What do you believe causes fussy eating in young children?

[bumbleweed]

Am interested, because I have a 17 month old dd who doesnt eat alot. I weaned her mainly on finger foods because she refused to be spoon fed. I also weaned at 26 weeks and quite gradually.

My friend's theory is that if babies are not exposed to full range of family foods that will become part of their diet at early age (eg before age 1) then a window of opportunity is missed and they become nervous of all unfamiliar foods.

But this doesnt explain children who are really good eaters when babies but become really picky toddlers and children.

So my question is a nature or nurture one I guess?

Greenleeves, you are right, that came across wrong and I am not really 'annoyed' in any way, and parents have absolutely every right to be proud of their children for enjoying their food and eating a wide variety.

I just started this topic because I was genuinely interested in what people think. Also have thought myself recently I should stop telling people about dd's eating because it I dont want to label her as some kind of fussy or awkward child.

I didn't mean to maul you there bumbleweed (am tired and grumpy, sorry), it must be really hard. Both of mine go through phases of food refusal/faddiness, but in their case I'm pretty sure it's just the usual power struggle , so I try to go for the "blithely not making a fuss" approach. It does get to you though - feeding your child is the first and most fundamental thing we do for them, so if it's not going well it hits you where it hurts.

I wouldn't stop talking to people about her eating - she's too young to feel labelled IMO and you need to canvass support and advice for yourself sometimes.

Soapy: "I would hate to have people comment on what I have or haven't eaten and would be incandescent with rage if someone started to try and persuade me to eat something that I didn't like or didn;t fancy at that particular time"

I disagree, sometimes the toddler is not always right. Eg Had I not regularly served them and nagged her to try them everytime, my DD would not have recently decided that she now likes carrots and sweetcorn. Neither of us would have found out because she would never have touched them. My rule is you have to try it then if you don't like it you can leave it.

Well we do things differently here - they go on their plates and it is up to them to try them or not.

They do eat a vast range of foods so it isn;t something I'm bothered about. They are a lot older now anyway so I can only really comment on what I did and why I did it. Of course other people have different approaches but I am only saying what worked for me and my DCs

I think preferring some foods and disliking others is normal in both children and adults. But I think parents can increase fussiness in children by making a fuss about food and eating themselves.

my ds (9.5y ears old) was weaned on everything wholesome, ate everything, all homemade, etc etc. Hit a bad patch arund 2-3 years old and now....

he is terribly interested in food now, and loves to help cook - but actually eat what he has prepared..''who, dear, me dear? ooh dear no dear''
We grow a lot of our own veg and he is very involved...he gets all excited about, say, the onions we have grown but just chooses not to even taste certain foods. He lives on meat, fish, pasta, rice, noodles, tomato sauces (home made and ketchup), carrots, broccoli, bread, green beans, baby sweetcorn, mange tout, and red pepper, apples, raspberries, strawberries and blackberries. That is It. He will not anything with a sauce on. Or any eggs or any cheese. It is a fecking nightmare. And I have tried everything, including starving him. In the last year his repertoire has expanded to include pancakes/yorkshire puddings and home-made pizza with pepperoni and anchovy!!

He is of course, skinny as a lathe and very healthy and active but A complete and utter little bastard to cook for.

LOL!

Just wait another 3ish years until he hits puberty and you'll be back here complaining that he is eating you out of house and home

And phases in childrearing can last a heckuva long time

FMV - I think most people would consider that list of foodstuffs a good and varied diet though. Which kind of goes to show that "fussy" is a relative term.

FMV that's a really good and varied diet!

that's what I mean - one person's idea of fussy is not another's.

My child has a huge problem with food, so its interesting to see everybody's theories on it. I was scared to open thread cos thought it would be all put down to crap parenting. Nice to see it isn't

I think it can be caused by a range of issues. ONe of ds's main problems is that he associates food with his stomach hurting. It has caused huge problems for him. He eats very little (though this is improving) and of a small variety of foods. He'd rather starve than put something that scares him into his mouth. He's gone without food or milk for several days before and its only with a lot of effort that we have managed to get him to eat anything.

BEfore I had ds I thought those who had 'fussy' eaters (and I hate that term) were bad parents who just didn't try hard enough. Boy did karma smack me in the arse

Yeah, perhaps we just have a different idea of fussiness. When your child won't eat any fruit or veg (or only 1 or 2) you do have to try and take some control. That's what I call fussy eating.

