What do you believe causes fussy eating in young children?

[bumbleweed]

Am interested, because I have a 17 month old dd who doesnt eat alot. I weaned her mainly on finger foods because she refused to be spoon fed. I also weaned at 26 weeks and quite gradually.

My friend's theory is that if babies are not exposed to full range of family foods that will become part of their diet at early age (eg before age 1) then a window of opportunity is missed and they become nervous of all unfamiliar foods.

But this doesnt explain children who are really good eaters when babies but become really picky toddlers and children.

So my question is a nature or nurture one I guess?

GL - remember the op?

Op? I haven't had an op! Apart from the lobotomy, that is.

my DS1 has always been picky - he was given everything that we eat as a baby and yet he refused to eat most of it. He is still given what we eat and is still picky so doesn't eat a lot of it. DS2 used to eat anything until DS1 learned to say - "Erghh, that's horrible, I don't like it/you don't like that xxx" If his brother won't eat it - neither will he - grr...

I am hoping if I don't force the issue they'll gradually eat more as they get older.

I was made to eat my food as a child - I didn't like any of it but was made to finish. As an adult I am incredibly picky.
DH was not made to eat as a child, if he didn't like it he was allowed to leave it but then didn't get treats afterwards. As an adult he is a human dustbin and he loves his veggies!

Haven't read thread but IME children don't eat till they're 4. ( bar the odd yoghurt)

just realised something: I was horribly picky as child. Now I eat anything| (except tripe. That's not a food option in my book)

Ds2 (the older one) is slowly getting better (and hungrier! FYI, he once lasted 4 days refusing to eat anything other than plain brown bread. I caved in way before he did...) Amrmadillo - and others suffering, it will get easier, just don't give up or lose your cool.

Anyone with an only child under 2 shoud not be able to add an opinion on this thread, in my opinion !!

You just wait....!

AGree with fmv re only children under 2! I have 3 under 11, that makes me an expert!

terramum sets out the research I was thinking of too.
Mychildren are older but if they complain there is "no food in the house" by which they mean they want something like chocolate I saw there's rice, potatoes etc so they're wrong and then I give the David Blaine example - how long did he survive without eating?

But I think the main thing is not to fuss. If a few of mine don't like cheese that's fine so they don't get cheese and there are arguments about dairy products pro and con anyway so we can easily just not bother with cheese for them. What has surprised me over the years is if I keep eating various things eventually a child will often want to try it anyway.

Agree with Xenia, children are great copycats. At the moment, ds3 thinks that the best place to get food is off dh's plate, even if the exact same dinner is on his own plate. I don't care where he gets it from so long as he eats something!

in my two eldest children,they copied my relationship to food.i seriously didnt realise until it was too late as to me,im normal!so with 3rd ive been extra careful.

After six years of parenting I have come to the conclusion that (a) eating issues are frequently intractable (b) children are excuse my language little buggers.

Am about to offer my fellow inmates of the Inferiority Complex a rather nice fish pie, with puff pastry top and all. I am waiting glumly for at least one little bugger to push it about in repulsed manner. My one hope is that they'll do that thing of one liking it and the other not.

They both eat voraciously and indiscriminately in any kind of institutional setting, which at least reassures me that they'll be fine if they ever end up in prison.

My daughter gets what we eat. She has to have one bite of everything. I don't force her to eat more than that, but I won't make her anything else either.

Have read thia with huge interest. As a baby, I was very chubby and loved my grub - used to scream if they didn't shovel it in quickly enough. At about 18 months, I had a really nasty stomach bug, lost loads of weight, took ages to recover. After that, I was (apparently!) a nightmare re: food. Literally, I ended up eating breakfast cereal, bread, cheese and salad cream!!! (Erm, not together, you understand). Why did my parents let that happen? - They tried everything, not making a fuss (I would eat nothing for days on end, quite happily), bringing out the same meal time after time - didn't bother me - force feeding - the lot. Can remember being force fed prunes and custard, would have been about 4. They found it all incredibly upsetting; I was just bewildered - I didn't recognise what 'hungry' felt like. I can remember cowering in the lounge feeling really stressed because my mum was cooking something new to 'tempt' me with, and I knew that if I didn't like it, she'd be really upset. Going home with friends for tea was a nightmare, and people used to say quite nasty things to my poor mum. A huge thing for me was the texture of food. Over time I've improved enormously (and am certainly no longer like a stick insect ) mainly thanks to my now DH, who has been a fantastic and encouraging influence over the years.
Sorry, I've waffled. It does just irk me that some people consider that it's sort of 'lazy' to 'let' your DC be picky.

I can only answer for my close friends and family and I would agree with your friends theory. The fussy eaters in my family tend to be the children that have not been exposed to a wide range of foods either because they have always been fed foods that are specifically marketed for children e.g. baby jars followed on by spaghetti hoops and fish fingers etc or they either have fussy parents. When it was ds's birthday party my sil had a look of utter disgust when her dh asked what the tortilla chicken wraps were and she replied "it is foreign muck and my kids won't eat it!" Needless to say they didn't but all the other children did.

As I say I am only talking from experience of my own family. Ds will eat anything put in front of him but mil insists I am just lucky and is desperate to prove me wrong if I have another child.

I was the first baby. My mother bought rump steak and ground it down for me as a toddler. She always cut the crusts off my bread. She gave us each different meals if that's what we would only etc etc - this is in the 1960s - I don't think parents really ever change. Perhaps a difference here is I work full time so my children are given food by others so the connection between mother food and child power just hasn't arisen in the same way. It's interesting to see 5 year olds eating a hot school lunch - many eat what they won't eat at home. If they don't eat it they don't get any more food until they get home after 4 so they tend to eat it up (packed lunches banned at their school).

