Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Kids being cruel to new kittens

188 replies

maggiethemagpie · 26/05/2017 23:47

We've just got two kittens and our children, 6 and 3 keep manhandling them and on two occasions have trapped them in enclosed spaces deliberately. I'm not sure of the best way to deal with this as we've told them a million times to be gentle, and used naughty step when we've caught them being rough.
Eg - throwing the kitten, holding/lifting by paws, putting in laundry basket and closing lid.

Final straw was tonight when one kitten went missing and i heard it mewing and found it in a box in the kids room with the lid on, in quite an enclosed space and it had been there at least an hour.

Don't know how to get them to stop- wwyd?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
CondensedMilkSarnies · 27/05/2017 01:52

It sounds like both the children are hurting the kittens and to make matters worse the 6 year old is blaming someone else.

Rehome the kittens and concentrate on teaching the children right from wrong.

MotherOfBleach · 27/05/2017 01:53

My child was born lying. It's in her blood. When she was three she tried to convince me the dog Sharpie'd her name on the white leather sofa.

Naturally, I didn't believe her, given that the dog was with me at the time the crime was committed.

You don't seem to be taking this seriously enough OP. This is not normal behavior for children or parent. You all need some support.

CherriesInTheSnow · 27/05/2017 01:54

Please let us know you're going to rehome the kittens :(

Would just like to echo others and say this behaviour is very worrying and you need to be taking better steps to intervene. Mainly by supervision (all baby animals should be supervised with kids around anyway).

Can you talk to someone externally about your children's behaviour? Shit would hit he fan if these were my DC and I would be very worried, worried enough to seek professional support from HV/GP/School.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Cats Families General parenting
Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 27/05/2017 01:58

We've not had behavioural problems with the kids to date. My son has had it drilled in to him now to gentle to the kitties or else they go back. My daughter is only 3 and she's a lovely sweet girl normally, gets on fine at nursery with the other kids so I can only think she hasn't quite appreciated that the kittens are real live animals not a toy.

Clearly, we will not leave her with them unsupervised going forward until she can behave better with them. They're not psycho kids I promise! Just not used to animals but they will be told we are returning the animals if they ever do that again.

OP posts:
SexandDrugsandaNiceCuppa · 27/05/2017 02:00

The 6 year old is not too young to lie, in my experience 5, 6 and 7 are the peak years for fibbing and exaggerating!!

MotherOfBleach · 27/05/2017 02:04

I'm hoping you meant 'they will not be given the opportunity to do this again'?

Young children and any animal should never be unsupervised. Certainly not for an hour at a time.

I do also think you should chat to your GP. While you promise your children are not psychos and given the extremely small number of people who suffer psychopathy I'm inclined to believe you, this is not normal behavior. On some level, something is going terribly wrong.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 27/05/2017 02:07

I remember my 2 year old sitting with the contents of my makeup bag in her lap , smothered in lipstick, blusher and eyeliner. I asked her if she'd been using it. She looked me in the eye and said no ! Trust me, kids lie!

I'd be watching both children like a hawk.

yayayahey · 27/05/2017 02:08

I follow gentle parenting. Positive parenting. I'm an 'attachment parent'.

I rarely say 'no' to my ds. I like to explain consequences and alternatives.

Dh and I are as hippy and laid back as it can get with our parenting.

If my ds threw a kitten, or was deliberately cruel he would catch the hard end of my temper he'd probably never see otherwise. After telling him nicely once and him not looking listening he would catch hell. If the slightest thing occurred after that the kitten would've gone. Anything less is cruel, neglectful and disgusting.

WillyWonkasChocolate · 27/05/2017 02:09

6 years is too young to lie? I think you might be a bit deluded about children and what they are capable of.
You need to take the rose tinted glasses off when it comes to your children's behaviour

yayayahey · 27/05/2017 02:09

And I NEVER let my ds who's 3.5 alone with any of our many animals.

yayayahey · 27/05/2017 02:11

6 is too young to lie?!

