Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

[manuka]

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

MIL, on visiting from abroad, when my dh had left me and dd 2, looked around our rented home, and pointed out well 'you 've got all this, he hasnt got anything',
(ffs)
I looked at her incredulously, said what, 'oh you mean i have a sofa, a tv, a table, a fridge and a washing machine'

oh goody gumdrops after ten yrs of marriage!!!

That makes up for it then, I have no dosh no transport and have been dumped!! But I can sit down watch tv and keep clean.

hk78-what is cp?

CP cerebral palsy

About my dh (her ds2) - "never forgiven him for being a boy - i wanted a daughter - he was such a mistake"

About my dd2 - "i wanted a grandson,not another granddaughter"

on looking at my engagement ring "you don't get much for your money these days do you?"

to my mum and dad when discussing wedding arrangments "your daughter is evil, she should have xxx as bridesmaids (her nieces on her side) rather than xxx (mixture of BOTH families). strange how my parents would never have her in their house again.

to my mum about my dh (then boyfriend) "she's going out with the wrong son you know, ds1 is much nicer than ds2". how wrong she was when in hospice her ds2 didn't visit for 6 weeks when we all knew she terminally ill.

1. me, admiring an engagement ring left by granny to my dh's younger brother: 'xxx will make a girl very happy with that one day.'

mil - 'oh, it's not the sort of thing to give to a wife as that way it might not stay in the family.' (niiiiiice thing to say as dh and i had just got married!)

1. (when we spent hundreds of pounds on plane flights to tell her face to face i was pg with her first grandchild) - 'i feel disappointed that you didn't tell me sooner...i told my mother on the phone as soon as it was confirmed' (bear in mind i was only 7 weeks gone and had told my own mum the day before) later she said she 'didn't feel old enough to be a grandmother (dh and i are in our early 30's).

1. when i saw her this weekend 'my goodness, you are putting on weight'. i was a bit thrown by this - am 5 1/2 months pregnant and haven't balooned or anything, so i just said 'what?' and she said 'ha ha ha, as in, that's not weight, it's a baby....' whatever she meant, what a bloody [hm] thing to say to a pregnant woman! tsk!

needless to say, i meant !

Can't remember them all but do remember her calling me by my DH's ex-girlfriend's name the first time we met.

More recently we were staying with them and I was up all night dealing with my 6 week old baby who was suddenly crying alot more than usual - the next morning I was exhausted and worried about dd and was met with - oh please don't worry, it didn't keep us awake atall. Grrr....!

sugarmagnolia, your mum sounds v.similar to my mum! she is an endless source of frustration/amusement
inanidealworld: cp=cerebral palsy
and on that subject: my mum and her pearls of wisdom on dd1 having cp

'is it your fault because you didnt have the cut?'
(she means episiotomy, can't you tell she gave birth in the 1970's and never got over it!) errr...no, no-one mentioned doing that!

(on first telling her 'oh no what will i tell my dad?' err...what about dd1 and her life?

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on other subjects:

(on telling her i'd been accepted into university
"well, your dad had a vasectomy when you were 12 because i couldn't go through it again"
eh? (she left school at 15 with no qualifications, needs to put me down at every opportunity)

(sitting on sofa with my then boyfriend when i was 15 and all done up ready to go on a special night out)
"you're about to start your period aren't you, i can tell because it makes your breath smell"

(on asking her if she wants to come to the big shopping mall with me)
"you can't drive on the motorway"
(she can't drive anywhere cos she cant pass her test)

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you can see our relationship is great

Message withdrawn

When my DS was 6 weeks old, we went to MIL's for dinner. We were sitting down eating dessert when she got up and started feeding ice-cream to DS!! When I tried to protest, she said "Your child needs to get used to different tastes"!!
Of course they do, but you don't want them getting addicted to sugary foods so soon!

lol at that one lady - mine shoved rock (they had jsut been on holiday) into my 3 month old and couldn't understand why i flew across room to remove it!!!!

blimey, shoemania, what a MIL! I didn't know people like this existed! Nutter... definitely best avoided. Well done to you.

I'm a hospital paramedic, and (when I was 4 months pregnant with DD1) I was after working 24-hours on-call - and it had been brutally busy. I'd been running all night and doing a lot of heavy lifting, was absolutely exhausted but at 9am had to get in my car and collect DS (then aged 18 months and very active) from MIL's house (I had to mind him myself for rest of the day!). Told MIL about my brutal day and night - she told me to put DS in a buggy and go out for a 2-mile walk "and make it a brisk walk because the exercise is good for you"!!!!!! Even thinking about minding DS was too much exercise for me at that moment!

"keep her away from all the other children, you never know what she might pick up!"

• when telling mil i was planning on going to a post natal group.

Any wonder that her own dd, age 24, still lives at home and can't even make her own dr's appointments or organise her own car insurance?

lol, Cathcart! What are you supposed to do when your DD starts playschool, give her an oxygen bubble????

I do believe she would applaud this idea! (seriously)
Today I took my dd to see some of the children at a special needs school where my friend is a teacher, before going mil rang and reminded me to 'don't let them near her!' !

Last night on phone
"how's your pms? I think you need a hysterectomy"
Bit extreme i thought

Last weekend - Boys 1st birthday, inlaws round for tea. I was in ktchen making said tea and in teh living room but could hear boy grizzling , whinging in hungrey wheres mum mode and MiL saying " shut it Boy, just shut it, shut it, why don't you shut it" . I was quietly fumming till i came round corner and realised she was encourageing him to play with the door.

my dad came out with the classic (you haven't tried very hard to lose the baby weight yet have you?"

DD was 6 days old

my MIL is a dream and i would love to be like her. My FIL lives on a different planet.

Before having children, i was a small 8 (now a 10) and was eating a packet of crisps....he told me to stop before i got as fat as his wife ! Charming

When bf my newborn he made comments like "bf is definately the best thing for babies as the milk is at the right temperature and it comes in such lovely packaging" ! WTF?

Shinypeople, What a wally your FIL is! Sounds like himself and Prince Philip would get on like a house on fire. How your MIL puts up with him I don't know.

A bit of background: My DP has a brother & sister. My DP & I had been living together for 10 years when MIL said this, when I was sitting right next to her, at DP's brother's wedding.
MIL to her new daughter-in-law: ' Oooh, now I've got 2 daughters...'
Obviously I'm not classed as a 'proper' daughter as DP & I aren't married

The day before our wedding MIL "He's a good boy, you won't nag him will you?"

my xMIL told me that I shouldn't have phoned the police when her son broke my nose... cos apparently.. and I quote:

"your nose will heal, his criminal record won't!"

WTF?????

she has a point......ho hum.

My dad says such clueless things sometimes - when my step-brother's wife had a baby girl last year he rang me to say "it's the 1st little lady in the family" - hello? what about me and my 2 girls? He also came to stay with me a few months back and arrived very late. On our way up to bed he said I could have a lie-in in the morning as there was nothing to get up for. When I said the kids would wake me up anyway (and it was a school night!) he honestly said - "oh I forgot you had children"

Not being funny canmummy, but has he got some form of Dementia and is living in the past???