What will the first few weeks with a newborn be like?

[justanotheryoungmother]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently pregnant and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me what your experience was in the first few weeks after having your DC. I'm planning to try breastfeeding, so that may change the experience slightly

Things such as: how often will they feed, how often will they get up in the night etc

Thank you for any experiences that you share

Crying, sweating, feeding, exaustion but the most utterly beautiful feeling of being in love with a little tiny human.

I'm so excited for you ❤️

It's insane. Nothing anyone says will ever prepare you for it.

First of all, sleep deprivation. Oh my god. At times I was worried for our safety because I was so tired.

Then, the relentlessness of it. Feed (for up to an hour), wind, change, feed, wind, change. At one point DS was feeding every hour at night. I cried a lot.

Also, it's a really intense, emotional time. Your hormones are all over the shop. I have never felt about anything the way I feel about DS - it's terrifying and all-consuming at first. I kept having horrible intrusive thoughts (about dropping him in a swimming pool, amongst other things ) and I cried because I loved him so much and because one day he wouldn't be a baby any more, he'd be a man and I'd never see my baby again Madness. In fact I genuinely felt like I'd gone a bit mad. Holding him and touching him made me feel a bit drunk.

There can be some pain after childbirth. I healed up really well, though I had stitches and I was traumatized by the whole thing (worse than I had ever imagined), but then at two weeks I had a really sudden pelvic inflammation that left me completely immobile. That was awful and so, so painful. The worst thing was that I felt like I couldn't look after my baby properly.

But bloody hell, it's amazing! What an experience. It's completely crazy and intense and hard and awful at times, but the bits that are good are worth all of it. I love being a mum and I'm definitely doing it all again.

Hard. In a lot of pain from the stitches and quite a lot of muscle ache from a long labour. Baby slept, fed, nappy, fed, slept, etc. And 'sleep gent he baby sleeps'? Fine if you never want to go anywhere, eat, shower, wash a dish (mess is a bit depressing!). I got through the first few weeks with the help of Netflix, tea, toast, biscuits and MN. Keep persevering with putting the baby in the Moses basket to sleep.

My DS is 3 weeks. It's been full-on! My expectations are pretty low. As long as he's fed, clean and not crying then I've achieved something.

My advice would be to take all the help on offer. If you have visitors don't be afraid to ask them to bring food round. I've found people are happy to help if you let them.

Sorry to double post but I have those thoughts Fartniss and nightmares of him drowing. Horrible

In addition to what has already been said, it can be very isolating, even boring. It's ok to hate it - things will get better.

I had an emcs so it wasn't what I planned. I couldn't move and I struggled leaning over in bed to feed even with a co-sleeper cot, I had this urge to keep the house tidy as I worried about my son getting ill. But I was too weak and in constant pain! I've no idea why I felt like that but I got so stressed about it. It seems ridiculous now.

Then the first few weeks were over and the hard part started with colic and reflux and cmpa. And then the good part started at 6 months and I love it! My son is nearly 8ms now and it's so much fun. I feel bad saying this but I'd never ever miss those first days! Everyone has different experience though and some people have easy babies and incredibly difficult toddlers etc. Congratulations OP! I'd also say read up on bf, cluster feeding is going to test anyone and it is the work of the devil. My lb fed every 1 1/2 hours then settled on every 2 hours until he was 4 1/2m when I gave it up due to unknown allergic reaction. If I had another baby I'd choose formula feeding. It didn't work for me, I felt trapped and resented my dp and his sleep.

PeachBellini123 Isn't it horrible? I had a nightmare about him drowning two nights ago. It's got better but it hasn't gone away completely. I hope it does.

