What will the first few weeks with a newborn be like?

[justanotheryoungmother]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently pregnant and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me what your experience was in the first few weeks after having your DC. I'm planning to try breastfeeding, so that may change the experience slightly

Things such as: how often will they feed, how often will they get up in the night etc

Thank you for any experiences that you share

Survival of the momma 😂. Just trying to sleep, breastfeeding problems (when they cry the first week because the milk hasn't come in but the trick is to eat lots of oatmeal and have some malt it makes the milk come I'm faster 😉). Have the partner help out as well, I would breast feed at night and he would change and put baby to sleep you can also do this in the day time if you want to nap. Keep your nipples dry and clean (I learned that the hard way with an infection and a bleeding nipple because they always leaked and where moist). In all it is stressful so ask for help when you need it. Best of luck.

honestly like a bomb has gone off. Looking back I don't know why - but it was. It was like all the things you took for granted, cup of coffee/newspaper/lying down when tired/wearing tight jeans etc etc are suddenly gone.

Also the most love/obsession/joy you will ever feel.

as my sister said to me, you wake up and hear the crying and think "god no, no no" and then you look in the cot/bassinet and your think "oh my god, you are beautiful I love you"

My dh did horrendous call as a doctor and it still didn't prepare us for the lack of sleep.

The best things you can do are:

Talk and sing to your baby from day 1. You will feel like a pratt at the beginning but it is worth it

Don't let a newborn cry - they can't be spoiled at this age.

Lower your standards and your expectations. Wonderful if b-feeding works out but if it doesn't for whatever reason, don't beat yourself up. Every feed your child has is a benefit so if you last for 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or 2 years, you are still doing your best. Wonderful if you are up showered and out of the house walking with the pram at 10 every morning. But if you are still in your pjs feeding the baby in front of the tv that is fine too - baby won't care.

This lowering of expectations applies to labour too by the way.

put some dinners in the freezer before hand (I finally copped this one on my third pregnancy and we didn't cook for about a month afterwards)

Make sure dh is pulling his weight. Minding a baby is hard to describe but the thing is you are solely responsible for the life of a newborn when minding them because they can't do anything to keep themselves alive so it is all on you. there is a mental as well as a physical pressure.

Try to mind yourself too.

Accept good help. Bad help is crap but good help is brilliant. My parents came to stay and would hold the baby for me while I slept, make me breakfast/dinner, make sure I had what I needed. It was lovely. My lovely lovely MIL was even better (she came when they left - I had a difficult delivery). She would wait until I had fed baby in the night and then come out of her room and say "Pallisers if you want to go back to sleep right now, I'll settle him and put him in next to you when he falls asleep" I love that woman.

Excellent post Pallisers I got in the habit of asking people if they could bring food over when they came to see the baby. Everyone was delighted to help and it meant not having to worry about dinner that night.

My Ante Natal class friends kept saying how hard they found it at first but I found it relatively easy. Feeding, sleeping, going with the flow.

The key difference IMO was were were lucky enough to be able to have DP take several weeks off work with me. I think the experience of being a new mum is one of isolation for a lot of mums - the DP is home for two weeks then they're on their own, especially if family aren't near. Simple things like having him there to take the baby while I napped made a huge difference IMO.

The other thing that made it easy was he was an easy baby - and that's luck of the draw, they're all different! (He was a difficult toddler though so it didn't last!)

Congratulations and good luck :)

As a relatively fit and healthy person I didn't expect my own recovery to take so long. I didn't realise for quite a few weeks afterwards how weak I'd been after giving birth (big episiotomy, lost nearly 1.5l of blood). It was only recently that I was able to turn to my OH and say 'I feel like my old self again'. In retrospect I tried to do too much too soon and should have just accepted my need to rest more and be on my feet less.

I remember feeling quite chipper some of the time, and like I was out of my mind at other points.

I remember crying that 'this is what it's going to be like forever' and mourning my old life - being able to 'pop' to places. But this was the early newborn stage where day was night and there was no order to anything. I did NOT enjoy that aspect. But as he grew and he became more predictable e.g. 'Oh, so he will get cranky at 8.45 if he wakes at 7 as he needs a nap', I felt more able to exist as an actual person as opposed to a milk machine. When he started going down for actual naps it was amazing, like 'an actual HOUR OF MY OWN TIME'. It feels like the best gift ever.

That all sounds a bit negative and I've actually really enjoyed the last 3 months on balance. The points I'm trying to make are:

1. the first few weeks are tough on your mind and body but they do pass and suddenly, almost without realising, small changes happen, e.g feeds start happening every 2h instead of 1.5.

1. Look after yourself and do not be scared to make requests 'when I feed the baby I need you to bring me a glass of water' and ask for help.

1. It is a lovely period, though for me I've enjoyed it more since he started responding and reacting to things. I look back with amazement at the fact that he didn't follow us across the room with his eyes, for eg.

1. If you have any sort of assisted delivery or 'all the drugs' ask for laxatives. Like, pronto. My doctor didn't prescribe until day 3 and it took another 2 days for things to get going. For the first 7-8 weeks my toilet habits were the subject of much hand wringing and on days I didn't go I felt awful - really out of sorts. Probably because it was putting pressure on my stitches.

Congratulations again :)

For me, an emotional rollercoaster. Amazing to meet my baby boy, full of love and so many special moments. Although bf for us was not straight forward my son wouldn't latch, lots of professional bf support involved, so ended up using nipple shields which he took to but pain in the arse for me haha, lots of boobing, little sleep, more boobing and more boobing!! It can feel isolating at times but the constant feeding doesn't last forever.

I struggled with feeling inadequate often in first few weeks, think hormones contributed to this and just having so much to learn and actually what your taught/advised doesn't always work for you or your baby so lots of trial and error.

Despite sounding like a neggy nelly becoming a mum is my proudest achievement xx