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Original poster

DH administering medication unnecessarily AIBU?

34 replies

Clareyfairy24 · 20/01/2017 12:51

So, last night I went to Pilates (my weekly 2 hours to myself), was dreading it as DS is breastfed and has started rejecting the bottle, DH left to settle him for bed. I get home and DS is flat out. He refused the bottle apparently, got into a right state, and passed out. Anyway, didn't stir at all when I went to bed which he normally wakes for a dream feed and every 2-3 hours after. DS slept through to 5.30am!!! I was beside myself with happiness, hoping it not just a one off. Called DH at lunchtime today, chatting about actually sleeping last night and DH confesses he gave DS calpol because he was 'stressing'. Am fuming, I feel that giving him medicine for that reason unnecessary and also now feel totally deflated as likelyhood is that's why he slept so well- AIBU?

OP posts:
jimijack · 20/01/2017 12:55

I see your point but calpol doesn't have any sedative properties at all so Can't see how it has made him sleep.

How is baby today?

Gooseygoosey12345 · 20/01/2017 12:56

It's not the end of the world but it's pretty unreasonable of him to medicate his child instead of actually parenting! I'd be annoyed. We could all take the easy route and medicate them but that solves nothing. And it kind of breaks a trust. I would speak to him, find out why he thought it was ok but be sensitive as he is DHs baby too

NannyR · 20/01/2017 13:01

I can see how, faced with a distressed baby and having worked through the mental checklist of "is he hungry, dirty nappy, tired etc" he would have given a dose of calpol in case pain was the issue. Babies can't tell you if they are in pain, so it is guesswork some of the time

The calpol would not have had any effect on sleep (unless it was pain keeping them awake) and one dose would not have caused any harm.

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AssassinatedBeauty · 20/01/2017 13:06

Why do you think it was unnecessary? If your DP had checked all other possibilities, and then gave calpol that sounds reasonable to me. Especially as your baby then settled and slept, which implies that it was pain that was keeping him from sleeping. Could it be teething related?

SolomanDaisy · 20/01/2017 13:30

If calpol made your baby sleep then pain was keeping him awake. It's not a sedative. Your DH did the right thing.

BenefitsQuestions · 20/01/2017 16:33

Calpol doesn't make babies sleep. It does take away pain so they can sleep if pain/teething was keeping them up.

As has been said already, paracetamol isn't a sedative.

Fallonjamie · 20/01/2017 16:38

Yep. Calpol isn't sedating.

AppleAndBlackberry · 20/01/2017 16:43

He probably slept so well because he exhausted himself crying. I used to give my babies calpol if they were crying and wouldn't be comforted at that age because they can't tell you if they're in pain or not. It's a very safe medicine in such low doses.

christinarossetti · 20/01/2017 16:48

Hmm. When mine were babies, I would have felt exactly the same as you. I was ridiculously cautious about giving Calpol or anything else.

Looking back, it would have done no harm if they were very distressed and, as others have said, couldn't tell you when they were in pain.

It is interesting that ds slept so well though. It's probably because he didn't go to bed smelling your milk or close to you though, rather than the Calpol.

My ds was a terrible sleeper who wouldn't take a bottle. I had an emergency hospital admission when he was 8 months old. Dh brought him in to bf during the day but obviously not at night. He refused pretty much all formula, but started sleeping 12 hours a night. He stopped as soon as I got home.

HelsBels5000 · 20/01/2017 16:50

YABU and a little PFB - my 3 DC were given Calpol as a default if they ever had nights like that when every other possibility had been discounted. Usually transpired they were teething or coming down with colds or so on. They can't tell you they are in pain! A dose of calpol will not have drugged your child to sleep, nor is it harmful in the correct dose.

SleepFreeZone · 20/01/2017 16:52

I agree, Calpol does not help sleep unless the thing that is disturbing the sleep is pain. So potentially your husband did a good thing. Soothed the babies pain and allowed you to get a decent nights sleep.

