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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

how do I stop my children from hitting each other?

36 replies

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:25

And before you all pile in and answer that I should stop hitting them, I don't.

DD1 (13) will hit her brother and sister if she is unhappy with them, so they have learnt that this is the right way to go about things. So, they all hit each other and it is bedlam in my house with all the screaming, hitting, kicking and shouting. I am not sure how much longer I can take it without going mad.

I suspect that if I could get the teenager to stop it, the others would follow suit, but how?

I have never hit them and don't intend to start now (although it is very tempting)

any advice gratefully received. Am off to cook tea, but will check in later

tia

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AnAngelWithin · 03/04/2007 16:30

tie them to chairs at opposite ends of the house

AnAngelWithin · 03/04/2007 16:30

sorry that was no help at all

how old are they all?

McCadburysDreamyegg · 03/04/2007 16:31

Give one away?

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LoveMyGirls · 03/04/2007 16:32

Whoever doesnt hit for a month gets fiver?

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:34

I am liking the answers so far.... unfortunately, can't get anyone to take them - have tried freecycle and they don't accept livestock so can't advertise the kids!

They are:

13,
2
1

And yes, I know the big one is too big to be beating up two toddlers, but try telling her that! It's not even as if I can't leave them in a room together, as all I have to do is blink and I miss the hitting.

OP posts:

custy · 03/04/2007 16:34

squonk you know whats important to them - take it away for a week.

for instance i could take away my daughters straighteners she is 14 - this would devestate and crush her tiny self absorbed world

Hilllary · 03/04/2007 16:34

Tell them "if you do it again I'l put you in a orphanage"

TrinityRhino · 03/04/2007 16:35

when you find a way let me know
my 6 yr old and 2 yr old are always at it

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:35

Have tried everything that I can think of - removing treats, pasta jars, no tv, nothing seems to work. The more I think about it, the more I am liking the giving them away option! (at least until the easter hols are over)

OP posts:

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:36

least it's not just mine, tr!

OP posts:

PestoEasterMonster · 03/04/2007 16:36

Maybe you could try stopping the hitter from having something she/he likes. Eg take away television time or computer time. Having said this, this is what I try and do and it doesn't always work. Sorry, maybe not too helpful after all

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:37

s'ok, pesto - all advice gratefully received

OP posts:

ScottishThistle · 03/04/2007 16:37

Agree with Custy, what would your eldest hate to have to live without???

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:38

She would hate to live without tv, but if I ban her from watching it, she would just get bored and hit them out of badness iykwim

OP posts:

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:38

I honestly believe that the sound of toddlers crying is music to her ears!

OP posts:

AnAngelWithin · 03/04/2007 16:39

omg the younger ones are a hell of a lot younger then. Sounds like she has serious hormones going on?

has she always been like this? or is it a recent thing? does she hit out at anyone else or just the LOs?

LoveMyGirls · 03/04/2007 16:40

oh i thought they were all older. If this is the case i would come down like a ton of bricks on the eldest as its her influence the younger two are copying.

I would take away anything she holds dear as custy says you know what would hit her hard if she lost it. Keep taking until she realises she's not getting her stuff back until she is nice to her siblings.

I would also have a deep talk with her as i think there is likely be an enormous amount of jelousy to hit out at children as young as this, she is plenty old enough to know this is not the way to treat very young children.

Maybe you could reward her for not hitting with your time, say ice skating or a girlie night in.

ScottishThistle · 03/04/2007 16:40

When I was 13 I'd have done anything for my Mum not to take away my stereo, how times & kids change!

PestoEasterMonster · 03/04/2007 16:41

Oh, another idea is to make the hitter have to 'help' doing stuff around the house. This means you can allocate them a task that you might not fancy/have time to do and it will also keep 'em busy and out of the way of the other(s). Also, might give them some thinking time whilst doing the chore..

Good eh?

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:41

Rewards for not hitting - that's a good idea, will try that one....

OP posts:

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 16:42

am off to make tea.... thanks for everyone's input. Will let you know how it turns out

OP posts:

Lucycat · 03/04/2007 16:43

Could you try and get her 'on side', tell her that what a grown up would do if someone really annoyed them would be to walk away, take a deep breath etc ....

then again whadda I know my 2 aren't teenagers yet....sounds really tough.

admylin · 03/04/2007 16:45

My 2dc aged 7 and 8 go through fighting phases, at the moment they are in a more shouting phase. The only thing that seems to get through to them is when I ask them how they would like it if mummy and daddy shouted/hit each other like that and that it isn't acceptable. That makes them think, also removing their nintendo ds for a few days, but it doesn't cure them of it, they slip back into their old ways after a while and I can only hope as they get older they will learn more respect.

Original poster

CadburyCremeSquonk · 03/04/2007 17:16

I'm liking both of those, thank you.... will give them a try.

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 03/04/2007 17:32

Wait a few years.

Sorry but I don't have any answers. Mine beat big lumps out of each other and then milliseconds later are playing like the very bestest best mates.....

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