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Original poster

Feel silly talking to my newborn.

30 replies

Herbie22 · 20/05/2017 18:37

I feel a bit embarrassed writing this.
I feel silly talking/singing to my newborn. Especially when I am at home by myself. When my family are around DD they sing and talk to her and it seems to come so naturally. I feel like I'm talking to myself when I'm talking to her :-(. Now everyone is back at work it's going to be just me and DD for most of the day so I need to get talking! Any tips?
Ps I do talk to her. Like when I'm changing her or when she is upset. I just feel silly doing it!

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Alisvolatpropiis · 20/05/2017 18:40

I felt like this too, so you're not alone!

TeddyIsaHe · 20/05/2017 18:42

Yes felt like that for ages, now dd is 4 months I think I drive her mad with how much I yabber on to her! It gets less embarrassing as it becomes more normal, but I really remember vividly how awkward and weird I felt talking to her in the beginning.

VikingLady · 20/05/2017 18:43

I felt like that. It's totally normal! A very helpful EYP at a baby group advised me to "fake it til you make it" - keep doing it til it feels normal.

Narrating what you're doing, chatting at them about what to have for dinner, general stream of consciousness stuff. You feel totally ridiculous until you don't!

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FatLittleWombat · 20/05/2017 19:47

I felt like this too! 2.5 years in and now I can't shut up fake it till you make it is great advice. Just try it out at home. In the beginning, you don't need to talk to her if there's someone else listening and you feel too uncomfortable. Cuddles and kisses are a great substitute! You'll get there after a few months!

Anditstartsagain · 20/05/2017 21:24

It's wierd to talk to someone who doesn't respond I found it was easier when they started to smile and coo back at me. I don't speak to my kids constantly I just mention things a constant stream of chatter would drive me crazy.

tissuesosoft · 20/05/2017 21:27

Felt strange for me too at first but it helped with the loneliness side (DP works long hours). Poor DD had a pretty much constant stream of chatter from me about anything and everything which probably explains why she is such a chatterbox now.

Eeeeek2 · 24/05/2017 18:09

I felt like this so made an effort to so one day I'd sing songs not all nursery songs. Another day I'd narrate what I was doing so here is your vest shall we put it on? Or name object that's a flower, kettle, dog etc.

Wonderflonium · 24/05/2017 18:15

the hv said to start out by talking the baby through what was happening at changing time, so they start to help out by lifting up their bums and cooperating with their arms. I felt a bit self conscious too and didn't have much to say but it's got a lot easier once she started smiling at me when I started talking to her. Sucker for positive reinforcement ;)

Amethyst975 · 24/05/2017 18:17

Yes, I felt silly chatting to my DS when he was tiny. Partly because I'm not a natural chatterbox and partly because I was only too aware he hadn't a clue what I was blethering about.

I told myself it was the very first stage of teaching him to speak and understand eventually, and I also knew it would be good for him just to recognise my voice. Worked for me anyway!

HeyRoly · 24/05/2017 18:19

You get used to it

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/05/2017 18:26

I think its kind of a myth that you have to talk to your baby. Certainly you don't need to keep up a constant chatter.
It is important that you interact with him. But this can mean eye contact, responding to his Cry's and vocalisations etc..
One study found that mothers instinctively stroke the cheek of a baby when they make a consonant sound they haven't done before- and that brings on language. Without the mother making so much of a sound.
So please don't worry if it doesn't feel natural to talk at your baby. I didn't really, at least until they were making noises of their own worth responding to. They're both great talkers now.

lovelyleftrubbishright · 24/05/2017 18:30

Yes, yes, yes, I felt like this too!
I think that it IS quite unnatural to chatter away to a newborn, especially when they are still in 'the forth trimester.'
You'll find as the goos and gaas start to come it will feel more and more natural talking to them.
For what it's worth, I decided to not beat myself up for not talking to infant DD when it didn't feel right to. Now she's just 2 and she's well ahead with her speech and I don't stop talking to her 6.30am - 6.30pm because I don't have a choice! 'Mummy, what you doin'', 'Mummy, whas that called?', 'Mummy, where Daddy gone?' ALL DAY LONG!

kel1493 · 24/05/2017 18:33

I agree. I chat to my lb all the time. In home on my own with him most days with no other company until dh gets home. He's all I have to talk to. I even have a chat to my cat as well..

Whatsername17 · 24/05/2017 18:52

I narrate what we are doing. It does feel silly, until they start to smile and laugh and you suddenly don't care how daft you sound because you get a smile!

ScarlettFreestone · 24/05/2017 18:58

It's important for your baby to hear your voice. If you find it really difficult why not start off reading to her or singing to her.

kingfishergreen · 24/05/2017 19:01

Singing was the answer for me, I sang everything. I am a horrible singer, poor DD.

ememem84 · 24/05/2017 19:02

Currently pregnant and was thinking about this the other day. But then realised when I'm home alone I talk to the cat. So not much different really...right....?

AgentOprah · 24/05/2017 19:06

I didn't talk to either of my newborns tbh, or at least not constantly! Didn't know it was a requirement.

Once they start being a bit more interactive you will naturally respond to them.

AceholeRimmer · 24/05/2017 19:10

I felt the same OP, everyone was so natural with him and I felt daft! But soon I became good at it It took longer to get used to doing it when taking him out for a walk in public.. it feels really weird to talk and not get a response or bounce off someone. I felt like I was saying silly things! Now I'm on my second and it feels so natural.

Fragglez · 24/05/2017 19:10

I felt like this too, i started off with singing my favourite songs to her, that seemed easier because i often sing along to music on my own (not with company - the cat has a better voice than me!)

Grammar · 24/05/2017 19:24

I felt exactly like you do, I found myself talking in a sing song voice about courgettes...God that did it.
I just stopped doing all the stuff they tell you to. I just tried to be natural, but it's hard!
She didn't seem to suffer though, crap mum, Dad working hard so didn't see/interact much (though great, and better than me, when he was), normal, state school education, now Chinese at Cambridge.
Don't get too hung up on what they say you 'should' do'. Keep it natural, and REALLY don't take to heart what they say, Your DC will be fine! Trust me, I've had 3 (very different) and have never done this talking stuff, great, if it comes naturally, not important if it doesn't.
You're still a great mother!

BenjaminLinus · 24/05/2017 19:48

I couldn't do the silly simple voice and 'baby' words that a lot of people use, it was more of a commentary of what was going on or was going to happen.

pipnchops · 24/05/2017 19:55

I feel the opposite of this, I talk non stop to my DDs (baby and toddler) as if they're my best pals! I don't use baby language at all, I literally just talk to them like I would an adult. It keeps me sane! I talk to myself a lot too. Hmm, not so sane! As a result my two year old is such a chatterbox and has an amazing vocabulary, I've trained her up as my taking buddy!

pipnchops · 24/05/2017 19:56

*talking buddy

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 24/05/2017 19:57

I used to be like this too! Dd is nearly 3 now and I'm all manor of stupid with her. all manor of stupid with myself too but that's a whole other story

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