What will the first few weeks with a newborn be like?

[justanotheryoungmother]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently pregnant and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me what your experience was in the first few weeks after having your DC. I'm planning to try breastfeeding, so that may change the experience slightly

Things such as: how often will they feed, how often will they get up in the night etc

Thank you for any experiences that you share

I didn't find it too bad really. I think it depends how well you cope with little sleep.

I think the main shock for me was that they really do not want to go to sleep at night, and when they do its propped up on your chest! They want to feed a lot as well and you will probably worry they are not getting enough.

I cried lots and lots about everything. From real things - like DS's feeding, the housework, DP going back to work - to utterly stupid things - like every single tiny bit of help anyone gave me, every advert, every film, every TV show. I cried with guilt and gratitude when my sisters washed up, when my mum made tea, and at pretty much everything DP did. I felt guilty that I couldn't do things (EMCS) and grateful that they all did so much.

Those first few weeks were super emotional

Also, look up the term '4th trimester'. It helped me to understand DS in the low moments when I was losing perspective due to lack of sleep and his need to be attached to me at all times was making me crazy.

I loved it. Such a prescious time. I was lucky though as my little boy would sleep is his bed (we had a cocoonababy which was a godsend) for up to 4 hours at a stretch from birth. So I wasn't particularly tired (that came with teething at 4 months!). So it was lots of breastfeeding, napping and cuddling on the sofa. Blissful 6 weeks and then the colic started! It was lovely while it lasted.

I had a dreadful time. If you need help and support, or pain relief, because your body has been damaged by the birth, because of how you feel emotionally, because you are anxious, then ask, ask , ask. If you or your baby need medical attention, don't be fobbed off and keep insisting you get it.

I have no happy memories of the 1st 6 weeks of DD1's life - stuff like when and how often things happened were minutae and of little consequence in comparison to what I dealt with and how I felt. It would have been easier to have been run over by a bus and expected to get up and carry on.

I hope you have a better time of it and if things aren't great reach out for help and keep on doing so.

You may well feel overwhelmed and totally unprepared. This is normal. If you want to get dressed you will find your maternity clothes still are the most comfortable. Invest in a warm comfy dressing gown though because it is also totally normal to spend a lot of time awake in your pjs either up at night or in the day.

Sometimes babies have funny little things wrong with them when they are born, usually easy to deal with and fix and not a big worry. I'm not scare mongering so much as trying to reassure you that 'normal' often does involves all kinds of weird stuff and peering at babies nooks and crannies! Same with you, post partum, don't put up with pain or difficulty, use the healthcare that is abundant in the first weeks. Get books, read them and stay calm. There is a lot of help and support if you know where to access it.
Enjoy and use the MW and HV support and do confide your worries in them regarding babies health. Mine was breathing in a funny way at two weeks old and I mentioned it, they sent us straight over to hospital which helped quick diagnoses of pneumonia. They usually know their stuff.

Lansinoh is balm for nipples.

Best wishes x

As you can see from above, a lot depends on the baby!

I loved the newborn phase, I was delighted not to be pregnant any more. Mine were easy to bf, they fed every 3-4 hours and never for more than 20 mins, they were big babies both nearly 42 weeks when born, they gained weight easily, neither of them screamed unconsolably - they only cried for milk and stopped crying when they got it. And though I was tired it was not a nightmare at all.

The hard things were

• my eldest was a velcro baby, i couldn't put her down until she was about 8 weeks old. We had a sling, she slept on me in bed, we muddled through. My youngest was quite happy to sit in his bouncy chair or moses basket.

• my youngest was sore to bf for the first 5 mins - toe curling and tears running down my cheeks. My eldest was a bit ouchy but not so sore.

• the soreness post birth - I had a third degree tear with my second and it was all a bit delicate, the first post birth poo got me in a real state. (Advice, have a hot cup of coffee, go and sit on the loo for a while and relax! It WILL be ok!)

• the hormonal crash about 7 days in. Sob sob sob.

Good luck.

