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Original poster

Kids being cruel to new kittens

188 replies

maggiethemagpie · 26/05/2017 23:47

We've just got two kittens and our children, 6 and 3 keep manhandling them and on two occasions have trapped them in enclosed spaces deliberately. I'm not sure of the best way to deal with this as we've told them a million times to be gentle, and used naughty step when we've caught them being rough.
Eg - throwing the kitten, holding/lifting by paws, putting in laundry basket and closing lid.

Final straw was tonight when one kitten went missing and i heard it mewing and found it in a box in the kids room with the lid on, in quite an enclosed space and it had been there at least an hour.

Don't know how to get them to stop- wwyd?

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strawberrypenguin · 27/05/2017 09:51

Not normal behaviour from your children at all. I would be concerned that they thought that was ok at all and especially after being told no.
Can't believe you seem quite so relaxed about them throwing a kitten tbh.
And no it's not age I have a 5 and 1 year old. The 5 year old is incredibly gentle with our cat and even the 1 year old doesn't try to grab at the cat anymore - because we've taught him not to.

ijustwantfiveminutespeace · 27/05/2017 09:51

Kids are jealous of love n affection kittens are getting.

Topseyt · 27/05/2017 10:01

Your children's behaviour is a complete and utter disgrace. They could cause very serious injury or death to those poor kittens by throwing them.

It would also have been possible for the kitten trapped in the box to have suffocated or overheated.

I am glad you are hopefully rehoming the kittens. I really hope you do. Tell the children straight that it is because of their disgusting behaviour. Come down on them like a ton of bricks. Absolutely read the riot act and drill it into their skulls what they have done, why it is wrong and the effect it has.

Don't hold back and soften this up. So what if they cry. They fully deserve everything they get. Exactly what do any of you think those poor kittens would have felt like??

Six is a perfect age for lying. My DD1 wrote her name on the wall when she was 6 and then tried to tell me it was her 3 year old sister, who couldn't yet even write.

I am not a fan of wishy washy parenting, and certainly with the lives of two defenceless kittens there is no room for it here.

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Topseyt · 27/05/2017 10:05

No, ijust, the kids think the kittens are toys and have been allowed to get away with that. It is lax parenting.

ilovesooty · 27/05/2017 10:05

I'm having trouble imagining how you passed the home inspection in the first place.

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 27/05/2017 10:07

They are treating them like toys, not living beings. I agree with others, the kittens have to go back.

findingmyfeet12 · 27/05/2017 10:17

Why have you allowed this to happen on more than one occasion?

I feel sick at the though of those kittens being terrified of your children and being left alone at their mercy.

endofthelinefinally · 27/05/2017 10:28

I think the op has probably got the message now.
I hope you manage to get some appropriate support op.

Greenkit · 27/05/2017 10:29

If you have got these kittens for your children , then I don't think they are old enough and are clearly not showing empathy to these animals.

If you got these kitten to be your pets, then you need to be very firm with the children, they do not touch the kittens unless you are in the room with them and they sit on the sofa and be gentle.

They are not to go upstairs or out of your sight with them at all, ever.

If you cant commit to this, and it will be bloody hard work with two young children as well, then return them.

LouHotel · 27/05/2017 10:37

Rehome and i would take your kids to reascue centre to gently educate them on how we should loom after animals. More your 6 year old than 3 year old to be honest.

I dont think its normal to be locking kittens away. My brother was a nasty piece of work when he was a little boy but he would never harm animals.

SouthWestmom · 27/05/2017 10:52

When we got a young cat (centre wouldn't allow kittens due to age of my dc) one of the dc was 3 and terrified of the cat. Had he been left to it I can imagine him trapping the cat in a box to keep it away from him, or panicking and throwing it if it went near him. Obviously this didn't happen as we supervised Cat and kids.

However I don't think the iOS dc sound like psychopaths - is it possible they are scared of or don't like the kittens?

gamerchick · 27/05/2017 10:53

Im not going to give you a kicking OP. When our cat came to live with us (by accident, I never wanted one) it quickly became apparent that my youngest couldn't be trusted alone with her until he understood she wasn't a toy (asd very emotionally immature). It took 9 months of constant supervision and I mean constant. I knew where that cat or that child was at any given time right to the point of sitting him on the freezer in the kitchen while I cooked.

It took lots of play, feeding, kindness before he got on the beam. But in a way I'm glad because it's automatic with all animals now.

If you can't put the work in which tbh I would weep at the thought of doing all that again twice fold then you probably should return them.

LuluJakey1 · 27/05/2017 11:02

The problem is your children. They sound quite disturbed. You should not have pets. Cruelty to animals is an early sign of extreme psychological problems. Have they ever started a fire? That is another one. Find the kittens a home where they will be safe and loved - not just dumped at a shelter- and see your GP and ask for a referral to a clinical psychcologist for your children.

