OMG I've just been told off at toddler group

[Lizalu]

My ds and two other boys were running around and we were told to stop them. I didn't really see why but I did. Then I was having a quick chat with another mum and ds started being a bit disruptive with a toy cooker so was on my way to sort it out when one of the old biddies came and told me to control my son - to take my hands out of my pockets and go and play with him - that my ds isn't like other children - that she has been running it for 14 years and if I don't like the rules I should leave.

I am just so angry my ds wasn't behaving any differently to any other toddler.

Oops!!

This is why we stay at home....I feel like a toddler myseld if I take ds, as I have to run around after him....

Well i'd have told her where to go tbh.

thats a bit harsh!
what did you say to her?

i bet your bloody livid now.

blardy hell!!

this sort of thing makes me really

i run a mums and tots group..and i jsut cannot believe some of the horrible things that mums experience at some groups

what a shame

toddlers are made to run around and shout and play !!!

I asked why they couldn't run and she said it upsets people. When I said who she couldn't answer but then said 'me for a start'!

I pointed out that what she was saying wasn't supporting me with dealing with a toddler. Thats when she told me I should leave. I was going to but other mums persauded me to stay.

I am tempted to get ds to down a couple of fruit shoots before we go next week and then let him loose on her.

Ooo I want to come to your group LM

that's horrible!

what a mad old biddy... the whole point of toddler group is for the kids to play while the mothers get a chance for adult conversation ffs!

it is lovely.....unlimited biscuits !

and no shouting !

sounds to me like shes had enough of running a toddler group.
why doesnt she do a twee little coffee morning if she wants peace and quiet.

I am not going to let her get away with it but not decided what to do yet. There isn't really anyone to complain to but might write a letter to disribute to the other women that run it.

lizalu...is it a group run on behalf of an organisation, say, sure start ? Or just by a bunch of women?

i would be wary of giving letters to other people...i would certainly write a calm, balanced letter to her though.....and see what her reaction is

and then set up my own better group

Was she with with anyone else when she confronted you?

I would get her on her own next time and tell her what you think.
Its completley unreasonable of her to expect your ds to keep quiet, not run or touch anything.

Does she live in Cuckoo land or something. What a total numpty.
FFS, am bloody fuming for you, lol.

this is putting me off having the nerve to go to mine for the first time this week!

she'd want to meet my dd

the shock to her system might send her into retirement

Oh fgs!!

If people running these groups don't like noisy toddlers running around then they are doing the wrong job! So long as it's not dangerous to anyone else or damaging toys then what the hell is the problem?

Daft old biddy! Ask her, does she know that's what toddlers^ do!!!

DetentionGrrl - I go to another group that is lovely don't be put off. This one is run in the church hall by women that go to the church. You're right lulumama - just feeling angry at the mo but will try to deal with it calmly next week.

There were no other helpers around but the mother I was talking to was there. If she really had an issue she should have taken me aside for a quiet word.

It's the 'ds isn't like the other children' that has really upset me. It was unjustified but who does she think she is to judge ds or my parenting.

of course you are angry ...and rightly so !

she had no right to judge and make a nasty remark about a child

"go and play with him"?

I thought toddler group was there so I can sit and chat to my friends while our children play with each other?!

I don't think I would be going back to that one Lizalu

You poor thing - not surprised you are angry and upset.

I don't think I would waste my time going there again. I would make very sure to tell everybody why not as well. The whole point is they are supposed to be fun for the children. (I used to take my ds to one where out of the blue the committee decided to ban the mini cars and all running as it was 'too noisy'. We stopped going to that one.)

If you do write, and it's connected to the church, why don't you copy it to the vicar? It's hardly the inclusive, friendly image they want, is it?

Is it a Church toddler group, then? Or does it happen to be in the church hall, but independent of the church?

Could you perhaps ask the vicar for a copy of the "Rules", and say that you want to make sure that you and ds know how to behave if you go back again?

Chances are, there aren't any rules, and the old biddy is of the "children should be seen and not heard" brigade.

I would seriously consider leaving this group, and letting whoever is in charge know why!

I think I will stop going. I don't know why I put myself through it. We also get told to make sure our children eat all their snack as the ladies in the kitchen work so hard. Children who can't sit still for stories are asked to leave the room.

There is a waiting list for the toddler group and the church hsa recently had big grants to do up the building for it's 'community' work.

totally unrealistic expectations....