help on reins

[user1489487523]

hello.
I'm doing a sociology project on the use of reins. I used them with y own daughter and thought they were great.
I'm looking at how many parents use them, where demographically they are used most and if you didn't use them why not?
Please could you comment on this post, and let me know.

Many thanks

And taking of cop outs. Shoving your child in a buggy or sling when they can walk and want to walk. That's a cop out.

I use reins for my 20 month old ds as its good to let him have that wee bit of independence plus i know with the reins he cant run off. He goes in his buggy for walks with ddog which he doesnt mind if he gets to use his reins the rest of the time

I'm in Scotland. I used a littlelife backpack for my eldest then with my 2 year old twins found Kool Kangaroos boomereins much better as then had hands free to either push double buggy or hold their hands. My eldest was naturally cautious and didn't need reins for long. One twin is happy to hold hands. The other is a runner. He must be the one I do my crap parenting on. Anyway I'm happy it keeps them safer while they get exercise and learn road safety without being stuck in the buggy all the time. Couldn't give a fuck about being judged about it - do what works for you and your children.

I use them for my 16month old. And I call them 'the lead'. She's been walking since 10 months and she still can't really be reasoned with so she can't be trusted to not to go in the road. We live on a really busy road. Stooping down and walking while trying to hold her hand kills my dodgy back. They were great when she fell over all the time. Unless we're going really far or I think she might need a nap I'd rather get her to walk places than plonk her in the buggy, exercise and all that. Don't see how it's any more undignified than being strapped into a buggy. Child leads all the way.

Oh I live in a city.

The snobbery on this thread is madness

I don't care if people judge me. I just care that my 2yr old isn't going to bolt into an oncoming car. Or get lost if I take my eyes of him for 2 seconds which you know, I have to do sometimes when I'm out and need to pay/get something off a shelf etc.

Maybe I'll just grow some extra eyes and arms.

Meh.

Sorry forgot to add im in scotland (central) and have littlelife reins for ds

I live in Berlin, in city centre and next to very main road. I live in a flat without a lift and I love the fact that reins mean we can go for a walk without hoiking the buggy up and down the stairs.

At 14 months my baby is a very good walker, very quick and steady and can walk for ages and she gets frustrated in the buggy. Reins are a good compromise and mean we can walk somewhere without me feeling constantly on edge. It is just too busy on the roads and the pavements, otherwise and without the reins we would be restricted to the buggy, which neither of us wants.

I have never seen anyone else here use them and imagine they may not be approved of, but who gives a fuck? Let people get their knickers in a twist.

My 2yr old has reins - we use them when he is whizzing along on his scooter, trying to keep up with his two older sisters and not really paying attention to anything else. I've saved him from going under the wheels of a car several times. I have to jog alongside him though!
I'm considering a wrist strap for my DD who is nearly 9, she has ADHD & ASD and is a bolter, and has always been a bolter. With 3 children to keep track of, going out in public is a particularly fraught experience. Couldn't give a shit if I'm judged for keeping her on a lead - I'd rather that than lost/abducted/killed.

I used reins on my eldest. She wanted to walk from about 18mths and I had a newborn in the pram. Reins on meant she could walk without the worry of her bolting/getting lost etc. She learned quickly about walking with the pram, holding hands etc and is great.

Youngest child won't entertain them, but is a bolter. She gets strapped in the pram which she hates, and I think it'd be far better for her if she walked. I can't push a pram (which I still need since she can't walk the whole way) and hold two kids hands. Life would be easier if she'd walk on reins.

I've been judged for my use of reins, although only by women of my own age (late 30s). Older women, of my mother's generation, have told me how sensible it is. One told me how her toddler son ran into traffic and was killed, and that she's never forgiven herself for not putting his reins on that day.

Judge if you like, but I'd rather have a well exercised, alive child.

I used them with ds1 from when he started walking up until he was about 2 and old enough to understand about crossing the road safely. I just used the cheap reins from boots. Ds2 will be walking soon so I'll probably use them for him too. Even if he holds my hand without any issues, I don't know I'd feel comfortable taking the risk.

I'm in the sw.

I tried them but DS didn't like them and would just sit down in the street and refuse to walk so I gave up. Luckily he was not a bolter!

I lived in Warwickshire at the time.

Goldfishing

So glad for you, your DCs were clearly calm, compliant and receptive to discipline. Well done you!

Ours are fast, rangey, arsey, climb-anything bulldozers of kids who eat up life and everything it throws at them. Reins were a way of encouraging independence whilst keeping them safe from harm living in and cruising about London.

