see if she takes more which may settle her better.

Ill have to stick the phrase ' this is a phase which will soon pass' to my fridge and look at it every day.

does swaddling help kbaby? i know they say dont, but i do. i have a cotton blanket and she cant get out of it. i can see a bit of a difference since she has been swaddled. like you say, the thrashing about is awful. she was like this from 4.30 this morning but when i could be bothered to get up and look over at her, she had unravelled herself. not a tight enough swaddle - but did another and she was ok til 6am..the rest of the morning isnt worth mentioning!

off to clinic now. last week 11lb 2 1/2oz, my bet is.........11.8oz

Egypt, I forgot to mention the village I grew up in was Ludham - 5 odd miles from Wroxham, and the infamous Roys!

We're now off out for our daily waltz into town, very exciting indeed.

Kbaby, glad you got a break - ruddy hard work if you don't know what it is they are trying to tell you isn't it? DP and I have had rare experience of babies so it can be doubly hard! including poor little DS . . . apparently we are doing the right thing too but it seems hard to imagine at times!

oo yes! i know Ludham

Kbaby - have received a book I bought from Amazon today. Think it will help you - called 'The happiest baby' by Dr Harvey Karp

...got to go, dd is creaking.....

does the creaking sound like "eeeh . . . eeeh . . . EEEH!" like a "you igonore me and I will make the neighbours think they need to call social services?". I am lucky because neighbour's baby is just 8 weeks older, so she knows better - I sincerely hope!

Dd gets up for a feed around about 4am. I usually hear her creaking as you are all calling it so I lie there and I wait and then when she starts to get a bit more vocal I get her up. I only wait because quite often she murmers to herself then goes back to sleep. anyway I get her up give her the bottle, wind her, then put her straight back in her moses basket and she goes to sleep. Sometimes she wriggles around and has a little chat to herself but then goes to sleep. DD2 is still in our room so I don't have to far to go get her. Won't have that far to go when she's in her own room either since it's not a big house. I'm hoping that by the time she goes into her own room she'll be sleeping right through the night and not need a feed.

Kbaby, my dd has an unsettled time every night around about 1-2am. She wriggles around, bangs her hands off the side of the moses basket, murmurs to herself and draws her knees up. But she never ever wakes during this time. then she settles down again and sleeps until her feed at 4am. I've never thought anything of it.

Spent all afternoon out at the park today. dd and dh took their bikes and we had a great day. I don't have a bike and dh got his while I was pregnant so today was the first time I'd been able to have a go on it and boy is it a good bike. I haven't been on a bike for years and it was great fun, have to get one of my own now.

Does anyone else's baby feed for an HOUR before bed? Presume she's stocking up... but....ow!

I've just been reading the information from the Scottish Executive Health department that the HV gave me yesterday.

It states and I quote..."Health Proffesionals may wish to draw from the information in this letter, and the references it provides, in discussing immunisation with parents, recognising that a final decision about immunisation of a child requires the informed consent of a parent or guardian and that it is open to parents to request, and doctors to provide, an alternative vaccine which is licensed in the UK and available through the NHS."

This to me says that I can ask for dtap and they have to give it to me and I have it in writing from the HV, well in writing on the information sheet that she gave me.

definitely sounds like you are entitled linnet....now then..i have completely missed what you are talking about re: vaccinations. I think I should ask, as if I don't I may be giving dd something she shouldnt have. Tell me what you are on about please? Sorry to be so dense.

No spots, dd feeds only for 10 mins before bed, and that 3-6oz of formula, depending on her mood. bless her heart. we've been using a 0+ Avent teat. It never seemed too slow for her as milk was dribbling out of her mouth like the falls. But yesterday bought a tommy tippee variable flow. the harder they suck the more they get. she started off on it fine...... then after 10 minutes i was convinced she wasnt drinking ANYTHING. took the bottle out and she had drank 1/2 and oz. bless her! she never complained. dh had to quickly sterilise the avent one again. when i checked the packet, i had bought a 3+ month teat. ahhhhhh, poor baby.

dd has an awake time around 5-6am. LIKE THIS MORNING. Woke at 4.50, fed. would not go back to sleep, and her little noises were getting on my nerves an hour later, so put her moses basket in her own room....boy she did NOT like that. brought her back and she eventually went off, after re-swaddling her VERY tightly. Think this is the key. everytime she gets fidgety i notice she has managed to get her arm/s out. put them back in and she is ok.