My baby is completely different to other babies....

[Pennybrown86]

I have posted about my LG once before so apologies. I'm not really looking for advice, just support and maybe hope....

She is 10.5 weeks old, delivered by forceps and formula fed. We had a traumatic time with breastfeeding and despite a significant level of support, she just wouldn't do it. Since she was about 10 days old she has been very different to other babies.

She is incredibly alert and active but extremely unsettled. Even when she was 10 days old there would be hours and hours where she would be awake and crying and just wouldn't settle to sleep (worse in the day). She used to settle in the pram but not any more so i don't really go out with her as she is so incredibly loud, she screams instead of crying and it is ear piercing.

I now have longer stretches where she is happy, kicking around on her playmat but she will go from smiling to screaming within seconds and she often becomes inconsolable. I can now get her to take naps in the day but it involves either holding her or with her in the sling and walking up and down the hallway for about 20mins and she will only ever nap for 40mins at a time and I can't put her down. She often takes over an hour to get to sleep at night, she used to sleep for long stretches but she now wakes frequently and I often end up putting her in the bed next to me to get her to sleep.

She is incredibly sensitive, she screamed the house down at 5am when my husband sneezed this morning!

I have lots of friends with babies and my LG is so utterly different to theirs. I wouldn't wish for a different baby, but people keep telling me that things will get easier but they haven't at all.

Apologies for the long post - does this sound ANYTHING like anyone's baby? Did anyone have a baby like this and things actually did get easier?

Ha ha! Yes, I have one too - good to know there are so many out there cos when yours is the one screaming the place down there only seem to be 'normal' babies everywhere. I was the only one of my peers with one of these......still am. He doesn't need much sleep, always on the go, sensitive and loud, bloody amazing kid but still exhausting!

Have you seen the doctor yet?

My DD was extremely alert from day 1, didn't sleep much and constantly screamed. After months of going to the doctor she had a medical diagnosis and then at 2 diagnosed with autism.

She could be in some kind of pain, best get her checked out.

My (formula fed) daughter was like this, constantly pissed off, never slept except on my chest, needed to be held all the time, would scream in the pram. Turned out she had cows milk protein allergy and reflux. Baby gaviscon and special formula changed her personality overnight. She is such a content and happy toddler now and a good sleeper.

We were up every hour in the night and maybe for half an hour at a time so we were sleeping in 15minite stints. I think I may be put in an asylum by her first birthday!

PennyBrown - sorry to hear about last night, and yes to keeping in touch. (Is there such a thing as a private inbox on here?). It's always comforting to know we are not the only ones.

To get a bit of sleep, have you tried doing 'shifts' with your partner? For example, he looks after your baby the first four hours of the night, you go and sleep in another room and he'll bring your DC to you for a feed if necessary (sorry, can't remember if you are bf and can't check as I only have one hand available at the moment...), then it's your turn for your shift,etc. That's what saved us at first when our daughter would not go into her cot or moses basket day or night.... Admittedly it's not so easy if your partner is working but hopefully he could manage to relieve the burden a little?
Today mine had her second set of immunisations.... obviously cried after the jabs, I did not pay that much attention to it as it was her usual, daily kind of cry but it stopped short the two nurses. You should have seen the look on their faces- they went: "Oh my, that's one angry cry!".... and they see and hear babies cry every day.... People with 'normal' babies don't have a clue what we are going through.

I have 'alert' babies. Last three born with precocious head control and DD rolled over during her newborn check. Never content, never still, constant need for human touch.

I gave up on the premise that they find their own way to sleeping and not needing to be held all the time. We co-sleep or we wouldn't sleep at all.

DS is 14 weeks now and is starting to enjoy chair and play mat time two or three times a day without screaming. He's stopped screaming in the car but we've not tried him in the pram yet after the first time when he screamed. I'm just trying to focus on the improvements rather than how boring everything is and how restricted we are. Doing otherwise would ruin me.

DS2 was like this, right from the moment of birth! The very first thing I thought after he was delivered, before I even saw him, was 'Bloody hell, he's LOUD!'.

Turned out to be silent reflux. We tried Gaviscon, ranitidine, you name it, but nothing much helped until he was put on a combo of ranitidine and omeprazole if I remember rightly. It still didn't make a massive difference.
The reflux is gone now, but DS is still exceedingly loud at almost 4YO.

I'd go back to your GP and see if there's anything else they can try, or ask for a referral to a paediatrician. I got told DS was 'normal' a lot, but I knew something wasn't right and kept pushing for an answer.

I don't think anyone knows the answer as to whether babies are born like that or something is wrong (too tired etc). Have u read the baby whisperer? Quite interesting as she says there are definite types. I had a textbook 'angel' baby. Planned c section (breech) and barely cried. The midwife commented on the day he was born what a good sleeper she thought he'd be and sure enough he slept through from 9 weeks and was and is pretty happy all day long!Well bar the occasional toddler tantrum (he's 2). And the milestones (the wonder years app is quite interesting on that). He seems to have this v easy going happy personality. I bet you it'll all change in the teenage years!! I was quite Gina Fordish on the nap and feed times and black out blinds and all that for the first 4 months or so and he was happy as long as he wasn't hungry or tired. I found the baby whisperer signs quite helpful to work this out. Also, I thought he was v alert but around 10 weeks i was trying to stimulate him too much..he suddenly got grizzly and i realised i'd be popping him in his bouncy chair for too long and he'd get knackered. So..the point is i reckon there are different personality types but really recommend looking at baby whisperer and the dreaded Gina for some helpful tips. And if you are really frazzled and can afford it, I'd recommend a maternity nurse for a few days to assess them and give u a break. Good luck.

