What will the first few weeks with a newborn be like?

[justanotheryoungmother]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently pregnant and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me what your experience was in the first few weeks after having your DC. I'm planning to try breastfeeding, so that may change the experience slightly

Things such as: how often will they feed, how often will they get up in the night etc

Thank you for any experiences that you share

I BF and those early weeks were a blur of feeding, feeding, feeding, trying to sleep, feeling anxious, feeling exhausted, more feeding, then slowly relaxing a bit and enjoying my new DS.

Lovely, exhausting

I would buy and read a good book about bf as they are a mine of useful info! The food of love is a very good book.

A sleepless blur.

Exhilarating, exciting, tiring, frightening, blissful - all at once!

I've managed to blank it out. I was so tired. Feeding and changing nappies and an unreliable sleep schedule.

Look out a couple of decent boxsets and put them aside.

Utterly exhausting. Don't plan on doing anything except lying in bed or sitting on the sofa feeding.

I remember : Inconsistent timings. Cold tea. Crying. Laughing. Biscuits. Sofa. Googling at 3am. Laundry. Snuggles.

A lot of crying (on my part)

Lovely. Expect to be tired, but after the first couple of nights both mine settled and would sleep for chunks of time...2-4 hours at a time, both EBF. Sleep when they sleep if you can. Stock up the freezer/cupboards with good nutritious food so you dont have that to worry about. Its such a lovely time, know your limitations and i think if you accept/expect to spend a vast chunk of time sitting on the sofa cuddling your baby and feeding you can enjoy it. I viewed it as the only time i had "permission" to do nothing!! Newborn cuddles are just lovely.

I loved it! Once I stopped trying to be a domestic goddess...

As long as your concentrate on yourself & the new arrival, and don't try to be superwoman, you'll be fine.

While you're feeding, watch some TV or read an ebook. You'll get good at doing things one handed - toast is easier than cereal for example.

Highly recommend the Wonder Weeks App so you can reassure yourself of what's normal for your baby at their stage of development

Don't expect to get anything else done except get to know your baby. Make it as easy on yourself as you can by taking care of as many things in advance as possible - cooking food for the freezer, locating breastfeeding helplines and drop-ins, making sure you have a working washing machine etc.

It's a full time job! I can't give you timings because every baby is different, but it will certainly be round the clock at first.

Mine were just a blur of tired - settee, dressing gown, tea and biscuits

Just feed, sleep, cuddle. Give no fucks for anything else, normal life can resume later :)

A complete life shock. For my first I cried a lot and hated every moment of the first few weeks to be honest. Everyones different- dont feel guilty if you wonder why its not the 'blissful' lovely time a lot of people tell you it is. It's different for everyone and a lot will depend on your baby and how you get on breastfeeding (seek out local support groups now in case you need them). If you find it tough rest assured it does get much easier and more lovely!

I'm about to do it again with number 2 so it can't be that bad....but a bit of a blur. I found the sleeplessness tolerable as I was probably running on a bit of adrenaline and hormones. The breastfeeding was hard, baby latched fine but I constantly leaked milk and boobs were like rocks. I had a straightforward birth but was in a lot more pain after than expected, every muscle ached from pushing, I was breathless walking and had stitches which were uncomfortable.

The most overwhelming love for dd, and amazement at everything about her. And total, total exhaustion.

Dd fed about every 90 minutes, day and night, for the first few weeks. I watched a lot of box sets! Dh did all the cooking, shopping, housework etc, feeding was a full time job. Freeze meals in advance and get easy food in that you can eat with one hand if breastfeeding. It was weeks before I ate a meal with 2 hands!

The most important things to remember are take lots of photos they grow and change unbelievelably quickly, and nap whenever you can, it's tiring in the first few weeks.

On a very good night your baby will get up once or twice for a breastfeed, on a very bad night anything up to 13 times!

My babies pooed a lot, up to ten times a day but they are not all like that.

I was very sweaty in the first few days and the midwife said it might be my body getting rid of the fluid. It surprised me. I also didn't realise that I would bleed for 3 weeks after giving birth 🙈. When my milk came in I had to wear breastpads or the milk would leak onto my clothes.

All in all i would say it is a unique experience, which can be very tiring and messy. Some people love it, some people hate it, but in the grand scheme of things it's a short period in your life.

Congratulations on your pregnancy xx

In my experience (2 dc) there is no night and day for the first 4-6 weeks. I was feeding every 1.5 to 2 hours round the clock at that stage.

By 6ish weeks they were doing a 4ish hour stretch at night then back to the 1.5 to 2 hours.

We managed a 6 hour stretch over night by about 10 weeks I think.

