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Parenting

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Original poster

Kids being cruel to new kittens

188 replies

maggiethemagpie · 26/05/2017 23:47

We've just got two kittens and our children, 6 and 3 keep manhandling them and on two occasions have trapped them in enclosed spaces deliberately. I'm not sure of the best way to deal with this as we've told them a million times to be gentle, and used naughty step when we've caught them being rough.
Eg - throwing the kitten, holding/lifting by paws, putting in laundry basket and closing lid.

Final straw was tonight when one kitten went missing and i heard it mewing and found it in a box in the kids room with the lid on, in quite an enclosed space and it had been there at least an hour.

Don't know how to get them to stop- wwyd?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

gamerchick · 27/05/2017 12:34

hould OP take the kittens to the toilet with her or the shower? Should she insist her children accompany her around the house whilst cooking, tidying, sorting laundry so they are never ou

Yes, once you know your kids repeatedly can't be trusted then that's exactly what you do. If you don't want to or can't do that then maybe leave off for a few years.

I was at he point of wanting to install cat flaps in doors to rooms I could lock I was so fed up with the training the kid thing. You have to do it if this happens.

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 12:34

There's no excuse but sometimes there are reasons.

Topseyt · 27/05/2017 12:43

Constantinople, yes. That can be what it takes.

My DD3 was just two when I got my labrador as a puppy. This was exactly what I had to do and I won't pretend it was easy. I just couldn't risk leaving them. Puppy also had his crate, kept just as his den where he could be kept peacefully separated from her when he needed to sleep and for the odd occasion when I couldn't fully supervise.

Sometimes puppy could be out in our secure back garden for short periods too. There is always a way. I simply couldn't have risked leaving them unsupervised together at their ages.

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GinIsIn · 27/05/2017 12:48

Yes, that is what it takes. When we first brought our baby home I took one or both of them into the bathroom with me every time. Now he's 3 months old and the dog loves him so much she cries if she isn't in the same room as him, I know it's ok, but once he starts being mobile I will do this again to make sure the dog isn't hurt or frightened. (Very small dog!)

My mum's dog, who I look after a lot, has taken her lead from our dog and they both like to be near DS at all times so it will be a total PITA once he's mobile but that is the choice I made and I am responsible.

LTBiscuit · 27/05/2017 13:01

We got our kitten when our sons were 7 and 4. They adored her from the very start and have a wonderful bond with her. I didn't even need to tell them specifically to be gentle, they were automatically and instinctively so. Please rehome your poor kittens. Very concerning behaviour from your children

AmysTiara · 27/05/2017 14:50

Rehome the poor kittens. I can't believe you haven't done so and I'm at the fact your six year old can't lie.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 27/05/2017 14:59

I got my first kittens when DS1 was 2. He was never cruel, never hurt them or mistreated them. And he has a diagnosis of autism, so that's not a reason either. Oh and OP using the word "normal" to describe someone who doesn't have special needs is shit, and describing people who are deliberately and repeatedly cruel to animals is just ridiculous.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 27/05/2017 15:05

Rehome them and keep the kittens

GlitteryFluff · 27/05/2017 15:46

Poor kittens.
Can you keep the children away from the kittens and supervise all the time they're together until the behaviours stops? Ie not leave them alone for an hour so they're able to put the cats in a box?

If not regime before one of them gets seriously injured or killed.

GlitteryFluff · 27/05/2017 15:49

Sorry rest of thread didn't load so didn't see op had replied at all.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 27/05/2017 16:33

should OP take the kittens to the toilet with her or the shower? Should she insist her children accompany her around the house whilst cooking, tidying, sorting laundry so they are never out of her sight

Yes. Either take the children or the kittens. It will just be for a short while until she finds a new home for the kittens. When my DC were little they did trail around behind me most of the time anyway. If the children don't like it, well they've now learned a lesson in what happens when you can't be trusted to be kind to animals that sitting on a step or gentle talking to's hasn't managed to teach them.

corythatwas · 27/05/2017 17:46

Should she insist her children accompany her around the house whilst cooking, tidying, sorting laundry so they are never out of her sight?

That is what I did when I realised 3yo dd was not safe to be left with her baby brother. (obviously couldn't rehome him) It's what you have to do: either that or rehome the kittens.

JustCallMeKate · 27/05/2017 17:59

throwing the kitten, holding/lifting by paws, putting in laundry basket and closing lid

I'm actually speechless you deem this behaviour as being "rough'`. It's bloody animal abuse and YOU allowed this to happen. Do the right thing for these poor, defenceless animals and have them rehomed as a matter of urgency. Throwing a kitten? Lifting them by the paws? Closing them in small spaces? This is despicable behaviour and extremely worrying that you actually had to ask on here how to deal with this. IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Lottielottie42 · 27/05/2017 18:07

Rehome , quite disturbed behaviour . My DD was 3 when we got the cat and she's always been very gentle and loving to them. Poor kittens

Lottielottie42 · 27/05/2017 18:29

And she has ASD,hate how every time some kind of awful behaviour is spoken about it's suddenly autism!

