Toilet accidents in public - the etiquette

[Latium123]

We are toilet training DD just now and are only three days in so we have so far stayed pretty close to home. Provided things go well over the next week then we will carry on and start to try and resume normal activities and going out and about.

My question is, how do we handle toilet accidents in public? For example, if in a cafe or a shop and your child does a wee on the floor what do you do? Do you carry towels or kitchen roll or something with you at all times to mop it up? Do you just tell a member of staff at the premises and leave it to them? Obviously you have to get your child changed out of the wet clothes asap too. I'm getting a bit stressed trying to work out how much stuff we have to lug around with us every time we go out and how to deal with accidents in public so that I can prioritise DD but not piss off everyone around us. I also have a 4 mo DS to think of too so if we are all out together I can imagine this getting a bit stressful. Any thoughts / experience would be appreciated. Thanks.

You have to ask if you should leave your child's piss in a cafe for staff to clear up?!

Yes, if your kid pisses on the floor you have to clean it up! take kitchen roll and anti back wipes.

I don't think you should be in cafes etc if they're going to have that kind of accident - by the time they're ready to go nappy free (generally only a few days into potty training if they're ready) you should be able to go out and about provided you include very frequent toilet stops/reminders. You might get the odd wet pants or trousers, sure, but not actual puddles! Asking if they need to go should become second nature.

You ask staff if they have something you can clean it up with. Would you really ask expect someone else to clean up your child's wee? (Or if it's early learning centre and they refuse to let your dc use the staff toilet and your dc subsequently wees all over their floor you walk out leaving the puddle for them to deal with)

Harsh replies! Some children can be generally fine but still have occasional accidents. I would expect a cafe to be able to provide the cleaning materials. Would offer to do the wiping up though!

I never took kitchen roll and anti bac wipes out. We visited a lot of toilets though and had few public accidents

Of course you don't leave cafe staff to clean up the wee. That's not their job.

Flash wipes and kitchen roll.

If they are ready to be out of nappies then this shouldn't be an issue. If they're ready, then within 24 hours to one week of getting into pants for the first time you should be able to go out and about as normal and know you will have time to get to the loo.

I had an awful moment the other day, my toddler wet herself in the shop at Lego land the other day. I was on my hands and knees mopping it up with wet wipes which wasn't working. I had to then whip my scarf off and soak it all up with that!! Then had to carry around a wet scarf all day!! Have taken kitchen roll and anti bac every where just in case.

You're overthinking this.

Start with short trips out. Take her to the loo before you leave the house. Ask her if she needs to go / take her to the loo once you get to your destination.

If you anticipate a long trip with no easy access to a loo use a pull up ("travel knickers").

Basically, if you make sure her bladder doesn't get full to bursting you'll end up with a change of pants and trousers rather than a puddle on the floor.

I used waterproof pants with both of mine when we got to the going out stage (surprisingly tricky to find outside of mothercare). Ideal solution really, for my two - they got the feeling of the wet pants for a minute or two while we found somewhere to change (which seemed to help with the recognition of "really should tell mum I need to go") but avoided puddles on the floor.

Thanks BananaPie, I think you're right, I am overthinking it and worrying too much.

Of course I don't anticipate she will be having that many accidents (if I did we wouldn't have started potty training), everyone, it's just a what to do if and when that does happen. And of course, I will be taking her to the toilet frequently. I was just wondering if there are any tips for dealing with it and whether everyone goes out armed with all the wiping and cleaning materials etc or if there are other ways. Overthinking it, I think.

My son has had lots of accidents but they are all just wet trousers. It never soajs through.

My ds2 was very hard to toilet train. Hes now almost 5 and still occasionally wees himself. He never made a puddle or anything though. I always had wet wipes and a change of clothes. If he had weed in eg a cafe I would have asked for cleaning materials. Honestly though I usedto makehim go as soon as we arrived and try again before leaving. Lots of toilet visits and reminders at that stage but it is a lot easier now! Incidently, ds1 who was a doddle to toilet train currently has a uti and his accidents have caused huge puddles.

Agree with some posts being harsh, its a perfectly fine question to ask.

