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Parenting

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Original poster

help on reins

145 replies

user1489487523 · 14/03/2017 10:39

hello.
I'm doing a sociology project on the use of reins. I used them with y own daughter and thought they were great.
I'm looking at how many parents use them, where demographically they are used most and if you didn't use them why not?
Please could you comment on this post, and let me know.

Many thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

stickygotstuck · 15/03/2017 20:01

West Yorkshire here.

I did use them on DD (only child). The harness type, no point pretending they are a rucksack. Ours were specially good, had a sort of handle for the parent to grab and keep child upright if they wobbled without sudden tugs.

Personally I think they are the most sensible choice. No dislocating of toddlers' shoulders, better posture for child and parent, easier to stop them falling when wobbly, and more freedom for the child (plus DD absolutely hated nor having her hands free).

TheCaptainsCat · 15/03/2017 20:02

And I expect, Goldfishing, that people who know fuck all about you, out and about, in shops buying your formula, may well judge you. People are judged for using formula. People like you judge people. People shouldn't judge those they know nothing about, nudging and making comments behind backs.

greeeen · 15/03/2017 20:03

I have a 10month old who is walking and there is no chance of explaining road safety to her yet. She hates being confined in a sling or buggy and is too little to hold hands safely. For these reasons I'm thinking a lead sounds like a good idea, for when we are near roads anyway. I had no idea people would be judging me for this. I would rather my DD was happy walking than unhappy strapped into something though. If this will get me the cats bum from some strangers I can live with that.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General parenting

Goldfishing · 15/03/2017 20:03

To be honest, I've rather lost interest in reins and am waiting to hear more about how my 'choice' to FF is the 'ultimate copout'

...or would you like to contact MNHQ and have your post deleted?

Goldfishing · 15/03/2017 20:04

Fuck me the captains cat are you for real? You think treatment (prophylactic in my case) for cancer is on a par with rein usage??

Really?

TheCaptainsCat · 15/03/2017 20:06

Don't be obtuse - I was saying it's pretty shit to judge what other parents do when you know nothing about them and their circumstances. That means people who use reins for whatever reason, and people who use formula, for whatever reason.

Lovelybreadbin · 15/03/2017 20:08

I used reins with my first. He was a bolter. We went for a chest harness to a wrist strap to a backpack with a lead. I don't feel it harmed his dignity. I never felt judged. He enjoyed the fact that he had some freedom when out and about. I'll try the same with my twins when they're properly walking. Who knows if they'll like it, but I'll try it.

I'm in London by the way.

Robinkitty · 15/03/2017 20:10

Goldfish I think what you said about using reins being an advertisement to ineffective parenting or some such nonsense is really out of order, I'm too long in the tooth to give a toss about being judged by others it's water of a ducks back but I can imagine what you said could really knock the confidence of others. Is that what you were hoping to achieve?

Elizabethsimpson · 15/03/2017 20:12

goldfishing I find it surprising that you think strapping children into a pram is any better for a child that wants to walk than to putting a lead on a backpack. If anything, the latter gives more freedom and the pram is more of a restraint.

I've not used reins yet but I have bought a Littlelife backpack and thought that I might use it in a deterrent sense e.g. 'You need to walk sensibly or the rein goes on.'

My son is 20 months and we live in London.

MiaowTheCat · 15/03/2017 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FourToTheFloor · 15/03/2017 20:15

Actually Goldfish I don't think it is bad form cross referencing. See lots of people do think ff is a copout. Not knowing your history, but they are judging you regardless. Do you see how your ridiculous judgey posts were unnecessary.

You weren't happy to just say you don't agree with them. You started to get personal so pp who pulled your history. Fair fucks really.

Orangebird69 · 15/03/2017 20:19

What consequences should I have given my 13mo ds when he didn't want to hold my hand? Should I have just strapped him in the buggy regardless? Until when? Please Goldfish, prey tell. You've clearly got your shit together.

Mummysh0rtlegs · 15/03/2017 20:21

Leafy home counties - I tend to use mine to tie my 18 month old into the Aldi trolley. He walks holding my hand or is picked up if he won't, his choice.

