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Original poster

help on reins

145 replies

user1489487523 · 14/03/2017 10:39

hello.
I'm doing a sociology project on the use of reins. I used them with y own daughter and thought they were great.
I'm looking at how many parents use them, where demographically they are used most and if you didn't use them why not?
Please could you comment on this post, and let me know.

Many thanks

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EmzDisco · 15/03/2017 19:26

And she is absolutly not "on a lead" Hmm

Amazing to think what you can get judged for.

Just back up to stop an absolutely tiny person going under a car should she suddenly surprise me. It would take a second to let go of my hand and be in the road.

MrsPringles · 15/03/2017 19:28

I have a 2.7 year old, we use the little life backpack and live in Kent.

He runs otherwise and I like these because they're fun for him but makes me feel much more confident that I'm not going to lose him

Goldfishing · 15/03/2017 19:28

It would take a second to let go of my hand and be in the road

This is a parenting issue that you need to fix though, if your DC is too little to understand, then its back in the buggy (or sling?)

Just sidestepping the problem by putting her on a lead is a massive copout; you can't be surprised that people judge you for it?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General parenting
caprifun · 15/03/2017 19:29

Never used them for my dd as she would reliably hold my hand or the side of the pram and never ran off. I did use them for DS as he was (is) a bolter, wouldn't listen and would run off on main roads. I had the little life rucksack ones and used them up to around the age of 3. When he was very little he used to get excited about putting them on, i think he associated them with having a little bit less restriction. I gradually started taking them off at different times when it was less busy with cars etc when he started to be less happy about wearing them. In greater London here.

TheCaptainsCat · 15/03/2017 19:31

Oh yes, so demeaning to make sure your child is kept safe. Idiot.

Nan0second · 15/03/2017 19:33

We use a cheaper version of a little life backpack. We hold hands but I keep the wrist loop on so that if she bolts, I've got her.
She wants to walk and is a good walker but she's only 21 months so hasn't got sense yet. I don't want her in the buggy - exercise is good for her but it's really helpful to have a backup when it's busy.
Judge away.

ErrolTheDragon · 15/03/2017 19:33

We used reins sometimes, especially when DD was at the stage of being determined to walk everywhere but tending to fall down quite often - much easier to stabilise at the first hint of stumble when using reins than you could holding a hand asymmetrically (and holding hands with someone taller for an extended period really isn't comfortable).

I think goldfishings attempts at social analysis are way off. My DM didn't work while we were small, we were several years apart - she used reins. I only had one child.

Nan0second · 15/03/2017 19:34

Ps am in the midlands, not inner city. "Professional" type for your survey... (although you'll get distorted extremes on mumsnet)

Goldfishing · 15/03/2017 19:35

It's not a binary issue though, you're presenting a false dichotomy of

  1. On reins
  2. Unsafe

There is always option 3 - Waiting until your DC has greater understanding and teaching better road safety (and I repeat, fewer DCs, or better spaced ones)

...and there's no need to sign your posts as 'Idiot' that's being pretty harsh on yourself, no? Wink

TheLegendOfBeans · 15/03/2017 19:35

Goldfishing

Are you, or are you not being a deliberate goady fecker? Using inflammatory terms like "on a lead" when it's clear many on this thread would take offence is cruising for a rumble, isn't it?

Genuine question.

FidgetMcGee · 15/03/2017 19:36

Goldfishing - if your dc turned out to be a bolter and you put them back in their buggy how would you know when they're ready to walk without making a break for it? Obviously reins at 4 or 6 as mentioned above are, in the majority of cases, not needed, but if you're unsure whether dc is going to run off, they're handy to use during that transition period whilst instilling road safety messages

Robinkitty · 15/03/2017 19:37

Use them for dc3 the littlelife back pack, she's a bolter and super quick. I like them in places where it can be busy, she can explore a little bit more but still safely.
Dc3 was walking from 10 months but unsteady on her feet for ages after that and I used to be able to pull the reins before she fell over, judge me all you like, me and dd like them.

namechange20050 · 15/03/2017 19:37

I was going to respond to Goldfishing above but then I thought, do you know what? Life is too short. You come across as a thoroughly unpleasant person.

MelinaMercury · 15/03/2017 19:38

I used them with both of mine until they were reliable near roads at around 3.

They both liked them and neither seemed to be too harmed by my demeaning behaviour. This argument has always made me laugh.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 15/03/2017 19:42

We have both backpack and harness style for DD 16months (London). They're part of a range of kit (including buggy and sling) which we use to keep our daughter safe while we teach her life skills. They aren't a fucking 'lead' and if anyone chooses to judge us on our choices so be it. I'd rather have strangers judgement than lose my child.

