Worried I haven't bonded with screaming baby

[PigletBank]

My DD is 9 weeks old and I'm really struggling.

I was so naive, I really thought I'd enjoy the newborn phase (!) but I don't. She's a real screamer - not just the typical evening colic but on and off pretty much all day. Today I decided to time it and she has been crying for nearly four hours already - and we will probably get even more this evening...

As a result I'm not getting out and about much. I don't go to any baby groups as it's too embarrassing standing in the corner jiggling a red faced screaming baby while the other babies lay there gurgling happily. I'm dont really like to have old friends over to meet her - they all want to come over "for a cuddle", little do they know that DD is the least cuddly baby ever. Most days I go out for long lonely walks with the pram or sling, but that's about it.

I've been trying to be strong but today I just broke down in tears while DD was having another one of her screaming fits. I feel I hardly have any of those lovely special moments you are supposed to get with a new baby.

I'm so fed up and lonely and worried I'm going to start resenting her. I can't believe I'm writing this as its so awful but I'm starting to have moments where I wonder what the hell I've done. I definitely don't feel we've bonded at all.

Go to go, she's crying again. Did anyone else have this? Tell me it gets better??

How did you get on with your GP?

GP appointment was ok - she wasn't dismissive at all and said this level of crying is quite excessive and we should try and get to the bottom of it if we can. She did also say though that it might just stop around at 13ish weeks, as seems to have happened for a few previous posters, and we'll just never really know the cause.

She suggested upping the omeprazole dose but I'm not sure about that as I'm not 100% convinced the problem is reflux and it's a strong drug. She has referred us to the paedeatrician although that will take a while. She's also happy for us to try neocate in case it's an allergy, the pharmacy had to order it so can start at the end of the week.

Bizarrely though DD has napped for four hours today even though I haven't done anything differently?? Not sure what's going on there but not complaining!!

fleur your experience sounds v similar! I'm glad you got through it in the end.

Thanks so much for all the offers to meet, MN is full of lovely people. Sadly I live in the middle if nowhere so probably not near any of you

Hi Piglet, I haven't read through last couple of pages but I see your GP has suggested Omeptazole so obviously thinking reflux. My 3 dds all had reflux and were very distressed and poor feeders as a result - most likely secondary to cows milk protein intolerance. For them a specialised formula alone did not help, they needed medication. The dose of Omeptazole will be so tiny that if I were in your shoes I would try it for a couple of weeks to see if it helps. we tried neocate and nutramigen - the smell is awful and my dd2 hated it.

DS was a screamer. I'm another one who was "that mum" at baby massage class! It was so painful to attend!

What helped DS was colief in his formula, and time. I barely left the house for the first 4 months as I couldn't stand the looks and comments no baby is not hungry, I fed him 2 minutes ago so eff off . Once he learned to roll over, he got happier. He got happier still when he learned to crawl.

I now have a 14 month old who can almost walk, and I get asked "is he always this happy?". It feels a world away from the newborn phase. I was so low and isolated. I think DS hated being a baby and is much happier now. It's much easier to bond with someone who doesn't seem to hate everything!

Hang on in there. This too shall pass.