Selfishmoo, I was very interested in your post. I was ill as a baby - lost a lot of weight and was hospitalised. I never really developed an interest in food. I was hospitalised again at 6 as I was so thin - I remember the nurse weighing me three times as she thought there must be a problem with the scales!! Even now as an adult, food is something I can take or leave - I find lunch a particular nuisance and would really rather not bother but if I don't eat frequently enough I lose weight again!

So I wonder if some children's food difficulties are simply inherent? I find eating quite boring and unfortunately my ds1 seems to be similar although ds2 loves his food and eats with gusto. I'm always amazed when I see people really relishing their food - I just don't feel like that. Maybe some children feel the same?

Peer pressure does work. When my ds1 was little he was incredibly fussy and would eat virtually nothing at home. When he went to creche, he would eat everything put front of him. One of the minders told us that one mother refused to believe that her ds was eating everything he was given. So they let her in one day and kept her out of view while her ds wolfed his food down! She was gobsmacked!

• Having posted earlier about my own issues with food as a child, I should have made it clear that I've always been extremely careful re: my DC and food. DD as a baby would eat absolutely anything, but became far more picky as a toddler - not great with veg, but loves fruit so I'm ok with that - she has her '5-a-day.' The things that she doesn't eat at home, she won't eat at nursery. And the 'get them involved in the preparation' thing does not work with her at all!!! DS was until relatively recently a veritable foodbucket, but even he has just started to be a little more fussy - carefully went through some couscous (with mixed veg and cubes of feta in it) yesterday to remove the least hint of broccoli. They were both weaned onto homecooked food, wide range there-of, but I really don't feel that that guarantees anything (sorry!). I think that children just vary hugely, and apart from sensible guidelines (offer a range of healthy stuff, stay relaxed, don't keep crap in the house because then they can't eat it) it's difficult to generalise. And I wholeheartedly agree with whoever it was that said that one can't really know about this until your DC are over 2! - No offence to others

fussy parents that are too easy to give in

varies, I do think over fussy parents / carers can make a big difference. However there are some forms of behaviuoral issues or developmental paths, personality types which can have an effect on eating patterns.

DS has some developmental issues and one of his challanges seems to be an inability to shut out stimulus. So he finds it hard to eat if there are other things going on around him. He eats best at nursery because the only other thing happening is other children eating. Also I think the fact that he doesn't have to stand and wait while I cook helps. At home even if I have preprepared food there is a window of time where he is in the kitchen with me, he knows food is about to happen and as he isn't capable of understanding 'time' he gets frustrated and cross because the food isn't there NOW.
At nursery the food just appears, so the first time he thinks about it it is already for him to eat.

oh and btw to those who think its totally down to parents being fussy/ caving in or not exposing their kids to a range of foods.
We both cook - well, we eat a great variety of food, have a permenantly stocked fruit bowl and veg rack.

We cook and eat foods from around the world and DS has had bits of everything we eat (with the chillies toned down).

As a baby he was much easier, he would happily eat mild curries, spag bol, liver casserole, etc etc.

The other issue we've had is that he has been horrendously ill from undiagnosed lactose intolerance, and quite frankly if I threw up every day and had constant runny bum going on I'd get a bit wary of food!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it isn't always the parents 'fault'. I've given extreme examples as DS has got issues going on developmentlaly and health wise. But for some people and some kids food just isn't as interesting as other activities! Also there was an interesting piece of research in child of our time about taste buds, alot of children are strong tasters - which means they find lots of tastes to be overpowering. Some fussy eaters aren't actually fussy they honestly don't like those tastes. Alternativly some kids are the opposite and so refuse alto of baby food cos its too bland!

PMSL at MI.

Children go through a developmental stage at some toddlerish point when they become suspicious of food - apparently to do with not eating poisonous berries when we were hunter gatherers or some such. It is said to be the reason that older toddlers will suddenly refuse vegetables even though they've been eating them quite happily since weaning - they become very sensitive to some compound or other. Not that I can remember any of the specifics...

I was a very fussy eater as a child (still am, really, in that I'm veggie) and my sister was ten times worse. Yet my mother is a really great cook. She tried everything over the years but at one stage my sister was surviving on omelettes and milk shake with egg in. Don't think it was her fault in any way, think we were just blooming awkward. But I can remember clearly not being able to communicate to adults that mixing food together was just plain wrong. Being repulsed by my father loading his fork with meat and vegetables together. Wouldn't bother me now (except the meat) but at the time it was just The Law of Edam that you couldn't possibly eat more than one thing at a time.

It's not all down to fussy parents, that's nonsense. I've got one who ate pretty much anything, and one who started off like that and now eats like a bird.

sj, is right about stimulus etc. My children eat more when we're all eating and the meal is longer. They often just need time or did when they were little, to get through it, chat, eat some more etc.

And it's awful when meals are a battle. My sister the other weekend was describing her awful morning and then said then there's lunch to get through as if a family meal was some kind of burden. I don't think now they';re older I really give the meals much thought. We eat. That's that but she was implying it was a battle (they're 5) and problems over sickness, eating it all up etc I felt like saying scrap lunches at weekends entirely in your house then and just leave a range of foods on the side in the kitchen and let them grab what they like when they want to abolish the trauma session she seemed to be describing.