Worst thing your toddler has got up to unsupervised

[MiaWallace]

Following on from the thread about leaving toddlers to play unsupervised -

What is the worst thing yours has got up to when unsupervised?

Dd managed to get a tub of emulsion out of a cupboard with a safety lock on it, somehow got the lid of the tub, and then proceeded to smear the emulsion all over the stair carpet and banister.

What tales of destruction have you got?

Bubble bath poured down the toilet, then the toilet was flushed "to see what would happen mummy".
DS1 once managed to put all my pegs in the whasing machine and somehow turn it to spin cycle.
DS1 also took a box of Tampax outside and started throwing them over the fence into next doors garden
"would you like an ice lolly Hannah" he said whilst doing it. there is nothing more embarassing than having to go and knock on someones door and ask for your Tampax back

when my dd2 got out of her cot aged about 20 months, climbed into her wardrobe which has slatted doors and covered herself and the complete inside of the wardrobe with sudocream. when i went to get her up and couldn't see her (cause she had closed the door on the wardrobe) i had a slight panic, then found her with a big white face and a smile to match!!! must confess i did run down to get camera to take a photo

saltire, DS has an obsession with my tampons, he finds any I have in my bag for work pulls them out and goes aorudn with one in his mouth like a big cigar!

ate her own poo (at 10 months)
lovely

DS got the squirty tomato sauce out of the fridge when he was aged 2 and squirted it down the radiators! It's still there 4 years later all dried up and a browny colour and thankfully has no odour anymore!

This thread is hilarious!

Found DD standing in the toilet once

"splash splash mummy" she said as I walked in. She had put her wellies on first!

My DD1 cut one small snip in every piece of clothing in my wardrobe.

And the duvet cover.

And the curtains.

She was mightily pissed off that DD2 had arrived.

Then there was the night that DS1 managed to get a hold of some vaseline and smeared it every where. Remarkably he never tried to eat it.

DS1 also phoned the police several times. They phoned me back
"Hello Mrs saltire, it's cambridge Constabulary here, are you ok"

I thought, how nice, DH is away and they are phoning to check up on me.

"Good they said, because we have had several silent phone calls from this number and we were worried. Could you move your phone out the way of your child?"

I had similar calls from Fife constabulary when DS2 got older

LOL at these esp. IGW's being locked out in a not very discreet nightie and big boots.

Ds has done the usual Andrex puppy stuff/drawn on walls and the TV/got bath emollient all over himself and the bathroom (floor was slippy for ages, that stuff is impossible to get off).

Worst thing was, when he was at the crawling stage he was investigating one of the cupboards in the kitchen while I was heating a bottle. I thought, aw, he's picking up packets of cereal, no harm there. Only next time I turned round he was eating something... when he opened his mouth, there were blue grains in there. I didn't realise dh had left rat poison at the back of the cupboard (we have never had rats, previous owner had left it under the fridge so dh being amazingly stupid had put it at the back of a food cupboard). A call to NHS Direct and the national poisons unit and an A&E visit later we worked out either he hadn't eaten any or only a couple of grains.

Edam: OMG re Rat poison! - and phew!

DD2 has been priceless for naughty things. My particular favourite was when she re-decorated the walls, door and carpet in her bedroom of our beautiful new (rented) converted coachouse with an entire industrial-sized pot of Sudocrem. She then proceeded to cover herself in what was left. The funniest thing to behold was her ghosty white face with just two blinking little eyeholes as she gazed innocently up at me (she had just turned 2).

I myself was a dab hand at mischief. My piece de resistance was when I wrote numbers on the keys of my uncle's piano with red magic marker just so I knew what order to play them in. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there because I panicked when I couldn't wipe it off and used tipp-ex to cover it up thinking he wouldn't notice (He is a professional musician, it's not like he never played the piano). Boy, did I get a bollocking I would never forget. It didn't help that I was about 10 at the time...

Loving this thread, BTW.

dd1, 3.5 yo, never got up to anything naughty till recently. I think she climbed on a chair once

This one is my DH when he was a toddler - dismantled his bedside light when it was plugged in and blew himself across the room with the electric shock. When he told me this I asked what his parents had said and he replied that they still didn't know as he didn't tell them as he didn't want to be told off. Suddenly I reached a new depth of understanding about why they are always so smug and said he was the perfect child......

not exactly toddlers, but when dd was 4 i caught her and her friend licking each others bottoms 'to see what it tasted like!'

ha they will never live that one down!