Depends on your baby,some sleep and are placid.others less so
I know you're planning to bf but buy some formula just in case bf doesn't work, mode of feeding isn't the be end all.despite what some folk say formula isn't bad,and nor is formula feeding second best.
Don't be rigid in applying rules, schedules,or baby ideologies - do what works
Don't compare yourself to other new mum,tempting as it is
Buy sleep suits,I'd say 10.enough fur changes and in wash
Go out daily even just small local walks
Buy comfy joggers or leggings
Buy maternity pads for bleeding
Buy big comfy pants that don't dig in

Get groceries delivered and get the driver to carry them into your kitchen
boots do deliveries,nappies,wipes,most things
Get nice cosy pj and dressing gown for yourself for night feeds
Maybe get a kindle,reading is good and at night the light can be dimmed too
Don't sweat it about housework,it's about you and baby

Please don't listen to those who are negative. Yes, you will be tired, and yes, they will need to be nursed around the clock, but this time is amazing and lovely. You will have this time to bond and relish in the miracle of this new life. It's the best experience you will ever have. Enjoy it in all its imperfection.

In my experience, feeding, feeding. More feeding and then some feeding. Ds fed constantly. The first few days were OK, then I got sore nipple which resolved after a couple of weeks. Nothing major, just adjusting to the constant feeding I think. By 7 weeks we were Co sleeping as he fed every 40 minutes through the night. I hadn't planned to Co sleep but you do what works. He hated nappy changes, especially at night.

I don't remember feeling too exhausted though in the day, but I'd had a c section so was pretty much house bound (live rurally, couldn't drive) for a few weeks which helped.

Saying that, my friends little boy is 7 wks old. She has to wake him to feed every three hours in the day and he sleeps a six hour stretch at night...... Luck of the draw!

To add, I spent my days sitting in my armchair, ds asleep on the feeding pillow, or feeding, looking at him in amazement and wonder. I could Potter about the house with him in one arm. It was blissful. Even with the millions of night feeds.

Oh and yes to the mad thoughts. I was walking across a bridge with ds in his pram. Fairly large river below. Man walking towards me. I had images of this man snatching ds from.his pram and throwing him in. This makes me sound totally mental, and I didn't mention it to anyone irl at the time, but I'm pretty sure I posted on mn and got lots of 'yes, normal to have crazy thoughts' replies.

It depends on your birth and baby.

Experience 1: Shock of quick birth, episiotomy agony, baby screaming round the clock, difficulty feeding, would only sleep on us.

Experience 2: easy birth, no damage, content baby, easy feeding, it mainly slept all day in cot.

Experience 2 is the more fun one (although I was glad it was that way around otherwise I would have been the smuggest first time parent)

Every experience is different, I felt energetic, euphoric and so very happy. Breastfeeding hurt initially but maybe only the first few times. Many people told me such horror stories about their early days, I thought it would be so difficult. But my baby slept well, I felt back to my old self almost instantly and just felt so good. It lasted a good long time too, so much so that I was pregnant again within 6 months because it was just so easy and enjoyable. Second time was much harder; 2 small babies and a move to Asia will do that for you!

Depends on the baby. I've had great experiences with both of mine. Quite difficult labours and tearing with both. But that gave way to an easy and enjoyable breastfeeding experience and the snuggliest newborn cuddles! I've had babies that sleep a lot, and both slept through the night quite quickly (DC1 1 month, DC2 3months). I've honestly really loved the newborn stage with both of them!

Some of my friends have babies with colic, reflux, food intolerance where the mum has to change her diet because she's breastfeeding etc, amd they've not had such easy times. It's luck of the draw really!

Whatever your experience ends up being, try and make the most of it. They don't stay newborn for long!

I remember an odd feeling that I could not believe this is how the Human race had functioned all these years. The tiredness was incomprehensible. But then it got better. And now I'm doing it again

I was completely overwhelmed with emotions. I had read loads of books and spoken to loads of friends who'd already had kids, but I don't think there is any way to be 'prepared'. It was horrific and amazing all combined into one weird blur.

I had a difficult birth so pain and tiredness were main things I just hadn't been prepared for. My body felt like it'd been hit by a bus. I had a cocktail of painkillers etc to take which also had side effects. I cried a lot. Worried a lot. I found breastfeeding really hard but was determined to do it and that really got me down too, then got mastitis so more pain and emotions. I must have been an absolute nightmare.

