Under the sea or clouds and rainbows???

[MummyMiddleton]

Or baby boy is due on November 10th. We have a room for him but we don't want to buy and furniture or decor until we know what theme we are choosing. We are stuck between under the sea and clouds and rainbows. Both are equally cute.
We would paint the walls dark turquoise/aqua for under the sea and pale blue for clouds and rainbows. My mum has an art degree and will be painting the decor on top of the base colour (sea creatures and plants or clouds connected by rainbows).

If you had to choose, what would you go for?

MyFavouriteName

We are pretty much inseperable. All my friends are his friends and all his friends are mine. They are more family friends now we are married.

mummy - because a biological man's experience of pregnancy is not comparable to that of a biological woman's

personally, i would actually feel quite uncomfortable to have some weeping man not mention his bananas wife sat there being superior whilst i was discussing changes in my nipples and sex drive

There are some interesting discussion points there. My mum had a rough time of it when I was born and one of her most painful memories is having a male midwife (unusual then) demand to examine her stitches. She felt violated and has never been able to rationalise it. She would have preferred to have been treated more sympathetically by someone who had a chance of understanding what it feels like to have "female plumbing".

You would probably think that sexist, but post-birth hormones haven't evolved to allow rational thinking hours after birth.

anchor9

He wasnt crying at the pregg group. Also, I wouldnt mind anyone knowing those things as long as they were decent. Its all natural. No shame.

Because a group for pregnant mums is likely to be based around discussing your pregnancies.

Stretch marks, painful boobs, piles, puking, flatulence, snoring, hair loss etc etc.

Not really the sort of dynamic you'd want a strange bloke involved in.

Equality doesn't mean everything the same, you know.

Maybe you don't mind but the other women do?

Titty

I personally wouldnt mind what gender my midwife was, as long as they comforted me and knew what they were doing.

I bet his eyes were watering though

I didn't really want to discuss my stitches, lochia flow, cramping, bleeding nipples, baggy tummy, corrective surgery with my father in law, brothers in law, (male) next door neighbour, or the other dad's from our very very close antenatal group. Can't blame the women at a pregnant mums' group for being peed off at a bloke tagging alone.

Essie

But its nothing new to him, hes heard it all from me.

You may not be a troll, but you both sound like a pair of clowns.

Oh.. There's a nursery theme for you.

Equality doesn't mean everything the same, you know.

OP if you take nothing more from this thread.... (which is what I anticipate)... Ess has hit the nail on the head here

IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM.

IT'S ABOUT THE OTHER WOMEN.

I think you are taking the piss now though.

Titty

He wasnt tagging along, he was going so he could learn about baby things and stuff, same reason I went. Also, to make new friends. Men and women can be friends, especially if they have something in common like having a baby of a similar age

Drama

Oh hell no, clowns freak us both out. Never.

I personally wouldnt mind what gender my midwife was, as long as they comforted me and knew what they were doing.

I'm as for equality as it's possible to be.

I had a mixture of male and female midwives. I could ask the female ones their experiences of stitches/instrumental births etc and get a real life answer rather than a textbook one. It was a male midwife that inspected my stitches and removed all of the wadding from my vagina 12 hours after birth. He was very gentle but surprisingly the experience reared its head during my PTSD counselling. You can think what you like now but as I say, the brain doesn't always act rationally and you have no idea how you'll feel when you have the experience.

I expected birth to be empowering - it wasn't. It was terrifying. The PTSD still affects me (kicked off by a female midwife) and means my DD will remain an only child.

You can plan, but you can't control.

Essie

So he should miss out on valuable knowlege about how he can do the best for his new baby because some people are too shy to say perfectly natural things infront of a decent human being?

yes but having a baby is a very different experience if you're a man or a woman.

Once baby is here you can talk about some stuff together, but during the pregnancy, I'm sorry but it's a totally different experience.

And during the birth it's a different experience.

And post-birth some experiences are shared but a lot are not.

He wasnt tagging along, he was going so he could learn about baby things and stuff, same reason I went. Also, to make new friends. Men and women can be friends, especially if they have something in common like having a baby of a similar age

That's what antenatal classes are for.

Women only gyms are for - women.

Women's changing rooms are for - women.

Pregnant mums groups are for - pregnant mums. Not partners!

Yes. Why?

Is that in response to me asking if you share a name? If so, did you take his, he yours or did you choose a new one together?

I'm afraid I'm with everyone else (again) - if it was a pregnant mum's chat group, to discuss their pregnancies, then I wouldn't like a random - to me, and all the other women - man there. Pregnancy is a female experience, surely the most female experience there is. To want to discuss that in a female space would not be odd or unusual. To invite a man along to a pregnant mums group is very thoughtless. If you want to have your DH always by your side then find one for both mums and dads, or set one up yourself. And don't forget that some of those women may not have a man in their lives anymore to share their pregnancy with. For them, that group is probably very important. There's nothing wrong with female bonding.

You sound suffocating!

You are individuals and to never do anything apart isn't healthy!

mummy you are really starting to sound like an shit now. pregnancy as a female is a female experience. please don't force your (surprisingly inconsistent) PC, woo equality in its most linear definition, stance on other women. you are entitled to be batshit, other women are entitled to favour female midwives/confidantes. it doesn't make us morally inferior.

He's not that decent if he doesn't have basic respect for other people's dignity.

FWIW I'll happily discuss my fanjo woes with anyone who'll listen, in theory, but I have enough respect to not bring it up in front of my elderly FIL (for example). Similarly I wouldn't intrude on a group of men discussing their prostates. Bit because I'm bothered, but because they might well be.

Bit=not