I thought it was quite hard but now DS can walk and climb and looking back, it was relaxing in comparison

Make sure your DP is willing to help out with cooking, washing, bedtimes and you'll be fine. I restricted visitors so we weren't overwhelmed.

I found the early weeks with my first seemed to be like one constant day. Meals and sleep were at totally random times.
Slightly more structure when dc2 was born as obviously dc1 needed to be fed and out to bed at normal times.
Not much difference to usual with dc3 I didn't miss a school run! The tiredness was easier to cope with too because I'd done it before.

I hated the first weeks. Was completely overwhelmed and isolated. I wish I could go back and do it again with the confidence as a parent I have now. My advice would be to build a nest on the sofa or bed with drinks and snacks to hand and a good series to watch and snuggle. Sleep when baby sleeps and don't do anything else.

Read up on cluster feeding. I had lactation failure with dd1 and really want to bf dd2 (who is 8 days old) she had her first cluster feeding session a few days ago and it was a massive sock to my system. Id recommended getting a sleepyhead deluxe mattress as we have safely coslept in that at night amd it's saved my sanity at times.

Every baby is different. The first week with mine I was in hospital until around day five so it wasn't a great time because every day I was there I wished I could be at home. Did enjoy the days when I was at home but it was exhausting because my DS decided to feed every hour of the day and night and I was hand expressing because it hurt so bad to breast feed properly then he was having aptimil top ups too so I barely slept.

I gave up around two weeks and just got powder and bottles, it was pretty much a blur the first month but it was nice when he started to sleep more in the night when we switched to formula so I enjoyed the days with him more and the special times like giving him his first bath and seeing his cord fall off.

It's exhausting but rewarding especially as they grow and get older

Give up all your expectations and just react to your baby's needs. Then after about eight weeks you wake up a bit and things seem to be real again. It's lovely, but only if you don't expect anything from it.

My strongest memories with my first are getting well acquainted with Asian cricket and baseball. Cups of tea at 3am. Everything was upside down.

Feeding, winding, feeding, changing nappy, exhaustion, cracked bleeding nipples, feeding, tears (mine), feeding every 90 minutes during the night, crying with exhaustion while trying to not fall asleep while feeding him in bed, and really fucking hating DP for being able to get up, change a nappy and then go back to sleep 2 minutes later, while I had to stay awake to feed, feed, feed. Realising that newborns don't sleep quietly. Jumping up every few minutes to make sure he was still breathing.

Other memories are lots of visits from wonderful midwives who were all very kind, helpful and supportive, painful stitches, the bleeding-oh dear God the bleeding (it is NOT like a heavy period, it's like a fortnight long massacre), being absolutely petrified trying to poo (and having lots of discussions on here with lovely MNers about that). Showering after every pee.

Ah, good times.

I think it can vary a huge deal dependant on the kind of baby you get, how supportive your OH/family are, how bf works for you, and how delivery went.

DC1 was born by CS and we got off to a rocky start with bf. She was a very high needs baby (colicky, wouldn't be put down) and believed, even as a newborn, that sleep was for the weak. We had no help from family, although DH was amazing. The first few weeks were blurry and painful TBH. I had never even changed a nappy before she was born, so I was trying to get to grips with the basic mechanics of looking after a baby, as well as recovering from the birth, adjusting to our new life, and surviving on very little sleep.
If I could do it over, I'd have tried to 'borrow' a baby to learn how to change a nappy, hold them, wind them, baths etc (meaning have a friend with a baby demo on theirs). A good friend did this with my DC2 as she was due her PFB a few months after, which I know made her feel a lot more confident. I would still have been coping with everything else, but it would have been one less thing to be tackling.
If DC2 had been my PFB it would have been very different. She's a very happy content baby who's happy to be put down from time to time. I had a crash CS and (different) bf issues, so that part was still hard but teamed with an 'easier' baby made for a much better experience (along with knowing which way around a nappy goes on!).

In terms of how often you'll be up etc, I think both mine were fairly average in wanting to be fed every 1 - 2 hours as newborns. However they were/are both pretty efficient feeders so were done very quickly (DD1 never took more than 40mins as a newborn, but quickly reduced to 20 then 10 mins. DD2 started at 15-20mins and now is done in 10). Other babies I believe can take an hour to have a feed in the early days.

Oh, and yes to the tears mentioned above. Somewhere between days 2 and 5 (usually) you'll feel like a weepy mess. Both times I've felt like I wasn't coping, made a mistake etc, the pain seemed worse. It's hormonal and your milk coming in, totally normal but I really wish someone had warned me! The second time knowing didn't stop me feeling that way, but at least I knew what was happening and that it'd soon pass.