how do I stop my children from hitting each other?

[CadburyCremeSquonk]

And before you all pile in and answer that I should stop hitting them, I don't.

DD1 (13) will hit her brother and sister if she is unhappy with them, so they have learnt that this is the right way to go about things. So, they all hit each other and it is bedlam in my house with all the screaming, hitting, kicking and shouting. I am not sure how much longer I can take it without going mad.

I suspect that if I could get the teenager to stop it, the others would follow suit, but how?

I have never hit them and don't intend to start now (although it is very tempting)

any advice gratefully received. Am off to cook tea, but will check in later

tia

They are currently all being little angels drawing pictures and being really lovey-dovey. So it's not all the time. (thank god!)

Aw, that's nice! Mine are busily winding wool round cardboard rings as we're attempting to make pom-pom chicks. Amazingly they are doing it nicely and not fighting. Hooray!

that was nearly an hour ago. Have had two fights between then and now.

Now, though, the dds are in the bath and ds is asleep

peace

This is a bit of a far out idea but have you tried putting classical music on in the backgroud to create a calming atmosphere? my dd1 (7) put it on today and the kids (ages 1,2 and 7) all played like angels for a good couple of hours.

what a fantastic idea.

Too late for tonight now, but I will definitely try it tomorrow.

CArikey... at this age (OP) I would just think of some consistent penalty that isn't used for anything else, and apply it. "Anyone caught hitting has to --

• scrub the toilet for 1 minute"
• forfeit 50p from their pocket money"
• help me cook tea that night or next night if after tea time"

or whatever.

You have to see / hear the hit/kick to apply the penalty... they'll still do it when you're not looking, but it should still cut down on incidents. Give you an excuse to spy on them and catch them out.

That's a good idea, but not sure of a penalty that will suit the teenager and both the little ones as well.

Have tried the naughty corner, but 13yo just giggles

I dont think they should all have the same punishment - thier ages are too different to really make it work.

The eldest child should definately have the harsher punishment as they youngesr children have been taught to hit because of her and also she should know better and control herself and she shouldn't hit children that young either.

The younger children should be told a firm no and removed from the situation until they leanr not to do it but the only way they will learn not to hit if if the 13yr old stops doing it otherwise its going to be a catch 22 imo.

Classical music works really well if they are

a. small enough not to be able to escape, or
b. they like it.

My DD would listen to Mozart by choice and my littlest would enjoy it and probably calm down, my eldest would just go to his room and put DH's Ramones CD on and emerge an hour later totally wired .

er, so are you telling me it DOESN'T IMPROVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????

FFS

Mine fight all the time - aged 4 and 2

and I had a hope that in the not so distant future we would be like the Waltons

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I do penalties (ie no Chocolate Buttons) which kind of works but mainly doesn't as how can you reason with a 2 year old?

May work with teenagers though?

Make it a bigger and different and worse penalty for the 13yo. Explain this at the outset. Her hits hurt more and she should know better (be clever enough to resolve the conflicts without resorting to violence) most of all.