Friolero · 15/03/2017 19:43

I use a little life backpack for my youngest sometimes - my middle child is disabled and I can't push him and hold my youngest's hand.

No doubt Goldfshing thinks I shouldn't have had a third child if I can't walk and hold his hand, but quite frankly I don't give one ounce of shit about his/her judgemental crap.

Goldfishing · 15/03/2017 19:44

I suppose I don't believe in the concept of 'a bolter'. I think there are willful DCs who need firm parenting and consequences; I can see how these DCs would become 'bolters' if inappropriately parented.

To those of you using reins, what consequences did you put in place for the disobedient behaviour (bolting) before you resorted to actual restraints? I do (well did) pick my parenting battles, but road safely is definitely one I would fight and be sure to win.

Using reins just lets the naughty DC off the hook with no consequence - I do understand the 'anything for an easy life' school of thought but this just looks like such a copout, a real advert to the world that you are an ineffective parent.

balence49 · 15/03/2017 19:44

I used them with both mine, only for a short while. It helps if you have other children to watch. To pull them back from a fall quick when only just toddler. Until they are steady on their feet and you are absolutely sure they are not going to be a "runner"

I have a nephew who is a runner, and will not be told about anything. I looked after him once he was about 4 and had run into two roads on one trip out. Both times he knew he shouldn't be doing that. First time told him off and told him i would make him wear them if it happened again. Needless to say after the second time with him laughing about the telling off, he was wearing them all the way back. Hasn't tried it on near a road with me since!

Somevampsarehot · 15/03/2017 19:45

I'm of the opinion that letting your child walk with reins will actually teach them road safety quicker than if you just bung them in a buggy until they're 4 and old enough to 'get it'. It gives them a bit more independence, and gives parents/grandparents some reassurance that the child can't run off into traffic. It's all well and good saying "just make them hold your hand" but as I'm teaching my children that they don't have to do anything they don't want to regarding their bodies, it would be a bit counterproductive to then force them to hold my hand. Ds2 hates physical contact unless it's established by him, there's no way I could get him to willingly hold my hand if he's not in the mood for it.

FourToTheFloor · 15/03/2017 19:48

Goldfish you are too funny! Honestly, are you speaking for the entire population of the 'leafy shires'? Yeah didn't think so.

Dd1 didn't need them we 'taught her' road sense and she was a very laid back child. Yep, I'm just fucking with you. We didn't teach her road sense at that age, we were just lucky she was not a bolter, liked to hold our hand and stayed close.

Dd2 on the other hand, she gets any faster and I'll think about it.

And YOUR solution is back in the pram or sling. Talk about MAJOR parenting copout there. Omg what will the people of the 'leafy shires' say about you??Shock

Personally after hearing about my poor ndn ds who was run over after darting out in traffic I'd choose reigns over some stupid hippy-fucking-dippy idea of demeaning.

mainlywingingit · 15/03/2017 19:50

Goldfishing - you
Mention advice on a previous post on how to correctly clean the formula milk prepping machine. This is the ultimate time
Saver and 'copout' and personally I use reins (where appropriate) but would would never use formula or a prep machine.

we live in the very 'leafy shires' where life is so rural that on the occasions we are in towns he is not quite ready to have freedom and is learning but I find the buggy restrictive.

It's horses for courses. Baby walkers are a 'copout 'as is formula / prep machines/ TV
But everyone has their modern parenting compromises!

ErrolTheDragon · 15/03/2017 19:52

My DD would have taken great exception to being strapped into a buggy instead of walking (whether on reins or off them). On reins, the child has far more liberty than either strapped in a buggy or held by a hand - their own hands are free, they can walk more naturally. IMO its the least 'demeaning' option for a little one who wants to walk and who doesn't yet have great stability and/or 'recall'.

Goldfishing · 15/03/2017 19:52

Honestly, are you speaking for the entire population of the 'leafy shires'?

Can you show me where I said that?

Didn't think so.

Goldfishing · 15/03/2017 19:55

Mention advice on a previous post on how to correctly clean the formula milk prepping machine. This is the ultimate time
Saver and 'copout'

I've had a double mastectomy.

...and its poor form to cross-reference posts. If you have issues with something I have posted, take it up with me on the thread in question.

FourToTheFloor · 15/03/2017 20:01

they're really frowned upon here (leafy Shires)

But after reading your following ridiculous posts I'm not going to bother engaging with you. You think you're a perfect parent and you'd want to remove those judgey pants from deep within your crack hole.