What do you believe causes fussy eating in young children?

[bumbleweed]

Am interested, because I have a 17 month old dd who doesnt eat alot. I weaned her mainly on finger foods because she refused to be spoon fed. I also weaned at 26 weeks and quite gradually.

My friend's theory is that if babies are not exposed to full range of family foods that will become part of their diet at early age (eg before age 1) then a window of opportunity is missed and they become nervous of all unfamiliar foods.

But this doesnt explain children who are really good eaters when babies but become really picky toddlers and children.

So my question is a nature or nurture one I guess?

Armadillo, I haven't read all the posts, but ime kids don't starve. They are incapable of it when there is food on offer.

We try not to get into debates with them, our rule is simple and non-negotiable. ds has gone without for say a day, but he'll eat in the end. Even now he can be a pain but he certainly isn't starving! If he was hungry enough he'd eat it.

Most of the time the problem is not that they don't like it, it's just something else for them to rebel against, like bedtimes, getting dressed and so on. They have your whole attention at mealtimes so it's an ideal time to play up to that. But punishing them doesn't help either, they are only doing what all children do. Just be firm but fair.

Agree that you shouldn't make an issue/power struggle of it, having said that it's very difficult not to, hence this somewhat confused attempt at blackmail from DD1 3.5 yo last week, with a biscuit in her paw:

"If you don't give me another biscuit I won't eat this one!"

Yes it is very very hard.

You have to sit down with your partner and agree on a strategy and do not stray from it no matter how temping.

Very often we do things to make it easy for ourselves at that moment, but we are actually making things much harder for ourselves for the future.

bumbleweed - Oh I agree with you mostly.....I'm bfing and if I dared hold out on my DD she'd yell the house down (and I wouldn't anyway, I love feeding my little bitey monster).

But when we eat food, I put it out, she eats it, or not. It's fine.

My SiL prepares four separate meals one for each kid and one for them because otherwise they sulk. Youngest is two and yes she has worked out already that crying because mum puts carrots down works. Sorry, I'd love to believe that kids haven't figured out manipulation (or is influence a more palatable term) by that age, but IME some of them do.

Oh rantum, at one time I would have had a HUGE stockpile of untouched toddler meals to lob at you . Alas those days have gone!!

My toddler is a good eater. He is not, however, always good. He bites, hits, pulls hair and causes me unbelievable public stress. At least not eating is a mainly private malfunction!

My DH is 53 and he eats no breakfast, cheese sandwiches with ready salted crisps for lunch (with wine) and any variation of beef, potato and carrots for dinner (with more wine).

His mum told me (in complete seriousness) that 'you should never feed kids fruit or vegetables if they don't seem to like them first time because it's cruel to force them to eat something they don't like'.

I do wonder therefore if there is a relationship between parental attitude (he was allowed to get away with everything generally) and food issues?

Disclaimer**
Tinkerbellhadpiles is in no way perfect and in fact has a fat arse caused by too much chocolate. My diet is generally good and varied. I have however never eaten fruit shoots and Greggs is not getting rich off me thanksverymuch. I am not calling any of you crap parents, we all do it our own way and no-one is right, or wrong.
End of disclaimer**

there are some kids who do starve themselves.

Its rare, that doesn't mean its impossible.

I used to have a link to a web page that outlined the 4 main serious eating problems in children. Of course now I can't find it. One of them is a lack of interest in food. The child won't eat because it doesn't link the needing to eat and hunger and everything. Its difficult to explain to very young children why they need to eat.

Ds isn't as extreme as some children are. He has started asking for food occasionally and making the link between hunger and food.

I've spoken to parents whose children have ended up being hospitalised because they just won't eat.

Rantum, PMSL

We've never had the they'll starve issue because I'm not really very bothered about food. If they odn't like what is there often there won't be what they want in the house so once they've realised we've run out of XYZ cereal it's whatever is there or nothing. They'd never starve because they would just eat more at the next meal but I don't think we ever have meals they don't eat now they're 8. Most of the 5 children for example don't seem to like cheese which I and one other do which has never been a problem. They just don't have it. I think it helped that they were fed by differnt people, father, mother, nanny and then at 4 school lunch so food wasn't connected to a kind of struggle with one parent and was something you enjoy.

Children differ hugely so I don't think any of us can generalise just because ours aren't too bad.

There is a lot of research on tastes. Children weaned onto curry for example like that taste and it's a good idea to give them the chance to try loads of different foods. Ours like shell fish a lot and I suppose that's just because it's often eaten here.

TheArmadillo - yeah....but doesn't actually starving yourself indicate more of a mental health issue than a physical one - normally preceeded by some sort of trauma or abuse?

On another track, aren't fussy adult eaters more annoying than child ones?

My youngest has a problem with food. Pretty much all of the reasons here could apply to her. (Including neurotic mum!!)

I certainly believe there's a 'window of opportunity' - she was tube fed and not weaned until over 1..... there was also alot of stress around mealtimes for obvious reasons. And it's been one thing in her life she can control - she had what we laughingly call her 'beige phase' when she'd only eat neutral coloured food.

As far as solving it goes, we couldn't do the 'eat that or nothing' thing as she's been underweight pretty much all her life. She'll eat loads as long as it's from her limited list, so we put up with it.

Both my boys have always been pretty easy going food wise, except ds2's imagined allergy to peas!

NKffffffffee0f7f95X1118efd8f2d - oh god yes. Adult faddy eaters really hack me off.

I have to cook for people on a regular basis who say things like: 'I have a wheat and sugar allergy' which actually means 'I'm unable to resist chocolate and bread so please don't let me anywhere near it' - in this case, I know some people really can be allergic to stuff but in this case, she drinks beer FFS and says that she isn't allergic to fructose but is allergic to all other sugars. Yet is not thin nor dead nor on insulin.