DD1 has:

• look at the first 2 photos on my profile!

• smashed a dozen eggs all over the floor and in her just about to go to a party outfit she was doing the 'breaststroke' saying "look mummy mermaid swimming"

• taken last nights spag bol leftovers out of the fridge and smeared it all over herself and the cottage that we were staying in for the weekend

• made a paste withthe pot of cream cheese dip and bottle of water she had and painted her face and her hair with it

• taken a bowl of cold baked beans from the fridge on holiday, dipped both hands in and 'washed' her face and her hair.

• emptied all 9 packets of my mums cereals - museli, all bran etc into one large mountain which she was sat on and was throwing all over the kitchen saying 'look sand, sand, look!"

• made her dolls all have a swimming lesson - down the loo

• drawn all over the wall all the way down the stairs

Think that's about it!

oh and DD2 (14 months) -

• found her holding her poo and as I lunged towards her she quickly popped it in her mouth!

• and ate the cat food

At around 12 months when he had just mastered crawling, I had just popped into the kitchen to get his last bottle before bed, I came back into the lounge to find him eating something, I fished what I thought was a bit of fluff out of his mouth upon closer inspection it was a woodlouse, it must have crawled out of somewhere in front of him, because it wasn't there previously, I nearly threw up when I realised :shudder:

Last week he found a red lipliner from out of one of my bags, I was putting some washing away upstairs and had left him in front of ceebeebies, when I went back downstairs his legs and hands were covered, thankfully it was one of those twist up ones, so it ran out before he could get to anything else.

Used his toothbrush to clean the toilet seat/shower/floor, also put it in the plantpot then continued brushing his teeth, cue a very muddy smile.

Put my mobile phone in a hot cup of tea, that was the end of that.

Put a tv remote in the washing machine, I hadn't noticed and preceeded to do a full wash with it still in.

Switched off the freezer at the plug in the utilty room, I didn't notice for two days as it is a secondary freezer, lots of wasted food there.

Anyone would think I don't watch him

Oh and he is only 21mths old, so I am sure there will be plenty more to come

Emptied the cutlery from the dishwasher, neatly putting it back in the drawer... but it was still dirty!

Escaped out of the front door stark naked and crapped on the pavement outside the house.

DD1 (2.6) in the last month...
1.posted a rental DVD in the cracks between the floorboards.
2.Drew all over DD2's new little touch leapad

1. Flooded the bathroom

4.climbed on toilet, opened bathroom cabinet, got sunscreen and smeared it all over naked self.

1. and my favourite... in the time it took me to turn over the sausages in the oven and turn on the carrots to cook - smeared Metanium bum cream all over DD2's face - in eyes, nose mouth etc - having stuffed a bit of kitchen roll in her mouth first to keep her quiet!! Best (or maybe worst thing) DD2 laughing her little yellow head off as she worships DD1!! oh the joy of toddlerdom.

chubbleigh - loving your tale! what is it about toddlers and crapping everywhere but the potty! DD2 gets so much pleasure from crapping in her room, wardrobe, toy box etc

ds4yrs went out the front door at 8am in the morning and weed on the front porch .
When I asked him why he said it was because the toilet seat keeps falling down.

This threads hilarious.

DD has p*issed ON the dog. fed her poo TO the dog (dog loved it).

Smeared sun lotion all over television and all over herself including in her ladies bits and it stung for hours. Always smearing shampoo/toothpaste/diprobase all over carpets, mirrors, chairs, anywhere really.

Ate a worm.

Tried to change ds nappy.

ds (now 2.4)

-about a year or more ago managed to open his car window and chuck out his hat, bottle and a toy while I was driving (and I didn't notice till it was too late).

-sneaks into our room when we are sleeping and gets out any lotions, cosmetics I have and smears them all over himself and the room.

-Took his nappy off and covered himself and the cat in poo.

-Found he had posted all the money he could find down the cracks in the floorboards.

-Has hidden a red crayon, we still don't know where, but every so often these little drawings appear on the wall.