You know you're a parent when....

[user1482528086]

You have have a cracking tune in your head all day that turns out to be the Brad Lee hit from Postman Pat you watched 15 hours ago!

I'm sure this thread will have been done hundreds of times but I couldn't find one so I'm starting a new one if anyone wants to share their moments

You know what time of day it is with what programme is on CBeebies.

You no longer own anything white incase the baby or the toddler gets too near you with sticky fingers.

You can't understand why getting yourself ready takes longer than approximately 7 minutes - you have honed this skill by doing the school run so getting yourself plus kids up and ready and out the door by 8am

Ooo this is fun....

^^that comment made me realise I'm a parent, since when was typing the highlight of your day hahaa

your teenager no longer accepts any advice at all and reminds you that you are wrong at least 5 times a day.....
NoCapes I have only just stopped doing that and he is 13 lol!

When you 16 yr old DD shouts and yells at you when you've bent over backwards to help them, then is sweetness and light with 'friends' that treat her badly. Give me back the first 5 years any day!

arewethereyet some days you take whatever highlights come your way!

You're not holding the baby anymore but you're still rocking from side to side looking completely deranged.

I rock the shopping trolley. When I have no children in it.

Me and dp were having a child free night out and we stood waiting for the green man at a crossing. There were no cars coming. We both went 'green man!' When it was time to cross. We also pointed out fire engines/diggers/tractors to each other.

My sister doesn't know any of the rescuebots names. I know them all.

when all hell breaks loose in the middle of what was a lovely game, 2 dc's have "chocolate bars", 3rd dc doesn't have "chocolate bar", you hand 3DC pretend "chocolate bar", arre then thanked, tears stop flowing and the game can carry on with nobody feeling left out because they don't have a pretend chocolate bar.

yep.

There are raisins and rice krispies all over your carpet, no matter how many times you seem to clean the floor.

You say 'for fucks sake' to yourself at least 10 times a day.

You consider popping to the shops for a pint of milk to be a mission.

'Holidays', which used to involve having late nights followed by lay-ins and chilling the next day, are now spent getting up at 5.30am, running around all day long, sitting in an empty restaurant of an evening (because you're the first there at 5pm) and then collapsing in bed exhausted at 9pm are now the norm.

You state loudly in an upbeat way 'Greenman!' at traffic lights even when with an adult friend......

Ah! Didn't read 2nd page - InDubiousbattle, snap.

I involuntary clapped/yayed my manager when he remembered something tricky the other week. Very embarrassing!

Ha idprefer, my dd (almost 2)says 'good girl mummy' if I've done something acceptable.

When you can tell from a 3 second glance of the telly which series of Something Special is on. I'll always think of the one that has the song lyric "I say hello, to you and all your friends" as the original because that's the one that was on when my kids first noticed the telly, even though it could have been shot any time between 2014 and the advent of colour telly for all I know.

When you have to share your bath with all the plastic characters from the little mermaid cos they have fallen off the side

Also when I have a Barbie skirt in my pocket (right now)

When going away alone overnight to attend a funeral seems like a holiday.

JohnLapsley, I'm going to an anniversary memorial at the weekend and 2*2 hours in the car (without David walliams audio books) plus night in grotty b&b will be the equivalent of the traditional MN spa day

You know what a backhoe loader is and can give an example of one from children's TV.

You have caught not-your-own vomit in your hand or on one utterly repulsive occasion, mouth

When you're grateful that the kid finally did crawl up onto your chest and throw up in your face (where you're lying on the settee groaning because you got the bug from their older brother first), because they've been whinging all morning, so were obviously coming down with it, and this means that finally we're getting somewhere.

when words like 'no, don't lick the shower tray' just comes out of your mouth and you don't even think twice, either about that you had to day it, or at the 3 year old doing it.

When your idea of a treat is getting to do the supermarket shop on your own.

When on a bad day you've taken to hiding yourself in the kitchen so you can surreptitiously ram chocolate into your mouth to make you feel better.

When a children's tv show comes on, and you think 'oh this is the one where...'

Also when you get to work and find a dummy in your back pocket. And another two in your bag totally not me today

You have a favourite Peppa character freddy fox

When you ask other, perfectly competent adults if they're sure they don't need to go to the loo....

Going to the dentist for a painful tooth extraction is actually lovely hour of quiet and relaxation.

You pick up and eat some half chewed bit of food because it means that you don't have to risk the quick trip to the bin.

You can 'speed wee'

You rub suspect marks into your clothes because what is the point in putting clean ones on again?

Someone else's fingers up your nose is only a minor inconvenience.

And yes to the rocking.

toffeeboffin I am totally with you on Freddie Fox. The kid is funny.
Do you have a favourite adult character?

When you always have a wet wipe. I'm pretty much known for it at work!