Good luck with potty training hope its better than ds2

I think you're overthinking. We trained our ds recently and we never got "puddles" but got caught out with wet pants and trousers a few times (not many).
On the other hand my friend's son has been "training" for about 5 months and still has daily accidents.
If they're ready they're ready.

My DS had an 'accident' of the brown kind when he was 7 at Epcot - he farted and followed through - I panicked and we left in haste. A more sensible and prepared mum would have taken him into the loo, binned his pants, cleaned him up and put him in new pants from one of the on site shops. Me? I whipped him straight back to the hotel and spent half an hour trying to clean the pants...

If you are worried of a big puddle then use Training pants, the mothercare and boots ones are plastic lined and bloody awful, avoid! I loved the BrightBots ones, and Bambino Mio have some nice ones that were just being sold on offer in Aldi a couple of weeks ago, I believe some stores have them still in stock on sale. Try Babipur.com for a range of other different brands.

But I found that accidents just meant wet trousers, no large embarrassing puddle. You could just be conscious of clothes, dress them in jeans or jogging bottoms rather than skirts and tights or leggings? Take them the toilet as soon as you arrive somewhere, if they have an accident shortly after its not going to be a big one.

I work in a big shop - I have no issues at all if someone tells me there's been an accident, and tbh I'd rather know even if you've wiped it up as I can get the cleaners to come mop it properly. Better that than leave it for me to find later... (that goes for drinks/crisps/chocolate/noses wiped on stock)

When I potty trained my own we based all our trips around toilets. If we went into a large store we'd hit the loos first for a 'try' and then pop back at least every 1/2 hour. I think we were very lucky tbh, the only accident I remember was in a playground.

We took a towel out with us in the beginning and had very few accidents, which were of the wet clothes variety, not puddles on the floor. DD was very anxious using the toilet out and about in the beginning so we used a potette for about the first 2-3weeks.

It gets easier very quickly- I had to fly with DD 5 days after starting toilet training (she initiated the training!) and she point blank refused a nappy/pull up/training pants so I was draping towels everywhere she sat in airport/on plane but she didn't have any accidents. Possibly her urgent roar of "I need wee wee NOW" alerted the entire plane to make sure they let her in the toilet first!

Thanks Mrs Dmitri, I in no way meant to offend anyone suggesting asking staff in shops for help. It was more along the lines of a safety issue, if there was a puddle to make sure it was mopped up and also for cleanliness so that is interesting to hear your take on it. I have obviously hugely offended others on here at the suggestion though. Actually, the suggestion to alert a member of staff came from another mummy I was having a conversation with. I am more of the be prepared and clean it up yourself type which is why I was posting on here to ask for experience and tips. I have learnt my lesson now though. Maybe I could have made my original post clearer.

Anyway, since yesterday we have only had one accident and nothing so far today so I think she is ready and she is asking to go and managing to do a wee when she does. So I think all in all it is going quite well. I just wanted to be prepared in case there is a future accident.

I would just ask if they have something to clean it with most often the staff need to sanitize the area so clean it with a mop and bucket. Ds potty trained early but had a few accidents over the years I have never ever seen anyone whip out kitchen roll and anti bac wipes.

DS started using the toilet/potty of his own accord when naked (a lot during the summer at home) but struggled to remember when clothed (thought he had a nappy on maybe?). Anyway, point is I used pull ups when out and about during this transition until he was more reliable (only took a few days). After that we have never have full scale accidents when out, just a little dribble if he's left it too late and a bit got out before we reached a loo so nothing to clean up other than a new pair of pants even that's only if the dribble patch shows

If you put her in thick tracksuit trousers then they'll absorb most of the wee so you won't get puddles and you can just change her clothes

Get a potette travel potty (and line with food caddy waste bags - miles cheaper). I got pretty shameless about whipping it out outdoors. It's also a little seat for on the loo.

TBH you have to get pretty dogmatic about doing wees when you arrive somewhere/before sitting down to eat/before leaving somewhere for the first 5years It'll be a long time before there are zero accidents as they get distracted etc.

I would ensure they wear something absorbent - trousers are more forgiving than a dress?