I have one extreme food allergy (to prawns), it requires an ambulance. But I don't go around forcing other people to move round me, I simply skip that part of the meal.

I reckon mostly nurture, with a bit of nature thrown in. Maybe for a few children there's a lot more nature for some particular reason, health problems for example. Might change my mind if I have more children and they're really fussy eaters though.
Surely weaning babies onto jars must be a bad start? I don't mean the occasional jar obviously.
But I don't know how you combine breastfeeding a toddler on demand with a fairly non-negotiable stance on food? Like you say bumbleweed, if the food in any way doesn't take their fancy they'll just opt for a bf? If you wanted to go for the 'here's the food, eat it or leave it' approach and actually vaguely hoped your dc would eat some, I think you would have to limit breasfeeding. So if you don't want to do that, there's probably less choice about how to deal with food.

My nephews both refused milk, unless you referred to it as 'juice'.

Weird overindulged buggers though, the pair of them.

I think that temperment of the mother and baby determine whether a child grows up to be fussy.

My five year old son was weaned slowly at 26 weeks and also was weaned onto finger food. He is an excellent eater. I think the "window of opportunity" thing is complete nonsense. I know of children who were being given the full sunday dinner at three months old who are really fussy eaters.

I think the key is to avoid food being a battle ground. A hunger striker takes 60 days to die, if your child misses the odd meal because they have rejected it they won't come to any harm.

You need to look at food intake over a week. How much milk does your 17 month old drink? it might be possible that you are filling her up with milk.

Let your child touch and play with new foods and don't stress about them actually eating them. For example on day one she might smell a carrot, day two she might lick it and day three she might bite it.

Tinkerbell. I once had lunch with a woman who ordered smoked salmon. Which came, as you might expect, with triangular slices of brown bread and butter.

I've never forgotten the sight of her using a knife and fork to move each slice to the side of her plate, stack them up ina neat pile, all the while sniffing and saying "I don't like bread and butter".

And I used to work with models who use extreme fussiness as an excuse not to eat anything at all.

Totally disagree with 2 year olds manipulating to get what they want, all they do is try to get their own way for natural reasons not through any conscious manipulation, two different things.

I think that children are entitled to have likes and dislikes just like the rest of us as should be respected. My dd doesn't like cheese much for instance but will eat most foods including fruit and veg that I have. Ds1 isn't as good an eater but will eat his veg and loves bananas and other fruits. I think that making an issue out of food can lead to problems with food when they're older so I don't do that. They eat it or they don't and that's it, I don't MAKE them eat things.

I'm a fussy eater, I have my likes and dislikes but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I wouldn't eat something I don't like so why should my children? Dh eats a lot of foods, I'm a vegetarian. I don't like salads, mushrooms, and lots of other typical vegetarian foods but I'm happy and eat what I want. Food isn't my life and so I don't preoccupy myself over it or make it into a big deal.

I was a fussy eater as a child, (and so was dsis) - no idea why. When I went to school, the food was so disgusting, that I got even fussier.

I owuld not eat eggs in any form, the only veg I would eat was peas & carrots, would only eat one type of sausage, etc.

My Mum used to have to pre-warn people we were visiting that we would only eat fishfingers, so not to bother concocting some gourmet delicacy.

The one thing I can remember is that basically we ate waht we wanted to..within reason. What's the point of serving up a whole meal to children when you know they won;t eat any of it?

We were encouraged to try new things all teh time, and I can remember a breakthrough when I discovered salad cream at about 7 and started eating salad!

The thing is, as an adult I will eat pretty much anything, and my adult tastes developed between the ages of about 8 and 14.

So imo making a big fuss about food is just not worth the trouble.

As long as DS eats a balanced diet from the various food groups, even IF he only eats carrots, peas and olives, I make sure he always ahs them, and regulalry serve otehr veg and put it on his plate. If he doesn;t like it (he always tried stuff) he is allowed to leave it, no questions.

I do also insist a reasonable effort has been made with his first course before any pudding is allowed, but he doesn;t have to finish it completely.

I think he eats well, but he has always eaten good quantities, so never been in the situation where he would refuse to eat at all, which I think must be incredibly stressful, and possibly lead to difficulties at mealtimes.

children starving themselves usually is caused by either abuse or a health problem or incident that has caused them to associate food with something bad.

Its either a reaction to having things beyond their control (in the case of abuse) or a kind of phobia in which the child has a fear of food - sometimes it can be a choking incident or an association of food with pain (if they have a medical problem).

I hate the term 'fussy' eating because it is so non-specific. IT is often applied to a child who has serious eating problems as well as a child who say refuses to eat veg unless hidden. It groups them all together and says that there is no difference.

OVer 90% of children who have eating disorders at a pre-school age grow out of them around the time they start school (peer pressure is a strong factor in this).

I did a lot of research into this when ds was at his worst.

BUt hey, on the positive side my ds doesn't eat junk food or sweets. They hold no appeal for him (apart from crisps, but he rarely has them). I don't have to worry about people giving him crap

Frances - and on day four....she'll throw it or mush it into your hair

Frances - and on day four....she'll throw it or mush it into your hair

In case no one had guessed I'm a bit obsessed on the subject

I thought I was a terrible mother. I thought I had done everything right and then this happened. I followed all the guidelines - don't make a fuss, just wait to the next meal time, but it got worse and worse. A couple of bites of toast a day.

I have also had a lot of people who have told me to my face how I am a crap mother. SOme of them have never even met my child. They have told me exactly where I have gone wrong (even though I never did the things they accused me of) without ever knowing how I did things.

It makes me sensitive on the subject.

TheArmadillo, that must have been really hard to deal with and in your situation I hope I would have been able to keep my cool like you did! Good mummy, have some chocolate!