I never fussed over food. I served what they were to eat. I virtually never commented on whether it was eaten or not. I didn't have foods around I didn't want them to eat. No one is very fussy. I just didn't make it an issue but then I did have a nanny feeding them lunch and eat in the week so can hardly say I was always the involved parent I suppose but it did seem to work. The aim is not to make it a battle of wills, not to put much effort into the meal so you're happy to put it into the bin and genuinely not be bothered whether it's eaten or not on the basis that children eat what they need anyway so try just never to think much about it at all. Make it a complete non issue.

Indulgent over analytical parents.
Too much choice.

I'm with soapbox.
I only do one meal every evening if they don't eat it they go hungry. Oldest is 3, youngest 2. 1 in particular often goes to bed having eaten practically zilch at tea time. We've done this since day one. They eat masses of lovely healthy stuff during the day so I don't loose sleep over it.

I don't believe in force feeding children. If they don't want it so what, but they're not getting anything else. Children aren't daft if they're hungry they eat and make up for it big time at the next meal. My only rule is they have to try everything so they get constant access to new flavours.

Two are fantastic eaters one less so but he has a very healthy diet and just likes what he likes. Thankfully that seems to be hummus, fruit, pasta etc pretty much what he was weaned on. He's exhausted at tea time so less tolerant of new things then. He is a more cautious child as regards trying any new experience but he has a very varied and healthy diet. It's just less varied than the other 2. So I would say it could be a bit of both nature and nurture. If I pandered to him and gave him fish fingers every night like he suggests I reckon he'd be a total nightmare.

I know it sounds quite good - but that is it. We cannot feed him casseroles, stews, curries, chillis, fajitas, chinese, soups, beans on toast, scrambled eggs, pies, even puddeings FFS! And it has taken NINE long, long years to get this far.....

Maybe, inadvertantly, I'm giving people hope!

Now, the other DS is even worse.......he lives on packed lunches. I kid you not. The only carbs he gets are bread and porridge and cereal. He likes meat, carrots, brocolli, green beans, cheese, any vile, cold product made from pork, yoghurts, and most fruit. Not a spud, rice or pasta item has passed his lips since he was 2...(He's 6). My kids are freaks. Healthy, but freaks. Sigh. And I have long since stopped battling, food gets offered, some of it gets eaten, most of it does not - only the sheer bloody wastage breaks my heart. (I have been known to use children/africa lines...)

Oh, and I know I am not a crap parent, BTW it's the only thing I've ever shown an aptitude for...

Lots of interesting comments, my ds was always really easy to feed (even easier at 13) but, dd hit 2 and boy did she go off of everything (except fruit). Now at 4 1/2 she will eat most things, still faddy about rice. I totally agree that sitting down for meals together makes a huge difference and the less fuss you make the better, or so I've found. I also NEVER make her clear her plate (don't have that problem with ds), a friend of mine puts her problems with food down to the fact that her mum made her clear her plate every meal.

PMSL fmv, me too

My DS is very fussy. Wondered if it was my over-analytical, indulgent parenting. Since the diagnosis of Aspergers, I've realised that he is super sensitive to taste & smell. Hence he only tends to like very bland & rather dry food.
I think lots of children have way more sensitive taste than we realise.

Wondering when someone was going to come along and say it was crap parenting

Just one question for those people. How long do you let your child starve for (and I mean eaten absolutely nothing). When do you start getting worried? How many days before you worry?

Fuck it your not going to listen anyway. I've had this arguement too many tiems.

I'm a shite parent who obviously is too stupid or selfish to care.

After watching my sister throw away packets of crisps and chocolate bars because they were opened "upside down" and cook 5 different meals for each child, I made a promise that my kids would not get that bad.

As soon as they began eating we had a rule that they eat what we eat, the only exception I make is if we are having something spicy and then I might make a cooler version for them.

If they don't like what they have on their plate, they eat as much as they can and leave the rest. They don't get any substitutes.

I don't withold desserts.

Both of them have tried it on but we have always stuck firm. They eat what is on their plate or not. It's that simple.

Both of them are now very good eaters. They have their dislikes, such as mash and mushrooms for dd, but she knows she can leave them if she doesn't like them.

It works for us.

Neurotic parents.

That's a bit mean, Rantum.

I didn't say crap, though.

Rantum ducks for cover as thousands upon thousands of unfinished toddler meals are thrown in her direction...