Porpoiselife · 15/03/2017 20:23

I'd never use them! It would feel like walking a dog! I'm in France. I had 3 under 3 year old and managed fine without sticking my kids on a lead .

MistressMerryWeather · 15/03/2017 20:25

Are there no children with special needs in your leafy shires, Goadfishing?

3 yo DS has no sense of danger. You can't tell he is autistic just by looking at him - you just see a tall 3-year-old in reins.

I'm sure you and your ignorant gawpers would have a field day with us.

SightHoundSista · 15/03/2017 20:27

Some people are downright nasty aren't they?

Onlyaplasticbagdear · 15/03/2017 20:29

What a bizarre thing to be judgy about.

fuckoffdailysnail · 15/03/2017 20:32

We use reigns for DD1 who is 2 as DD2 who is 8 months is either in the buggy or sling.
I don't care what anyone thinks it's fuck all to do with them

liquidrevolution · 15/03/2017 20:35

Ooh reins. Very marmite but my Dd has 2 pairs. And a backpack we never use.

Shes a bolter, we live surrounded by fields so no road awareness and I'd rather she wasnt squished by a car on rare forages into town. She has had reins since 15 months when she started walking. Now she is 2.8 she wants more independance so the rule is hold hands or buggy or the reins go on.

Leafy berkshire. All other mums drive everywhere in 4x4s or leave the running after bolting children to the nanny.

Gillian1980 · 15/03/2017 20:36

Thing is, my dd was walking before she was one and was not able to comprehend road safety at all. Hence the reins.

But some think it's somehow inappropriate to strap her in reins so she can happily and safely toddle along. But its ok to strap her into a buggy instead? She's restrained either way...

I have no issue with people not liking reins and choosing not to use them themselves. But I'm genuinely shocked that anyone could be so judgemental about it in other parents and make loads of assumptions based on that one choice.

MargaretCabbage · 15/03/2017 20:38

I'm in the Midlands and use backpack style reins with my two year old. We walk everywhere and live on a busy road so we started using them just in case when he was very small, and he loves his backpack now so we continue to use it. I slip the handle over my wrist and hold his hand, and he's very sensible. I don't think we need them really, but on one occasion he did try and bolt and I'm not risking it. He hasn't been in a buggy since just after he turned two and walks everywhere.

Judge away.

BackforGood · 15/03/2017 20:38

I'm not going to feed the ridiculous goading, so to reply to the OP

Reins were used for all of mine briefly, one of mine extensively. It gave him freedom to walk / run / jump in puddles / stop and pick things up / carry things / etc., etc. safely. Try doing all those fund things when strapped in a pushchair ? - you can't. Try walking along with your arm in the air for even just 10mins (as a child is if holding an adult's hand) - it is painful as well as stopping you from doing so many things that you can do when you are safe (on reins) but free to investigate the world around you a little bit.

Reins are absolutely invaluable. (Don't think the back pack ones were invented when mine were little, but they look fab too).

justpeachy74 · 15/03/2017 20:38

I used them with my older child 6 years ago and I'm using (or trying to) use them with my toddler. Sometimes she is happy to use them. Sometimes the suggestion of them encourages her to hold my hand.

I never imagined that I would use reins on my children. It seems a bit undignified. However reality set in and I saw a need for them to keep them safe. My toddler does need them as she's a bolter. The roads are busy, and she refuses to hold hands sometimes.

If I felt confident that she understood the dangers and definitely wouldn't run into the road I wouldn't use them.

justpeachy74 · 15/03/2017 20:40

We're in greater London.

purpleprickle · 15/03/2017 20:45

There are some utter sneery snobby twats on this thread.

Reins assist some parents to keep little children safe.

Not all parents feel they need them. That's fine.

Some kids refuse to hold hands.

Some kids like a bit of space to potter alongside without a hand being gripped constantly.

The difference in height can make it uncomfortable for a kid to have their arm up constantly.

Some kids randomly bolt (this does happen and doesn't mean ineffective parenting). Putting them in the buggy is not the answer, they can walk and want to walk, and reins give them a bit of space but stop them launching themselves into a dangerous situation.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with reins.

I could go on, but I can't be arsed what a lot of people saying on here is laughable.

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