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Original poster

Tips to help 4 week old self soothe

53 replies

carly190117 · 14/02/2017 21:17

Hi,
My 4 week old son is having trouble sleeping at night. He will happily fall fast asleep in my arms but as soon as I put him in his crib he wakes and cries. When I pick him up he will stop and fall back to sleep. He is in a Chicco next to me crib and I have tried keeping contact with him (hold his hand, rub his belly, stroke his head etc) to try help him fall back asleep without picking him up and I've also tried letting him cry it out but he gets himself that upset he will then be sick. Does anyone have any other suggestions/advice??

OP posts:
OrangeRhinoInTraining · 14/02/2017 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wherethewildthingis · 14/02/2017 21:26

A four week old baby still thinks he and you are part of the same person- forget self soothing, pick him up and love him!! Please don't make him "cry it out".
This is parenting and yes it's bloody hard but it's your job to do what he needs - all of the time!

TheABC · 14/02/2017 21:28

OP, your baby needs to be much, much older before they can self soothe. Its normal for them to wake in the night and want you, right now. Google the fourth trimester.

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mamalovebird · 14/02/2017 21:33

4 week olds can't self soothe. My ds slept on my chest for about 6-8 weeks before I tried putting him down to sleep on a crib next to the bed. Give him what he needs. He is so brand new. Cherish it Smile

Chocolateorangegoblin · 14/02/2017 21:33

Can you swaddle him? His startle reflex might be waking him when you put him down.
It's quite normal for them to not want to be put down. Please don't leave him to cry. As the above poster said, read about the fourth trimester.

AssassinatedBeauty · 14/02/2017 21:35

Don't let him cry until he's sick! It's really normal for them to want to be held. You could try warming the cot with a hot water bottle, also swaddling or using a sleeping bag if your baby is large enough. He still might not like being put down.

I let my baby sleep on me if I can't put him down, I make myself comfortable on the bed with a v shape pillow and let him sleep in my arms. You could also try feeding lying down, and let him sleep next to you in the bed, following safe co-sleeping advice as well.

MommieMommyMom · 14/02/2017 21:35

Like others have said, 4 week old can't self sooth, they probably don't even know they're born yet xx

ReturnoftheWhack · 14/02/2017 21:39

Please don't let him cry so much he is sick!

StandardNameHere · 14/02/2017 21:41

Only echoing what others have said- waaaay too young to self soothe

NoUseNumber27 · 14/02/2017 21:41

My 6 month old can't self soothe yet, 4 weeks is still tiny!

Enjoy the snuggles whilst you can Smile

SerialReJoiner · 14/02/2017 21:41

He really needs you. Not want, need. Enjoy those newborn cuddles and worry about the rest later.

PeachBellini123 · 14/02/2017 21:42

We also do the hot water bottle in the crib before DS is put in. Also white noise helps. But my DS (same age) much prefers lying in our arms and sleeping. I think it's natural for this age.

MommieMommyMom · 14/02/2017 21:47

Please don't listen to the crap about 'spoiling' a baby. It's not possible.
4 week olds cry because they have a need that isn't met.
Keep him close, let him feel safe, don't let him cry too much because it's really not good for them.
My 8mo and me co-slept, she liked to feel close.
She's now been sleeping through the night, alone, since around 12-13 weeks.
It goes so fast OP.
I feel like my princess was born yesterday but in 4 months she will be a whole year old. I miss my newborn snuggles, as tiring as that stage was. You'll never get another 'today'
Ride it out, keep him close, you'll kiss it too, soon x

MommieMommyMom · 14/02/2017 21:47

*miss it

MissClarke86 · 14/02/2017 21:47

Sorry to partially hijack but as a soon to be new mum, I have a question.

If a baby only ever sleep on you, but you're not meant to fall asleep holding a baby, how do you ever get any sleep whatsoever?

Hatemylifenow · 14/02/2017 21:49

I am a huge fan of sleep training but the earliest this should be attempted is 6 months - at 4 weeks baby doesn't even know he is a separate person from you yet, please don't let him cry it out!!!

Hatemylifenow · 14/02/2017 21:50

clarke - I co slept.

MommieMommyMom · 14/02/2017 21:51

I was actually advised to co-sleep with my premature baby, by a consultant paediatrician.
I had a resp monitor that would sound off if he stopped breathing.

With my daughter I just put the sensor mat on my bed where she lay x

nobodysnogslikejoebloggs · 14/02/2017 21:52

4 weeks?! Wayyyyy to early. And cruel. I sleep trained mine and it worked a dream, but that was at 6 months, which I believe is the minimum recommended age.

LauraPalmersBodybag · 14/02/2017 21:52

You must be knackered op and have my sympathy, but the things you're hoping are not biologically possible right now. Tiny babies need to be close to their caregivers, it's survival instinct. YY to 4th trimester stuff as pp have mentioned. A 4 week old crying until vomiting is a very distressed baby.

Is everything ok with you? Is there a partner/father/other family member around who could hold your DS so you can get some rest?

He will learn to be without you and go down to sleep but that's some time away. I'd look for support and alternatives IIWY.

Jaagojaago · 14/02/2017 21:52

I've also tried letting him cry it out but he gets himself that upset he will then be sick.

You've done this to a 4 Week old?

MommieMommyMom · 14/02/2017 21:54

JaagoJaago she's a new mum, she's just trying xx

iwasagirlinavillage · 14/02/2017 21:58

Cuddle your baby. Give them the security they need and let them know that you are, and will continue to be their safe place. My daughter is now 7 months and we still partially co-sleep but she'll also sleep on her own. It does get easier, but cherish this. Do what you need to do to get some sleep. A sling might help for the day.

PastysPrincess · 14/02/2017 21:58

Google the 4th trimester.

Baby has spent more of their existence jammed up against your heart than they have out in the big wide world...of course baby doesn't want to be separated from you, you are all they've ever known.

Original poster
carly190117 · 14/02/2017 22:00

I've been having to let him sleep in my arms for the last few weeks but I was worried this was not safe.

I haven't left him to cry it out on his own, it's just when he's cried and I've tried to settle him by holding his hand rubbing his head/belly etc so he would know I'm there without picking him up straight away and he brings up a little milk but wasn't sure if this was partly reflux from his feed so I have angled his bed also.

I'm happy to carry on letting him sleep in my arms but when I asked the health visitor for advice on this she said not to to let him sleep in my arms so I was asking if anyone has advice/suggestions who may have been through this also.

My son is my world and I'm certainly not trying to be cruel , I just want to do what's best for him hence why I'm asking for help and I also don't want to put him in any danger as you hear so much from people about co-sleeping and Sid which worries me.

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