EweAreHere · 27/05/2017 11:05

With all due respect, I despair of parents like you. I work in a primary school, and the number of parents who think their children would never lie, would never do naughty things ... because they are too young ... the mind boggles.

Take a parenting class. Please. Spend a couple of days volunteering in a Reception class and on playground supervision. That should open your eyes to what even normally well-behaved children can be like.

theconstantinoplegardener · 27/05/2017 11:08

I think the OP is getting a hard time here. She recognises that her children's behaviour is wrong and she's come to get advice about it. It must be difficult to supervise two kids and two kittens constantly - the kittens are presumably too young to go outside and they will be full of energy and keen to explore the house, so I don't think it's surprising that one was missing for an hour before she noticed. She probably assumed it was curled up asleep somewhere - that's not unreasonable.

That said, the children cannot be allowed to treat the kittens in this way any longer. I think there are two issues here - one being that your children don't seem to be listening to what you say and the other being animal cruelty.

For the first, I would explain to them that if there is one more instance of unkind behaviour (and spell out what this means), they will be rehomed. And stick to it - no excuses. They need to learn that you mean what you say and that there are consequences to their bad behaviour. Try to apply natural consequences to all undesirable behaviour, consistently. If they draw on the wall, then they help you clean it off. If they are not ready for school on time, they go in their pyjamas, etc. This can be effective in helping children learn to listen to you.

With regard to their lack of empathy to the kittens, I personally don't think you need to take them to the GP but they do need more guidance. Other posters have suggested things up thread and I don't have more to add except perhaps supervised encounters with various animals, talking about how animals feel fear and pain etc just like we do, reading them stories about animals encountering difficult situations and talking about how the animals may feel. "Smudge's Day Out" by James Herriot is a nice one for this.

chemenger · 27/05/2017 11:40

The OP is getting a hard time because she has neglected two tiny, defenceless kittens and condoned repeated cruelty by not punishing or preventing it. The only creatures that deserve a second chance are the kittens which need to be rehomed or returned to the rescue today. Then she can deal with her children's behaviour problems.

ilovesooty · 27/05/2017 11:48

I can't believe someone's making excuses for the OP. She's getting a hard time because she's guilty of neglect. If she couldn't supervise the kittens she shouldn't have got them.
And again - where is her partner's responsibility in this?

Dragongirl10 · 27/05/2017 11:55

op if you really do want advice here are my pet rules in my home:

Never trust or leave kids unsupervised

Know where pets are at all times

Any child coming to my house to play, is told firmly on entering that my lovely gentle dog will not hurt anyone, but will sniff and lean on them for stroking.
They are not to shout, scream, poke or twist his ears or pull his tail...if they do not obey, l will call their parents to collect them. (In the past l have witnessed a horrible child twisting hard my large Weimaraners soft ears untill she was wimpering in pain and cowering)
To teach my own children when very young, l showed then how to gently pick up a small animal, stroke it and put it down without hurting or frightening it...
l also made it very clear they are NOT toys and must never be restrained, held tightly etc
.I explicitly explained they feel pain, get scared, and asked how would they like a giant to do x if they were that small etc.

I have never had to repeat this for my children, but others who visit are occasionally very cruel and l come down on then like a ton of bricks. My son almost got hit by a group of kids in our local park as they were throwing stones at a cat and he told them he would call the police!

EachandEveryone · 27/05/2017 11:57

Find them good homes. Where are you based?

ilovesooty · 27/05/2017 12:11

I wouldn't imagine the OP would know a good home. They need professional rehoming.

theconstantinoplegardener · 27/05/2017 12:18

But realistically, how do you supervise two kittens and two kids, all day long? Genuine question. Should OP take the kittens to the toilet with her or the shower? Should she insist her children accompany her around the house whilst cooking, tidying, sorting laundry so they are never out of her sight? I'm not making excuses for the OP but I can see how the children and the kittens might find themselves together and unsupervised at times.

ilovesooty · 27/05/2017 12:23

I don't care how it's done. If you can't be a responsible parent and pet owner you don't get pets.

Wolfiefan · 27/05/2017 12:29

FFS. You got a pets that could live for over 20 years. How much thought did you actually give this? And then you just sent them back because your kids can't act in a humane way?
Don't get anymore pets. Ever.

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 12:30

I think you'd just have to ensure you're always in the same room as kittens or children or both.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/05/2017 12:33

You do need to reinforce the rule etc that animals are NOT toys, that they have feelings and feel pain, happiness, sadness etc and should be treated as animals.

My cat Tigger when I was about 5/6 and brother younger scratched me as I'd been "teasing" him. Not nasty just not leaving him alone. My mum was rightly angry with me as I'd been told to leave the cat alone when he wanted to be let alone or he could scratch. I was told it wasn't the cat's fault. Never a better lesson.

I did recall hearing from a best friend that she'd been unkind to her dog (teenager) and I had a real go at her saying it wasn't right. She was treated badly too so maybe that's why she was unkind. No excuse though really.