Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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You know you're a parent when....

88 replies

user1482528086 · 19/06/2017 23:03

You have have a cracking tune in your head all day that turns out to be the Brad Lee hit from Postman Pat you watched 15 hours ago!

I'm sure this thread will have been done hundreds of times but I couldn't find one so I'm starting a new one if anyone wants to share their moments

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 19/06/2017 23:04

There's fucking Wheetos everywhere.

Upsideout · 19/06/2017 23:11

I just got into bed with a lego policeman.

PoohBearsHole · 19/06/2017 23:14

You clear up poo from the floor and it wasn't the animal you own

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daisygirlmac · 19/06/2017 23:15

You have vomit in your ear, your hair and down your arm and you're just thankful it didn't go on the sofa

JayDot500 · 19/06/2017 23:15

At work: everytime you hear a bang/bump you jump and turn to run to your kid. Oh, wait...
Blush

KanyesLunchbox · 19/06/2017 23:19

You have caught not-your-own vomit in your hand or on one utterly repulsive occasion, mouth.

PoohBearsHole · 19/06/2017 23:19

@daisy and you haven't been on a university style bender 😂

Wolfiefan · 19/06/2017 23:20

Me time? It's the rare chance to pee alone! Grin

TwatteryFlowers · 19/06/2017 23:26

Your house resembles a bomb site.

A random child says, "Mum," and you turn around to answer even if you're not with your own dc.

Going out anywhere takes so much organising it sometimes makes you wonder if it's worth the hassle.

BalaRua · 19/06/2017 23:29

You have to breastfeed a doll that has been aggressively slammed into your chest by a toddler yelling 'BABY BOOBY'.

Xmasbaby11 · 19/06/2017 23:30

You know the cbeebies schedule by heart.

There are always breadsticks and rice cakes in your cupboard / handbag / car.

Your car is also full of Disney cds, mini toys and crumbs.

Your friends think you have a social life because say you have a busy weekend. What you mean is you're taking the dc to swimming lessons in the morning and a birthday party in the afternoon.

Xmasbaby11 · 19/06/2017 23:32

You know all the playgrounds within a 5 mile radius and van offer the pros and cons of each one.

You look forward to your nights out for literally weeks in advance.

TwatteryFlowers · 19/06/2017 23:35

You have daft songs stuck on a loop in your head. Last year we saw a combine harvester in a field so I played that "I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key..." on YouTube. I was singing it for weeks afterwards.

DinosaursArentMakeBelieve · 19/06/2017 23:36

Your house constantly smells of poo and you become such a poo connoisseurs that you can immediately tell if it was your husband, your Baby or the dog... Confused

LostInMess · 19/06/2017 23:46

Your house is liberally festooned with abandoned socks.

GinIsIn · 19/06/2017 23:53

You hiss "for GOD's sake, you'll wake the baby!" every time anyone makes a loud noise. Whether the baby is sleeping, or indeed even with you or not.

mamatiger83 · 19/06/2017 23:55

You're sitting on the bathroom floor after cleaning up the blood from the 7th nosebleed of the evening :(

user1482528086 · 20/06/2017 10:06

Dear lord mamatiger seventh?!?!

Also you definitely know you're a parent when you start to laugh at rely on for five minutes peacePeppa Pig

OP posts:
user1482528086 · 20/06/2017 10:08

Bit of a fail there. I definitely wanted the rely on bit to be crossed out not just oddly highlighted

OP posts:
NoCapes · 20/06/2017 10:11

When you're childless on public transport and shout "fire engine!" When one drives past
...then other passengers start moving away from you BlushGrin

user1482528086 · 20/06/2017 10:15

Yeh that will make the others move away nocapes

OP posts:
Mermaid36 · 20/06/2017 10:20

When your living room looks like a childminders/nursery....

momdancing · 20/06/2017 10:27

When you can tell if your potty training DC are about to have an accident and whether it's a poo or wee accident purely by the look in their eyes.

SnotGoblin · 20/06/2017 10:29

You are sitting in the office with a biscuit stain on your white summer blouse and a half a sippy cup of milk on your desk.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 20/06/2017 10:40

When your naice handbag is filled with spare hair bands, emergency distraction sweets, tissues and weighs half a stone...

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