Dh and I were laughing just today as we took ds to a library story group and listened as he told a bunch of huge and very convincing lies to the teacher!! He's 3!

ColossalKalamari · 27/05/2017 02:13

They are throwing the kittens? I'm absolutely lost for words and I feel a bit sick...what is wrong with them that they would think that was ok? You need to consider if you can offer these kittens am adequate home, at the moment it doesn't sound like you can.you sound very blasé about it too, casual talk of the kittens being picked up by their paws and shut in boxes.

And of course 6 year olds can lie!

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 27/05/2017 02:14

Ok, I'm more than prepared to take action with my children to stop this happening again.

Sorry, but they have been perfectly normal kids up until now, so it's caught me by suprise and I would appreciate any advice in terms of how to deal with this, other than rehome the kittens.

Clearly we will not leave them unsupervised again. Tonight, the kids had gone to bed and one of the kittens went in their room and was put in the box, we were not keeping an eye on the kittens all the time after kids bed time but maybe we should.

OP posts:
ColossalKalamari · 27/05/2017 02:18

Why not consider the kittens welfare rather than whether or not you want pets? Do you think your casual attitude to the abuse your children are being allowed to dole out to the kittens is going to result in well adjusted, happy cats?

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 27/05/2017 02:19

Are you saying to return them?

OP posts:
CondensedMilkSarnies · 27/05/2017 02:20

Yes you should !! Just because they have been 'normal kids' up to now means nothing . They are displaying abnormal behaviour now.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 27/05/2017 02:20

Yes , I would.

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 02:21

Where did the kittens come from, OP?

Have you had pets before?

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 27/05/2017 02:21

Ok, they are going back. I'm phoning the rescue centre in the morning. You're right, they do not deserve pets until they can behave kindly to them.

OP posts:
CondensedMilkSarnies · 27/05/2017 02:22

It would be different if this was a one off but its not. You are doing the right thing.

MotherOfBleach · 27/05/2017 02:24

We were not keeping an eye on the kittens all the time after kids bed time but maybe we should

I'm going to come across all nitpicky here, which is something I despise, but maybe? Really?

Op, I gettit, you dun fucked up, admitting that the kids had unfettered access to kittens enough to commit cruelty at all, let alone more than once, but the fact that it happened repeatedly? And you still don't seem overly concerned?

Something is going very, very wrong in your house.

Parenting is tough, I've struggled myself. Sometimes you have to reach out for help. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

You and your kids need that help, I'm not saying they're 'psychos', statistically speaking they're probably not but help is needed.

This isn't right, that you allowed it to happen more than once isn't right. I'm sorry for seeming harsh, you might have a lot more going on than we realise but you do need to seek support.

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 02:24

Maggie, it's not about them deserving pets, they aren't toys to be withdrawn as a punishment but for their own safety.

Maybe you just didn't word that well?

My youngest is two in July. She is possibly similar to your little girl in that she doesn't necessarily understand the difference between cuddling her toy duck and cuddling one of the cats, but it's my job to absolutely drill into her that cats are living creatures, and it isn't just physical pain they feel but also distress, anxiety and anguish. Your pets are only kittens and will be looking to your family for affection and companionship.

Do you think one of your children may have autism? (Someone mentioned this coming up when they did a search, I think?)

user1495847783 · 27/05/2017 02:26

Kittens are surprisingly tough. As long as you make sure your 3 year old really knows that she's in real trouble and is told that you'll return the cat if she ever does anything like that again, then I'm sure she can learn.

How is the cat - does it seem freaked out? If it's ok, then probably no harm done.

Perhaps don't ever leave her alone with the cat until you fully trust her. She will learn I'm sure.

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 02:28

It's really not great to leave toddlers unsupervised with cats.

It's unusual for a family pet to claw and scratch but if they are frightened then they are unpredictable.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 27/05/2017 02:31

I'm concerned that you think children don't lie. They are masters at it. You need to open you eyes a bit before your son realises he can get away with it and you daughter becomes resentful at being blamed for things she hasn't done .