What do you believe causes fussy eating in young children?

[bumbleweed]

Am interested, because I have a 17 month old dd who doesnt eat alot. I weaned her mainly on finger foods because she refused to be spoon fed. I also weaned at 26 weeks and quite gradually.

My friend's theory is that if babies are not exposed to full range of family foods that will become part of their diet at early age (eg before age 1) then a window of opportunity is missed and they become nervous of all unfamiliar foods.

But this doesnt explain children who are really good eaters when babies but become really picky toddlers and children.

So my question is a nature or nurture one I guess?

It's about power and control IMHO. Kids don't get to assert themselves a whole lot and food is an emotive parenting area where they can make you feel shitty by refusing foods.

Personally, we follow the PARENTS choose what to serve. KIDS choose whether and how much to eat.

My theory is that if they want to live on beans on toast and I only serve it once a week, they'll get really hungry and start eating something else providing you just ignore it and at the end of your meal, take theirs away.

OTOH my brother was raised entirely on tomato ketchup sandwiches (he stank!) He turned out fine. Although he is a banker.

I think it is making a fuss of any sort over eating that leads to issues.

I can only talk from my own experience but I found that as babies (up to age 2.5-3) my children would eat almost anything put in front of them. They ate a huge range of foods. Then when they hit 2.5-3 it was as if their palate had really kicked in and lots of foods were rejected and the range became much narrower. Once they hit 5or so then that started to reverse again so now they eat pretty much anything again

If you make a fuss of eating at any stage then they know they will get attention.

I think it is best to assume that they will eat when hungry and if food is rejected just calmly throw it in the bin, get them down from the table and try again later.

I particularly loath any attempts at playing with food to encourage them -so aeroplanes, choo choos, cheers and other games at the table just weren't for me!

Likewise for foods created especially for children - so no teletubby yoghurts here!

I know this is not entirely helpful, but it's because they just do. My DS 3, used to eat carrot sticks, yoghurts, cucumber, all fruit.

Now he doesn't. For dinner, he only eats sausage & chips, omellette, spahetti bolognaisse, chicken & roast potatos, no gravy.

And that's it.

I think as ever it's very variable. I do think NOT exposing children to a good range of flavours and textures early on definitely increases the chance of a child being finicky/squeamish/just plain disinterested later on.

That said, there are plenty of children who were weaned on "the right stuff" at the right time - often with non-fussy siblings who were weaned virtually identically - who develop eating problems anyway.

There's a huge range of reasons and types of childhood eating issue IMO. No one cause and no one solution, sadly. It's daft to assume that just because a child doesn't eat well the parents must have somehow cocked up the weaning process. I think a lot of people (especially people with one non-problematical child) do assume that though. I did .

I thought most children become a bit phobic with food around 2-3 don;t they? in the wild (as it were) they would be weaning about then and start eating fruit and berries etc its to stop them eating poisonous stuff that they get very suspicious and will only eat things Mum has proved are safe by eating first. I think its programmed in the problem is we don;t let is die natrually and assume that they will continue like that but left to themselves many children naturally grow out of it. Or am I wrong?

It's a whole mixture of things!
DS ate with gusto when first weaned (but wouldn't touch pureed lentils the first time he had them - nor has he since), then would barely eat anything at all betwen 18m and 3, and now eats small amounts and whilst he has a long list of 'dislikes', he will try anything once and eats a good range of foods.

Small children simply don't experience taste the same way adults do. Their receptors fro different flavours are different, and I think, in fact, that babies have taste receptors in thier cheeks! Small children experience flavours more intensley than we do, and children are different in thier sensitivity to taste.

Also, I think something instinctive kicks in aroud 2 when they naturally become highly suspicious of greens in case they eat poisonous plants 'in the wild'

As for nurture, ds will not eat carrots (what's not t like about a carrot??) although he watches me enjoying them - but he ate an oyster knowing full well that I wouldn't even put one in my mouth. So influence isn't all it's cracked up to be either!

Hmm so you basically think its about manipulative behaviour. I am not sure that very young children really have the understanding to deliberately want their parents to feel shitty.

Yes they want to exercise power over themselves - ie what they do, where they go, whether to have nappy on, and what to eat.

But at what age is it realistic to impose that sort of 'eat what is offered or dont eat' on children? For example a child as young as my dd would just want to bf all the time and would be really whingey and upset if she was hungry.

my reply was in answer to tinkerbell

I think a lot of children go through fussy phases of eating despite eating whatever they were given as babies.MY son is one of them.
The thing that makes it worse is making a fuss about it,what makes it better is eating together as a family and showing by example.It is a slow process though with some children.
17 month is very young though,your dd can still be influenced by family meals together imo.
They do sya that a child needs to be offered a new food ten times before they're likely to try it and then it'll be a wee while before they learn to enjoy ot.
My ds has improved a lot in the last 2 yrs but we have a way to go yet

I agree with Soapy - don't pander to it! I can't bear that silly woman who designs a plate of food to look like a clown or an aeroplane. Eat it or don't eat it - the choice is yours! My dd once said of courgettes 'what's that mummy, I don't like it' I said 'its cooked cucumber and you like cucumber' She ate it and hey presto - she liked it!