Oh yes, notinmybackyard, reins are brilliant for keeping wee ones safe on scooters.

I'm of the opinion that letting your child walk with reins will actually teach them road safety quicker than if you just bung them in a buggy until they're 4 and old enough to 'get it'.

I'd agree with that. The child on reins gets much more practical experience of safely crossing roads, walking sensibly on pavements etc, than the child kept in a pushchair.

Anyway, there's judgement either way. I put my bolting child (and my more biddable non-bolter) on reins near roads.
Clearly some people would judge me as a terrible parent for this.
But I'm sure if I'd kept my bolter confined to a pushchair until he'd developed a bit of road sense - and we're talking nearer 4yrs old here - there'd have been people more than ready to be judging me as a terribly lazy parent for keeping an able bodied child in a pushchair so long.

west wales. 16 month old daughter loves them.

I've used reins, I have DS 2 and DN (20 months, I look after him in the week) When DS was a little younger I couldn't push the pushchair for DN and hold DS's hand So he had a backpack with the rein around the pushchair handle just in case. The alternative was to keep him in the pushchair when walking is so much better for them if possible. Now at 2 he will reliably hold on to the pushchair and know to stop at the kerb and wait for me to say go before crossing the road. I honestly think that my use of a rein has helped him understand road safety, be able to walk a good distance and stay safe.

It's a lifestyle issue, innit? I live in a built up area and tend to walk/use public transport so for me it's a choice between extended pushchair use or occasional use of backpack reins. If you live somewhere quiet and/or tend to drive more then you might feel differently. My DS is ok holding hands, but who wants to hold hands for the entirety of a 20/30 min walk? Sweaty palms for me and an achy arm for him (I am quite tall). With the backpack on he can balance with his arms, set his own pace a bit and generally walk normally. I'd hate to be dragged along by the hand by a 12 ft giant.

As I said above, DD comes to ask for her harness in the park because it means she can climb up.and run down the hill without faceplanting... to her reins mean fun and the ability to explore steps and rough ground. She gets freedom on quiet beaches and in safe parks - but she seems to prefer exploring more interesting terrain in a harness!

Holding hands is not comfortable for any of us - she's just too short at the moment - another reason for reins. She walked at 13 months and is 9th-25th percentile so not big - her 10 month younger cousin is a similar height and weight.

Shropshire and professional parents (dog owners for what it's worth...)

I used the little life backpacks (now 10 & 8). And I said "walkies!" on the odd occasion 😆. DD needed hers until she was around 4, mainly when we went into central London.

A local mum doesn't use them on her dc's, it makes me so angry, I want to bellow at her to pay attention to her kids.

For balance OP, I've never used reins because my DD is quite happy to hold hands and I like holding her hand/don't mind walking slowly. She does like walking by herself but she is quite reasonable and if told 'wait until we get to the park' she won't argue.

I think I would use reins if I had a toddler who bolted. I remember walking by a river with my nephew back when I was childless and my MIL was having to run after him constantly and I just remember thinking that it looked exhausting!

That said, (and I know this won't be popular!) I don't think that a child level of bolty-ness is completely set in stone by their personality. My DD has been going on small walks with me to the corner shop almost daily since she was capable and it was short enough that if she was pulling my hand she would be up and on my hip in a second and it wouldn't be a problem for me, which I think has contributed to her generally placid nature regarding hand holding. She's certainly NOT a generally placid child.

I don't know, perhaps a child who is in nursery for a good chunk of the week (for example, nothing wrong with nursery ) wouldn't get the opportunity to practice as much.

THAT said, if you have a baby in a buggy and an under three then you definitely need one.

Never used them.

Not at all common in my country and would imagine gasps of horror if used.

I had very busy young children.

My MIL used them when living in the U.K. with my DF - she LOVED them.

Sorry Goldfish but people with judgy pants on will see you feed your child Formula- not know the whole picture and judge that situation.

What if the person you were judging with reins had a previous child hit by a car? It's a similar analogy .

I did look at previous posts because it proves my point . You don't like the show on the other foot. You can't judge others but not like being judged yourself !

I also don't get the argument "it's either reins or the buggy"

No-one I know uses them, I have never seen them where I live (except on the children of U.K. Tourists) yet we all manage to keep our children safe and understanding of road rules.

This is excluding SEN issues of course to which I hold no judgement whatsoever

There should be no judgement or 'gasping' from anyone, ever. How pathetic some lives must be that they spend their time 'gasping' at stuff parents choose to do.

People should take their stupid sneering noses and piss off and concentrate on their own kids.