You know you're a parent when....

[user1482528086]

You have have a cracking tune in your head all day that turns out to be the Brad Lee hit from Postman Pat you watched 15 hours ago!

I'm sure this thread will have been done hundreds of times but I couldn't find one so I'm starting a new one if anyone wants to share their moments

When your idea of a treat is getting to do the supermarket shop on your own

We live abroad. We had guests who offered to give us a break and look after the kids when we went out. They were aghast when the outing we chose was to go to Lidl together, but honestly, hand out the iPads and we can have a quiet dinner. A shopping trip together, without kids is a real treat!

You know it's nearly bedtime when you hear "and now it's time, to say goodnight..."

Your driving anywhere alone and pass a field saying " A cow. MOOOO"

Your officemates admire your punishment stories, and say "I used to be just like that when I was a kid!"

I've had the shimmer and shine tune in my head for 5 days

I was also shouting to my toddler "please don't wee on that!" Earlier

when you're spelling something on the phone and you find yourself saying it phonetically. When you start looking forward to bedtime at 8pm as you just know that you'll be up at 6am come rain or shine...

You've had a schleich pony imprint in your leg from toddler bringing it in at 3am.

Fucking things are indestructible quality, but boy does it hurt to realise you've slept on one.

When your totally competent adult friend asks you to pass them a bottle of water and you open it for them.

You empty your pockets to do the washing and find an empty wrapper, someone elses snotty tissue.

you are waiting to cross the road and tell the stranger also waiting 'ok, after this red car, to the middle and stop'

You see a teenager having a strop and are strangely relieved that other peoples teens act like that too.

At home dp and I engage in a bit of a battle of wills over who 'gets' to do jobs and who has to watch the kids watch telly. Dp once said " you always get to clear up the vomit". It's never been considered a treat before.

A trip to Aldi is fucking Mardi Gras!

BlahBlah "don't spit on mummy" was a particular high point in our house today.

When you finally give in and sing the toddler's version of nursery rhymes instead of the real one because.... well if you are a parent, you know why. You may find yourself doing this whilst speedcleaning the bathroom during bathtime, so that in actual fact you are clad in office clothes and marigolds, grinning manically and scrubbing at the loo with a wetwipe and singing

the prawn wants a dog
the prawn wants a dog
hi ho the merry o
the prawn wants a dooooog

Bonjour I went for an MRI a few weeks ago and the nurse almost apologetically said it might take a while. I said no that's great, take your time, and enjoyed a delightful half hour led on my back with my eyes shut and the radio on it was bliss

... all whilst being watched approvingly by a small naked person holding a plastic dinosaur called Cottontail. Or possibly Flopsy, or Mopsy.

There are many, many dinosaurs in your life and they all have names.

You know all the words to the Peppa Pig DVD and you think a little too much about why Miss Rabbit has all those jobs; you don't care about being farted in the face whilst your changing a nappy; you take parenting tips from a fluffy toy called Flop.

I was chief bridesmaid / matron of honour at the weekend and my handbagging skills (wipes, tissues, sweets, safety pins, hair clips, water bottle, spare sunglasses) were widely praised. Strangely no one needed the coloured pencils or the Hot Wheels.

...when you call for the cats to come and eat, and go through all 4 dc's names, (not necessarily in birth order, but strangely it often happens) before you get to the right one.

when you feel absolutely no shame at undressing for the doctor/nurse/beautician as so many people have seen you bits that it really doesn't faze you in the slightest.

When you've had the joyful experience of a child vomiting over the top of your head. Never ever kneel down next to a child who says they're going to be sick.

InDubiousBattle

Haha glad it's not just mine! We also had the "don't spit on mummy!" talk a few weeks ago.

Kids are lovely creatures.

Yy to rocking the shopping trolley. I also pat things that I'm holding, like I'm winding/patting a baby's back.

Also, serving an adult food and cutting up their chicken (or whatever), or opening their crisps for them.

Telling my 2.5 year old DS to 'stop putting your willy on your sister's head' (she's 10 months) more than once...

Telling the 10 month old numerous times to 'please get out of the dishwasher'..,

I just thought of another, crossing the road with my husband and getting hold of his hand to lead him across......he laughs at me for that!

You know you're a parent when you get generally excited that the post you started here gets shared by mumsnet on Facebook

You find lego/wheels/cars in your bed

When you offer your OH a taste of something from your plate and you scrape the spoon across his mouth when he has taken it off the spoon

When you have travel calpol in every bag/car/pocket you own

when you see a fire engine and you say " Look a Dee daw" then you remmber you don't have a child with you