help on reins

[user1489487523]

hello.
I'm doing a sociology project on the use of reins. I used them with y own daughter and thought they were great.
I'm looking at how many parents use them, where demographically they are used most and if you didn't use them why not?
Please could you comment on this post, and let me know.

Many thanks

I don't like using reins. Not for any reason I feel uncomfortable using them. I had no need for them for three of my four DC.
I did try them for DS2 as he hated the buggy and hated holding hands but he refused to walk when they were on him. He lay on the floor screaming trying to get them off. I persevered for a couple of weeks tried the back pack, traditional and wrist strap ones but it's impossible to make a toddler walk when they don't want to. I ended up carrying him screaming, putting him in the buggy screaming or not going out if the journey was non-essential. I tried stickers and other bribes but nothing worked.

Singing I too am totally taken aback by the strength of feeling elicited by reins! I honestly had no idea. I thought they were just a practical parenting solution.

Our DD is 20 months. We've used them since she could walk. It empowers her with the freedom to explore the world at her own pace. We live in London.

What a fucking arsehole of a parent I am hey!

I got some for my son when he was just starting to walk. We were going to visit family and I thought my MIL might be able to walk with him using them rather than holding his hand, which she'd struggle with due to mobility issues. As it turned out she didn't use them a lot, but he decided walking was for the birds and wanted to run everywhere, so it was useful having them as it meant he could run, but if he did fall we were able to catch him before he hit the ground too hard. We used them for a few more months, maybe up to 2 years of age. Had lots of parents comment (favourably) when we had a visit to the continent (Paris, I think) asking where they could get them from. He was still running everywhere and it meant (eg) he couldn't get lost in masses of people on the subway or hurt on the escalator.

I've a 2.5 year old and I use a wrist strap style one with him where I think if he ran off it could be dangerous, I also have a baby in a sling so I'm not as mobile to chase after him if needed

Never used them. DD1 was a bolter and walked at 10 months, but easy to manage as just one child. By the time DD2 came along DD1 had chilled out.

Would never judge someone for keeping their kid safe though. How sneery is that?

Should I add my "leafy suburb" credentials here?

Also, search for mrspresley, who lost a DC as her husband didn't think reins were necessary.

omg waeguk when you said "lost a DC" I was really hoping the child had run away and got lost temporarily due to lack of reins. Am so shocked and saddened to see the child in fact ran onto the road and died that poor poor woman, and his poor wee twin sister. Reins all the way if you want to, folks. Let it be a legacy for that poor little boy.

That's so sad. That's why our only other option would realistically be the buggy though. So I can't understand how people can judge parents for using reins, and why I don't at all feel bad about using them!

I and my brothers had reins when we grew up in Sweden in 60s. I suppose it was all those fir trees- not leafy enough.

I thought they were just a practical parenting solution.

And you'd be right. a few people have a strange attitude to them, thats all.

No, never used them. Never felt the need. Ds was an only child till he was 6, not a bolter, and we therefore had more time on our hands to teach him about danger. He either held hands or was strapped in his buggy. I can understand there could be a time and place for them for other parents though. I don't much like the wrist strap ones though, but it comes down to parental choice.

I thought about why I use reins today - standing next to DD the tips of my fingers just brush her shoulder - holding hands would be horrendously uncomfortable for one or both of us.

She prefers the relative freedom to a buggy/sling and is learning to wait too - win, win all around

Does anyone else feel like the OP dropped a grenade and then ran away?

Yep, that's why I tagged them to see if they'd come back. Thought not.

We used reins on our DD from around 18 months as she hated being strapped in the buggy once she was mobile. Also my husband is quite tall and she was tiny. I used the old fashioned style leather ones as I thought they looked cute. They were great as she had no sense of danger and it kept her safe near busy roads and in shopping centres etc. I don't see why they are controversial really as safety is paramount. Not that I cared what other people thought of my parenting style anyway!! We are in the West Country.

ah but have you ever seen the OP and goldfish in the same room?

I never really used them, but because I don't really walk anywhere and don't live in a built up area, not because I find them morally repugnant!

I'm in a leafy shire and occasionally use them with my 20 month old. I must be getting judged all the time.

My DS often hates the pushchair, has zero common sense and wants to walk not holding hands like he sees his older sibling doing. I'm not sure how slinging him would be better and less 'demeaning'? (We use slings a lot btw, just for different places etc).

I think reins are a totally odd thing to judge someone on. My older DC didn't need them at all as they listened and weren't into running off- I must just have been a better, less lazy parent with them!

Uses for maybe a few months just after toddler had started to walk. Maybe from 17 to 20 months. Then again at 2.5yr in marrakech, for her safety

Totally practical parenting solution.

Gives your child a bit of safe, measured freedom. Don't have to keep them trapped in a buggy.
They were a godsend with mine. All bolters and very high energy.

I used the old fashioned type that clips onto a little harness thingy. Pretty much the same as my mum used on me and my siblings in the 60s and 70s.

I don't see it as demeaning at all. That's a very adult analysis, as if they "represent " something. My children had more freedom with them not less.

I'm in South Wales. No frowning here. more practical than that.

Just read a poster referring to the " social implications " of reins. And how they negatively impact on a toddler's dignity.

Dear god, overthinking or what?

Tell you what impacts on a toddlers dignity? Constantly pulling at them saying don't, don't, don't or keeping them laced into a buggy.