Chestervase1 · 27/05/2017 18:35

I'm with DameDiazapam Keep the kittens and re- home the kids

Fragglez · 27/05/2017 18:46

I had an aquaintence many years ago whose young child killed their cat's kittens by 'cuddling' (squeezing) them too tight and one she knocked down the stairs while playing a game. She didn't mean to hurt them, just didn't understand and had zero parental supervision.

Your children are being malicious. This is not innocent misunderstanding. Please please rehome the kittens asap.

They are tiny and defenceless, you need to protect them before they are hurt or killed. Imagine if they think to put them in the washing machine or the loo.

I know no one wants to think badly of their kids, but this is serious, I'm sorry.

CaptainBrickbeard · 27/05/2017 18:54

OP, lying is not only a normal developmental stage but I think it's actually an important and necessary one - kids develop the ability to do it as they start to realise that other people have their own separate minds and don't know everything the child knows. My 3yo lies - if I say he can't have a biscuit he will tell me that daddy said he could have one or if he doesn't want a bath he will pretend granny gave him one earlier (even if he hasn't seen granny that day ) Please do realise that six is in no way too young to lie, or that lying is disastrous in itself or indicative of terrible moral development.

I wonder if from what you've described, the six year old wanted the kitten to sleep in his room so put it in a box when it wandered in after bedtime? And then realised how wrong this was when you discovered it and lied in a panic? The 3yo being rough with the kitten may not be malicious. Stopping the mistreatment is vital but I don't know that your children are displaying psychopathic tendencies - but they need educating and to learn empathy and it obviously can't be at the expense of vulnerable animals.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 27/05/2017 18:58

Children learn by example, have YOU been nice to the kittens? Stroked them? Played with them? Have you told your 'D'c that they are only babies and they are living things and can feel pain? Sod the naughty step I'd be bloody shouting at them!
I'd seriously think about taking your children to the Doctors because that is not normal behaviour. Do they have teddy bears/dolls - how do they treat them?
As for thinking a 6 year old is incapable of lying - I'm absolutely speechless

happyhebe · 27/05/2017 18:59

Rehome the kittens and then get advice about your children's behaviour - is it usual for them to be aggressive and violent?

Fragglez · 27/05/2017 19:21

Thread didn't load past page 1. Have now rtft and stand by my earlier comment.

OP i see you intend to return the kittens, I'm so relieved. I know this will not be a pleasant thread to come back but please could you confirm when you return them? I genuinely feel sick thinking about them being hurt, and would love to know for sure that they are safe.

I would make it very clear to the kids, after the kittens have been returned, that they have gone because they were not safe because of the kids being nasty. That it's never ok to be like that and that you are very disappointed and angry.

Hopefully that will make it clear to them that it is serious.

Do you have friends or family with good natured adult dogs / cats that would let you take the kids to meet them (under strict supervision) and learn how to treat them nicely?

ILikeyourHairyHands · 27/05/2017 20:05

I do think the calls of 'disturbed children' and 'future psychopath' are a bit bloody much.

Yes, it's not great and OP has admitted as much, she came here for advice ffs!

I'm from a family that has always had animals, we treat them very well, we did however get a kitten when one of my DBros was three and he was an utter bugger to it, putbit in the freezer, shut it up in a sofa bed, we rehomed the kitten as it obviously wasn't a good fit but my bro is now an upstanding and fine 37 year old, who to my knowledge has not followed on from his earlier misdemeanors.

The comments on here are pretty fucking brutal for what I would consider not an ideal situation that clearly needs addressing as it's obviously unhappy all round, but to have so many of you blasting her so soundly is unhelpful, to say the Fucking least.

FreeNiki · 27/05/2017 20:17

I do think the calls of 'disturbed children' and 'future psychopath' are a bit bloody much.

I dont. We arent talking about being accidentally too rough but putting an animal in a box with the lid on in your bedroom and leaving it there for over an hour. Ditto the laundry basket.

What child would want to do that? It's a very specific cruel and sinister thing to do trapping it in a box.

One of my exes was an abusive cunt to me. As a child he painted his hamster blue and washed it killing it. Regularly tortured his dads cat and it hated him. On an adventure weekend with a shooting range as a young teenager an animal made its way onto the range and he deliberately shot it and the rubber bullet killed it. He to that day thought it was funny.

Almost everyone has said that such cruelty to animals the ops children is not normal and it isnt. I wouldn't be surprised, if the behaviour is not addressed, that cruelty moves on to people as they age as it did with my ex. My ex couldn't grasp that i or anyone else existed other than to suit him.

FreeNiki · 27/05/2017 20:19

Hairyhands your brother was 3 and one of the OPs children is SIX!

At that age the behaviour is appalling.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/05/2017 20:21

I agree with ILikeYourHairyHands to a certain degree.

I do think the behaviour of OP's children is not nice at all, uncaring but maybe also unthinking and of course lacking in maturity, eg it looks like a toy, so it's ok to pick up by the paws, or lock in a laundry basket or treat as a toy which of course it's not.

Maybe the kids need it spelling out, how would they like it if they were picked up wrongly or locked somewhere they couldn't get out from.

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