I agree with ucm

I agree with most of what people have written on here. I think for my DS the window of getting fussy and then getting less fussy was slightly earlier than soapbox suggests - more like 2-4 but I have always been lucky with him and at just turned 6 he has a fantastic range of food likes (cucumber being his favourite), a good appetite, but no signs of being anything but the body shape he should be. He can still be funny about the odd thing such as burgers (in any form including home-made or fast-food, but likes savoury mince, spag bol, meatloaf, cottage pie, chilli etc), but recently started eating spinach again after a couple of years off thanks to lisalisa's recipe.

I have always insisted they have things on their plate and just push them to one side if they don't like them. Then it is less of a big step to start to eat it again, even with DD who is only 2 I insist on this. With DS I say he should try a mouthful of most things unless I am sure he genuinely doesn't like it.

I'm not sure I would call it manipulative behaviour as such. I just try to treat them the way I would wish to be treated.

I would hate to have people comment on what I have or haven't eaten and would be incandescent with rage if someone started to try and persuade me to eat something that I didn't like or didn;t fancy at that particular time. Then if they topped it by doing that swooping aeroplance noise thing, I woudl probably lose it completely

I think low key is the answer really - to keep everyone sane

Yes, Bozza - I always serve everyone with the same thing - and then they leave it on their plate if they don;t want it! It is amazing how often they forget what they don't like

blu - my DH doesn't like carrots (although he will eat them raw or in casseroles/stirfrys). He finds it rather strange that 2yo DD claims them as her favourite food. And DS is quite a fan too.

ds1 probabl;y counts as a fussy eater, but I don't really care how much variety he does or doesn't have. I don't refer to him as a fussy eater, he just knows what he likes.

His has poncey tastes - he does like sushi, doe sNOT like nuggets, and he has had ample opportunity to taste both.

I also think that involving children in the cooking of meals helps. Obviously not very little ones, but my dd enjoys trying things in the kitchen as we are cooking and therefore is much more likely to 'give it a go'

Soapbox 'tis true - catch them on a hungry and chatty day and suddenly a lot of stubborn dislikes can go out of the window.

The 'dont make any fuss' theory I read about in a book called 'My Child Wont Eat' which was very good at explaining, that playing games and putting pressure on them will be totally unsuccessful and will stress out all parties. The approach was just relax, keep offering healthy foods and children will eat what they need.

Since reading that fairly early on, I would say there is no emotional fuss made at all at meal times in our house.

On a personal level, I am happy that dd eats a healthy diet because she snacks and grazes on fruit, seeds, nuts, toast, peas, the odd carrot, the odd piece of broccoli, wholemeal pasta and dried-apricots.

But I keep wondering how she will ever know whether she likes all the other things out there (like cooked dinners) and what seems to scare her about trying new things?

princesscc DD spends hours stood on a chair next to me while I am cooking. Last night I made shepherd's pie; "I not like that" she said as I chopped onions, and again as I chopped mushrooms and celery, and again as I opened a tin of tomatoes. Then with the tyical consistency of a 2yo she sat down at the table and ate a huge plateful.

Agree with Princess - cooking with them is good too! Although possibly 17mo a little early for that

Another thought is that if I am cooking a new recipe I always serve it with something familiar that I know they like. That way they can eat the rice or pasta and try a little bit of the new thing and it's not the end of the world if they don;t like it! Otherwise it can set them off on the most unholy row

soapbox, I think you are so right about treating children as you would wish to be treated

I tried the aeroplane thing at one stage

I also think colditz you are right about not labelling a 'fussy eater' or a 'good eater'. Its even more annoying to hear other parents of very compliant children who eat everything put in front of them say they are 'good eaters' - so dd is a 'bad eater' then?

I agree with the not labelling - 'tis much better to put it down to 'it's just a phase'

I did the aeroplane thing too - but decided life was too flipping short to spend every meal time behaving like some kind of circus clown - all to no avail!

Actually I think you might be being a bit hypersensitive in that last post. Why shouldn't other parents take pleasure in the fact that their children eat well? I imagine their children will have other problems which yours don't. Of course another parent calling a child a "good eater" isn't intended as an implicit criticism of your or your dc.

Personality (but that doesn't mean they can't grow out of it with constant nagging to try things again and again.) My DS has always eaten everything and in huge amounts. My DD was pretty good as a baby, got really quite bad for a while (just pasta, cheese and grapes) but now at nearly 4 is doing so much better. We made a picture on the wall where I write things she likes and she loves being able to add something to it.