You know you're a parent when....

[user1482528086]

You have have a cracking tune in your head all day that turns out to be the Brad Lee hit from Postman Pat you watched 15 hours ago!

I'm sure this thread will have been done hundreds of times but I couldn't find one so I'm starting a new one if anyone wants to share their moments

There's fucking Wheetos everywhere.

I just got into bed with a lego policeman.

You clear up poo from the floor and it wasn't the animal you own

You have vomit in your ear, your hair and down your arm and you're just thankful it didn't go on the sofa

At work: everytime you hear a bang/bump you jump and turn to run to your kid. Oh, wait...

You have caught not-your-own vomit in your hand or on one utterly repulsive occasion, mouth.

@daisy and you haven't been on a university style bender 😂

Me time? It's the rare chance to pee alone!

Your house resembles a bomb site.

A random child says, "Mum," and you turn around to answer even if you're not with your own dc.

Going out anywhere takes so much organising it sometimes makes you wonder if it's worth the hassle.

You have to breastfeed a doll that has been aggressively slammed into your chest by a toddler yelling 'BABY BOOBY'.

You know the cbeebies schedule by heart.

There are always breadsticks and rice cakes in your cupboard / handbag / car.

Your car is also full of Disney cds, mini toys and crumbs.

Your friends think you have a social life because say you have a busy weekend. What you mean is you're taking the dc to swimming lessons in the morning and a birthday party in the afternoon.

You know all the playgrounds within a 5 mile radius and van offer the pros and cons of each one.

You look forward to your nights out for literally weeks in advance.

You have daft songs stuck on a loop in your head. Last year we saw a combine harvester in a field so I played that "I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key..." on YouTube. I was singing it for weeks afterwards.

Your house constantly smells of poo and you become such a poo connoisseurs that you can immediately tell if it was your husband, your Baby or the dog...

Your house is liberally festooned with abandoned socks.

You hiss "for GOD's sake, you'll wake the baby!" every time anyone makes a loud noise. Whether the baby is sleeping, or indeed even with you or not.

You're sitting on the bathroom floor after cleaning up the blood from the 7th nosebleed of the evening :(

Dear lord mamatiger seventh?!?!

Also you definitely know you're a parent when you start to laugh at rely on for five minutes peacePeppa Pig

Bit of a fail there. I definitely wanted the rely on bit to be crossed out not just oddly highlighted

When you're childless on public transport and shout "fire engine!" When one drives past
...then other passengers start moving away from you

Yeh that will make the others move away nocapes

When your living room looks like a childminders/nursery....

When you can tell if your potty training DC are about to have an accident and whether it's a poo or wee accident purely by the look in their eyes.

You are sitting in the office with a biscuit stain on your white summer blouse and a half a sippy cup of milk on your desk.

When your naice handbag is filled with spare hair bands, emergency distraction sweets, tissues and weighs half a stone...