It's mainly be a blur of constant feeding, chronic sleep deprivation and a baby who wants to be constantly held. All perfectly normal, babies are supposed to be held close and the constant feeding is to establish your milk supply. I didn't believe the people who told me it would get easier after 8 weeks or so buy it did, quite suddenly. Look into safe cosleeping if your baby is one that needs to be in constant contact with you. Also stock up on snacks, drink lots of water and have plenty of TV to watch.

With my first baby, I really hated the first month or so. I imagined it would be hard and tiring but we'd all flop on the sofa at the end of the day for a lovely cuddle, but it just felt relentless. I had no idea just how awful the tiredness would be and how lonely I'd feel in the middle of the night. I struggled to breastfeed and couldn't get timely help and ended up switching to formula. I cried about everything and wondered what I'd done. When I slept I kept waking up because I was dreaming I'd dropped him. I'd had a nasty tear during the birth and was worried about how I'd heal. But I loved my baby more than anything, and I managed to watch a lot of good TV during the night feeds.

Second time around I was completely dreading it but I loved it. It was hard and there were a couple of times I felt delirious with tiredness but I spent all my time cuddling my baby and it was lovely.

However it goes for you, just remember it really doesn't last long so make the most of it/power through.

Get Amazon Prime. I actually LOVE my Amazon Prime membership for those middle of the night 'treats' and for sending me my changing table the very next day when I realised my back and EMCS scar were not going to be able to cope with changing on the floor or bed.
Set up breastfeeding stations in your bedroom & living room - drinks bottle, tissues, muslin, breast pads, lansinoh, books/ipad, remote controls.
Drink like a lord (water) and keep eating.

Good tip once you are home alone in the day - the night before your or OH restock the living room. Nappies etc and a spare set of clothes, plus fill drinks bottles for you, I used to make myself a packed lunch while dh held baby in the evenings, so I was all set for the next day.

Good book i found is called The Bump Class.im due in April and have found this really informative.i borrowed it from the library but have to give it back so will have to buy it!really useful info from week 1 of pregnancy right through birth and beyond about what to expect.this is my first so no idea how ill cope but dreading the sleepless nights.i become a monster when i dont get enough sleep!

All a bit of a blur...

Basically, bring baby home. Wonder why baby is awake seven hours in a stretch when all the books say it's impossible for them to remain awake for more than ninety minutes. Feed the baby. Baby poos. Change baby. Baby pees. Change baby again. Feed baby (repeat.) wonder when the baby will sleep. Feed baby. Be amazed at how such a tiny thing can produce so much poo. Feed baby. Decide baby is some sort of alien being that doesn't require sleep.

Basically, it varies a lot. I know people with newborns who just feed, poo and sleep for a few weeks. Ours was a tad more alert... and came out head up looking around, demanding to be amused.

...but just feed them when they root or cry. Feed lots. Get comfy on the sofa, get a breastfeeding cushion, get drinks and snacks and just feed. Get your partner to do the running around in the first week or two - you need to recover. How often do they feed? Constantly. How often do they wake in the night? Varies - some sleep really well, others barely sleep at all. Some feed then sleep. Some cluster feed. Both normal.

Life becomes very basic - feed, change, cuddle, rest all you can. Get out for fresh air if you can, but don't worry if you stay in. Rest. Avoid crowded places like malls/supermarkets for a few weeks as a newborn to reduce chance of colds/flu etc. Wash your hands a lot. Get visitors to wash hands before handling the baby.

I found most books patronising or inaccurate or just plain rage inducing (possibly because my baby hadn't got the memo about needing more than a couple of hours total sleep per day.) the kellymom website however was fabulous. Really useful info.

Good luck. Rest. Don't put pressure on yourself. Enjoy them. If you struggle with breastfeeding get help quickly - don't suffer.

Eat, sleep, poop, repeat

Dressing gowns, tea, eating lots of batch made meals, having to turn a blind eye to housework

Crying, both DS and I

Cuddles & a lovely, sleepy, curled up newborn

You should listen to today's Woman's Hour on Radio 4 OP.

Same here SoTheySentMeA. I cried and cried and cried! Also, my baby wanted to be held all the time and wouldn't settle after feeds. I survived night feeds by passing him to DH after the feed. He'd sleep with him in his arms and I got to sleep in peace until the next feed.

