Worst thing your toddler has got up to unsupervised

[MiaWallace]

Following on from the thread about leaving toddlers to play unsupervised -

What is the worst thing yours has got up to when unsupervised?

Dd managed to get a tub of emulsion out of a cupboard with a safety lock on it, somehow got the lid of the tub, and then proceeded to smear the emulsion all over the stair carpet and banister.

What tales of destruction have you got?

[crispyduck]

fed the goldfish coffee, sugar and soap powder....poor fish, one died quickly and the other one lingered for days....

[ComeOVeneer]

Most recently ds has attacked my brand new beige sofa with a dark pink marker pen. DD cut her hair just after she had had her very first hair cut. It took 2 years to grow it out. DS put a hard back book into the washing machine, lost my car keys for 2 days, ate a snail, bust the dvd palyer and video (don't know how). DD sitting next to me when she was almost 3 watching me paint her bedroom, picked up a paint brush and proceeded to try and eat gloss paint.

Mind you as a child I wasn't much better. My mum caught me applying nailvarnish to my eyelids in an attempt to copy her doing her make-up

[JustSometimes]

Ds (then 10 months) came in from conservatory. Saw black 'thread' hanging from his mouth. 'What have you got in your mouth?' DS obliges Mummy by opening his mouth to reveal a semi-wriggling large black beetle.
I had to control the urge to scream and in an amazing feat of complete control I said: Oh, spit that out and I'll get you something else to eat'. He did. Happy chap; looked chuffed to bits!
Ugh - to this day I shudder.

[ElenyaTuesday]

Ds1 locked me out of the house when I answered the door holding his newborn brother - it was a guy selling gym membership which I calmly said no to (despite being locked out). I thought - it's okay, the windows are open, but then realised it was physically impossible for me to climb through the window whilst holding the baby. So I had to call back the gym guy and ask him to climb through the window and let me in - ds1 meanwhile is in hysterics, made worse by a strange man climbing through the window. What a day that was!!!

[Blu]

Posted all my credit cards down the floorboards.
Turned the washing machine dial from 'delicate, handwash' to 'boilwash'.

[Dophus]

I am crying with laughter - literally.

And I read the 'do you leave your toddler unsupervised?' with such derision. I leave mine unsupervised all the time and so far been lucky (apart fromt he usual biro/cat food type incidents) . Time to rethink...

[amyjade]

Dd2(21 months) fed her 8 week old brother a spoonfull of petit filous!!

[Kif]

Made salad dressing (yes, it seemed quite random to us too)

Wiped her bum. With a whole toilet roll. a rather charming mr. whippy effect spilling over the top of the bowl.

Unpotted all my plants (we quit plants for good that day)

Small fry

[izzybiz]

Well, I have many tales....

Covered the stair carpet in Sudocreme

Has managed to empty pasta and cereal all over the kitchen floor

Painted her cousins bedroom carpet with BLACK paint!

Painted our hallway with green paint

And only over this weekend, and this week so far she has

painted nannys spare room and bed in a rainbow of colours!

Drawn all over my living room floor with green and blue crayons

And this morning, poured baby shampoo all over herself and one sofa, and over the other sofa she had managed to get the milk from the fridge and pour that everywhere!

I need eyes in my ar"e!!
I only left her to get my clothes on!

She is 2.10.

[izzybiz]

Oooh, i forgot the toothpaste smeared over her bedroom carpet!

And covering herself in my makle up many times!

Come to think of it she is very quiet.....

[ellceeell]

crispyduck - dd2 fed smarties to the fish - that killed them all

[sunnyjim]

OD'd on phenagol - 19 months
smeared sudacream into my best suede handbag - 13 months
fallen off sofa and knocked himself unconsciuos - 8 months
eaten sudacream - continually
foudn scissors and a knife and played 'sharpening the knife like daddy does' - 20 months
pulled nappy off and poo'd on the floor - 21 months
Stood on my laptop to reach something and broken the laptop - 19 months

oh and lots of scribbles on walls and doors,

[bran]

That reminds me, my ds pounded the keys on my laptop so hard that one popped off when he was about 2 (dh was 'supervising' him) and I couldn't get it back on. Then the next day he was hitting the keys again and rotated the display through 90 degrees (so that I had to tilt my head to the right to view the screen). I had to bring my laptop in to work in the end and sweet talk the IT dept to fix it.

[joash]

Although not technically a toddler (aged 4 now), GS came downstairs last month whilst we were all sleeping...managed to get into what we thought was a childproof kitchen & emptied every sort of cleaning product you can imagine (washing up liquid, kitchen cleaner, degreaser, washing powder, fabric softener, window cleaner, etc etc) all over the kitchen flor and cupboards, all around the living room and leather sofa, up most of the stairs, himself from head to foot, as well as the dog and the cat.

Bear in mind he got through two locked gates, two locked doors and child locks on the cupboards!!!!!!!!!!!

[foxybrown]

oh this is so funny! Am crying with laughter

[juicychops]

ds covered the front room, kitchen, bathroom and stairs in polyfiller. Then following day did the same thing with porridge oats mixed with febreeze

[FrayedKnot]

DS has done the usual crayoning on the walls and tipping breakfast cereal all over the floor but nothing totally disastrous (not yet, anyway).

the yuckiest thing was when he had gone to bed for a nap and he had his Dizzy cement mixer with him.

It was obvious after half an hour that he wasn;t going to go to sleep - he was chatting & singing away to himself, so I went in to get him up, only to find he had done a poo and crammed it into Dizzy's mixer to "make cement"

[MiaWallace]

PMSL

I'm so glad I started this thread; I knew I couldn't be the only one with tales of destruction.

So how many on you will admit the incidents occurred while you were on MN?

[Nbg]

Adding to the purchase of the Ruby off ebay (please please dear mumsnetters, log out of any shopping site you use!)

DD has used up a full bottle of oil gel on her herself thinking it was soap.
Now that is a real bugger to wash off.

Eaten a tub of sudocreme. After a frantic call to NHS Direct, it isnt actually harmful.

Eaten the dogs dinner.

Drank the dogs water.

Somehow managed to call my old neighbours parents and have a lovely conversation with them about cake.

[ellceeell]

ds was about 10 months old. It was my birthday. I was feeling sorry for myself as we weren't doing any thing to celebrate. Left ds in living room while I answered the phone in the hall. Came back. ds had removed his nappy. Strong smell of poo. Couldn't find poo. Changed ds. Still strong smell of poo. Kept looking. Stopped looking. "shall we play with the duplo, ds?" Found poo. Yuck!
(It takes a long time to wash poo out of the crevices in duplo. )

[joash]

Gonna kill him ... I woke up at about 4.30 this morning to discover GS downstairs covering the cat in handwash liquid. He claims that when the cat waskes himself he doesn't use soap and now he can!!!!!!
Dont know whether to be bloody angry, or admire his logic.

[JustSometimes]

Tonight DS walked in from the kitchen with blood all over his hair and side of his head. DH and I panic with 'what the.....?' Rush to DS find the massive head injury is tomato puree from in the fridge and used it like cream on his face and hair.

[Sexonslightlypuffylegs]

Dd has phoned 999 twice
Covered herself and the walls in lipstick
covered her hair in vaseline

Joys!

[snig]

when i was out in the kitchen washing up my ds had climbed up onto our table to have a poo. I took a photograph of it so in years to come i can pull it out and go "look this is when you......"

[snig]

pmsl at justsometimes