But on the plus side DS slept a lot more than I expected. I guess he'd probably feed on average every 2 hours. As a newborn would sleep in between. As time went on the gap would get bigger, at the start he might sometimes feed pretty much constantly for a few hours (cluster feed) this could be any time day or night! That's exhausting and I'd worry I didn't have enough milk as I thought was constantly feeding because nothing was coming out, but actually cluster feeding very normal!

He'd sometimes sleep for upto 5 hrs straight from tiny, but not predictable when! But every baby is different. Be prepared for the unpredictable. My biggest advice is to sleep when you can, say no yo visitors if you'd rather sleep, don't worry about housework but try and eat properly, call in any favours offered of help cooking/cleaning if they will do just that and not then hang about for hours getting in the way! Oh and take loads of photos and videos, that cute squishy, stare at for hours teeny tiny baby grows up too quick xx

Would strongly recommend - if at all possible - getting your DP/DH to take more than just a couple of weeks off. Mine did a gradual return to work - so a couple of days a week, then three days, then back to full time and it really helped, especially as we have no family support. That was only about 5 days of annual leave but felt very worth it!

I actually found that it wasn't as bad as I had expected (and my DS is only 13 weeks so it's not like I've forgotten it all yet!). I found that I was so thrilled and excited to have my baby that I didn't find the sleep deprivation as bad as I had expected to. I found that it caught up with me more around the 10-12 week mark - which is probably because my DS still feeds very frequently (still on 3 night feeds..)

I had an episiotomy - ventouse delivery - which was horribly uncomfortable for the first week after birth but then felt better almost overnight.

Definitely agree re: online groceries and would add that it's good, especially if you're breastfeeding, to make sure there's a good amount of healthy snacks on there, plenty of fresh fruit and veg. I was starving when my milk came in and I would be the size of a house if I'd only had biscuits!

Hello and congrats!

All I have to add to the sage advice is this:

One thing I wish I'd known is how to control visiting. We were overwhelmed and inundated with people and post.

The Dutch have a clever tradition of controlling this - baby is born and "Geboortekaartjes" are sent. These are greetings cards with baby's name and DOB on. They are sent to friends and family in the first week or so (delegate to DH!) with the recipients "visiting slot" written inside.

These are never longer than two hours nor two in a day. If baby is asleep when guests arrive - tough. Baby comes first.

The first few days are terrifying, beautiful, magical and crazy. Try not to overextend yourself with well-wishers and always accept help!

By the way, I'm not Dutch but we are away to move to NL. The book "Stuff Dutch Moms Like" has amazing practical advice for life with newborns, applicable to all of us, Dutch or not.

It's amazing and I'm jealous!!!!! Xxxx

I was totally unprepared for the 1-2 hourly demands for feeds.. by about 12 weeks DS had established a routine with longer sleeps.

A friend described it as "having a delicious chocolate cake left on the kitchen table,......"

Ps: if you can, get plenty pre-prepared meals in. Waitrose, Sainsbury's all do lovely stuff that takes 5min in the microwave.

I think in a way that nothing can prepare you for life with a newborn as everyone's experiences vary, and the amount of support around you is important. Lean on your health visitor too, they may not be the most effective people at times but use them as much as you can xx

My ds is now 10 months. Thinking back to the early days I just remember him feeding all the time. At night he would feed and I would read loads of novels and fall asleep feeding him as he would wake up as soon as I unlatched him. Also watched loads on Netflix.

I wasn't prepared for how awful physically I would feel. I had stitches and sitting on them all night feeding was so painful. I tried to go out everyday from day 1 as exercise made me feel so much better.

Just take it in your stride and don't have too many expectations. It's all a stage and now that time seems a distant memory!

Oh and I did loads of batch cooking and froze it, including cake and biscuits, which was a lifesaver!