JaxingJump · 20/01/2017 16:56

Your DH was right. The baby must have been fussing from pain/discomfort that the calpol solved. Unless he OD'ed him????

user1478860582 · 20/01/2017 17:00

In a few months the OP will be on here stating that her DH doesn't do enough with the child. Maybe because when he does he gets questioned and told off?

Oblomov17 · 20/01/2017 17:19

YABU and PFB, agree with pp.

starfishmummy · 20/01/2017 17:31

If you are so against the use of calpol, why have it in the house?

TheSmurfsAreHere · 20/01/2017 17:41

I'm with you OP
It was unnecessary to give calpol.
This is a pain killer and unless your DH was crying from pain, it didn't make any difference re his distress nor did it help him to 'calm down'. I'm actually not really sure what on earth your DH thought it would achieve.

It is also not a sedative so will not explain why yur DC slept through (I would stay positive on that one).

However, I do get that when you have a child who is distressed, doesn't calm down etc... you can also 'loose it' and will try anything to calm said child down. We've all done it and it might well be that your DH did just that. Didn't know what else to do, wouldn't think of nothing else so gave him some calpol.

With that in mind, I would have a chat and share with him your reservations about using too much calpol (if you do some search, you will find that yes it IS detrimental to give too much calpol to a young child, part from the obvious issue of the overdose). And then have a chat on what can be done when he is on his own with DC, can't bfed etc...

purplefizz26 · 20/01/2017 17:41

Calpol doesn't cause drowsiness. It's just paracetamol.

Chances are something was bothering the baby that needed pain relief. Even screaming to the point they are worn out could cause a headache etc.

Some mums don't seem to trust their husbands to make decisions about their kids. Like they're not equal parents. If your DH thought pain might be the problem he did the right thing Confused

TheSmurfsAreHere · 20/01/2017 17:44

For those wondering about the use of calpol (within the normal doses ok for the child at that age of course) have a read at that article

Leading paediatrician and professor of general paediatrics at University College London, Alastair Sutcliffe, said parents were overusing paracetamol to treat mild fevers. As a result, the risk of developing asthma, as well as kidney, heart and liver damage is heightened
Obviously it would go for overusing calpol for other reasons ....

TheSmurfsAreHere · 20/01/2017 17:46

I'm wondering who was 'he' in he was stressing.

I read it as the DH was stressing so used calpol as he had no other idea.
It could be the ds in which case, yes he might have been in pain.

But I can't see the OP being upset at her DH giving their DC calpol if they were in pain?? Confused

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 20/01/2017 17:48

Some mums don't seem to trust their husbands to make decisions about their kids. Like they're not equal parents. If your DH thought pain might be the problem he did the right thing

I wholeheartedly agree with this. For the millionth time, calpol is not a sodding sedative! If it helped him sleep it's be a useful he was in pain and the calpol eased it.

ElspethFlashman · 20/01/2017 17:49

Who says he wasn't fussy from pain? Who says it was unnecessary?

You're a better Mum than me, OP, to know for 100% sure the baby wasn't in pain when you weren't even in the house.

ElspethFlashman · 20/01/2017 17:50

smurfs one dose of Calpol is not overuse, FFS.

PostTruthEra · 20/01/2017 17:52

Yabu. Your DH is an equal parent and can make his own decisions about how best to care for his baby. Sounds like the baby may have had a bit of pain and the calpol helped.

Olswitcharoo · 20/01/2017 17:53

Maybe the baby had a headache/stomach ache/teething pain/general pain. How would you know? Give your OH a break! I would do the same thing as him, my children don't have any problems from having Paracetamol when they were babies. You should pat him on the back, he obviously found out (by trial and error) what was wrong and your baby had a lovely nights sleep. Are you maybe a bit miffed that it happened on his watch? My children always slept better up my mums and it bugged me for ages Grin

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