You will have just had a baby. Go easy on yourself. Don't try to do too much. With my first and second I was in shock and did far too much. With my third I was still in shock, but didn't leave the house for 3 weeks.

My DS is 5 months so this is fairly recent for me yet sometimes feels like another lifetime already. Most of what has been said above rings true, I just wanted to add that I hope your partner is taking the full 2 weeks off work as for us it really felt like our baby was a joint responsibility as we both spent 100% of our time caring for him and each other in those two weeks. I was breastfeeding so DH dealt with all nappies without question, and it was an amazing time of bonding as a little new family. So excited for you!

Absolutely loved it just as soon as i put down the books and stopped trying to force a routine on ds too soon! I cuddled him (and my currently 10 week old dd) wherever and whenever I could, wherever and whenever they needed it. I coslept. I ignored all the rubbish you hear trotted out about making a rod for your own back and 'spoiling' them. Just as soon as I did all of this, life suddenly became much easier. Seriously, sleep when baby sleeps and enjoy those newborn cuddles as much as possible - they're over way too soon!

I had baby blues for a few days with both of mine and they're pretty awful. It helped to get out and about, even if it was just a 30 minute walk. And take all the help that's offered by everyone.

And yes, for the first few weeks you'll feel like a milk factory and your nipple will be very sore.

I think if you expect to do nothing but feed, eat, sleep and change nappies and keep that expectation for a few weeks then you will feel a lot better if that turns out to be your experience. I put zero pressure on myself ( I'm also a single mum with 2 other kids) and just got through the basics. No guilt. The baby needs lots of snuggles, long feeds and a mum who gets as much rest as possible.
Get your freezer stacked with microwave meals for 1 for lunchtime. And make up a snack box each night so it's easy to grab before a nursing session.
Showers def made me feel more human and were non negotiable for me and I chose it over sleep many times!

Depends on the baby

Baby 1: screaming, pain, tears, exhaustion, more tears, more screaming

Baby 2: looking at baby a lot thinking wtf? You basically just feed and sleep. What the hell is this?

Summery. It's luck of the draw. You might get an easy one where you smugly think 'what the hell do people complain about'? Or you might have problems feeding etc and it be weeks of hell. Whatever happens you'll get through it. And the best bit of advice 'comparison is a thief of joy'.

What straw said above.

My first was an angel. Couldn't understand what everyone moans about.

My second who is 3 weeks old today has been hell on earth. She has silent reflux so has screamed for the past 3 weeks. We get on average 3 hours sleep in 24 hours as it's constant feeding, screaming, changing. She also has hip dysplasia so we are having hospital appts every week and that eats into the time we could be sleeping as typically she is fast asleep at that time. I keep saying to myself it will pass, she will get better but it can be a struggle most days when I have a constant headache from tiredness.

Littlelionsman my DS is 5 weeks and totally agree. You can't spoil a newborn so we have lots of cuddles. I also use a sling as this (tends) to instantly calm DS down.

I'd say lower your expectations - as long as the baby is fed and clean then housework etc takes a backseat. Try to go out on a regular basis - even a walk up to the post-box and back lifts my

*mood

*I had a dreadful time. If you need help and support, or pain relief, because your body has been damaged by the birth, because of how you feel emotionally, because you are anxious, then ask, ask , ask. If you or your baby need medical attention, don't be fobbed off and keep insisting you get it.

I have no happy memories of the 1st 6 weeks of DD1's life - stuff like when and how often things happened were minutae and of little consequence in comparison to what I dealt with and how I felt. It would have been easier to have been run over by a bus and expected to get up and carry on.

I hope you have a better time of it and if things aren't great reach out for help and keep on doing so.*

Agree with this 100%.

I suffered an acute anxiety crisis not that long after birth (including hallucinations/suicidal thoughts/physical tremors) and needed to be admitted to hospital. I have no previous history of mental illness and it was terrifying (particularly the speed at which everything seemed to unravel). Thankfully I received great care and made a full recovery. But I don't really remember (or choose not to remember) much about the first few weeks.

As others have said, be kind to yourself. A healthy mother in body and mind will be able to look after her child.

Congratulations and I hope your birth goes smoothly.