Ps sleep is everything. U can cope with a lot when u have slept. Get DP to get up in the night working or not!

OP, if you're still around - have things got any easier? I think I'm pretty much where you were when you started this thread, also looking for hope!!

I'm affraid not! Id say things are worse than ever- I can't even leave the house because she screams so much in the pram and the car!! If things do get better....it's slow....although I can't say our circumstance is the same as everyone's!

Oh god! Poor you. I take it you're no closer to finding a "reason" for her unsettled behaviour?

Hope you're ok and that things get better soon...

No, we're finally trying omeprazole for 2 weeks but if there's no change, it's just going to be put down to her nature. I found this article and found it strangely helpful, make sure you read it all the way to the end!
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/family-affair/200806/the-secret-life-the-difficult-infant
What's your situation? I'm not sure if you commented earlier, so sorry if you did!

Thanks, I'll take a look!

I'm in the same position you were when you started the thread, DD is 10 weeks, doesn't sleep and cries all the time! Everyone said it would get better at 6/8/10 weeks and it hasn't, so now here I am hoping it will all be better at that magical three month point...I'm preparing myself mentally though in case it's not.

Doctors have also suggested reflux to us so we're trying the meds. I'm sceptical though. We've also got a different milk to try in case it's allergies. To be honest though I just think she's overtired...but she will.not.sleep. So it's a vicious circle.

How are you coping? I have good days and bad days, threads like these really help so I don't feel so alone. It's funny how many similarities there are between DD and the other babies on this thread. In real life I find it hard to discuss with people as they just don't really get it and if anyone else suggests I try white noise or a sling I might have to punch them

Sounds like my DD too! Everyone says she's so alert, also very sensitive to noise and light. My health visitor said she is one of those babies that doesn't like being a baby and wants to be older! She is much better now at 7 months, and started to improve initially at around 3-4 months. It is still tough when I see mums with easy-going babies compared to my intense DD, but my mum keeps trying to comfort me by saying she must be very intelligent!

Ah Cocolocos that is what I want to hear...I seriously hope DD is a bit more manageable at 3/4 months.

So interesting that so many of these babies were very strong and feisty from day 1. DD was the same, she could hold her head up practically from day 1. When I was in hospital after giving birth to her I had a cannula in my hand and she managed to pull it out at just a few hours old! I wonder what it is that makes our babies this way....

That's funny, my DD held her head up immediately too and reached up to grab at my mouth when we were skin to skin in theatre after my c section! Everyone commented even then that she was "so alert". I should have forseen the trouble ahead!

I force myself out of the house. I go to any baby group I can (even though my sole purpose is to make other people feel better!) and go anywhere that it is remotely acceptable to have a screaming baby- we're lucky enough to have a baby friendly cafe in town. Other than that I grab onto the positives, if she smiles or makes a happy noise I feel happy about it. Me and my OH do shifts - we take it in turns putting her down at night and the other one does something (has a bath, cooks dinner, goes for a run etc) and we do shifts at night so that the other gets a block of sleep.

During the day when I'm at home by myself I focus on the skills I'm developing. I used to be an impatient control freak but I have had to let go of that. I try to focus on the fact that I have to provide her with the love and care that she needs, and to try and comfort her any way I can. I do not read parenting books and I do not care about 'bad habits' or 'making a rod for my own back' and I've stopped looking for a miracle cure.

I also find that writing in a 5 year diary every single night is cathartic, I see the blank 4 years on each page knowing that things will get better in that time, there is no way a 5 year old will cry all day!

It's tough though and sometimes I wonder if someone has trapped me in some nightmare and just cry. But, we've gotta just keep going!!

Ah OP it sounds like you're coping really well!

I'm impressed you still go to baby groups, I'd basically given up on them as I found it too embarrassing but the loneliness isn't really helping!

I know what you mean about having to adapt to the baby you have. I'm the opposite to you I think, quite a "go with the flow" type of person but I have had to introduce a loose routine. If I didn't, DD would quite literally never sleep, I'm sure of it!

For the past four days I've been trying to break the overtired cycle as a poster above suggested, so we've been doing a makeshift sleep school. After one hour awake it's either straight in the sling for a long walk or straight in the car for a long drive. It seems to be helping so far but if she misses even one nap we're straight back to square one.

Slightly worried that this is my life for the next many, many months! I'm completely exhausted! Ah well, it was my idea to have children DH has never said this to me but I know he's thinking it

Reading that back, I think "loose" routine is probably not the right description!

My DS3 was like this and it was dairy intolerance. He had to go on to Neocate amino acid formula which is completely dairy free, the partially hydrolysed Nutrimagen formula still gave him pain. The really awful thing is how subtle the symptoms are. People expect babies to cry and not sleep well so it's hard to differentiate between normal and allergies/intolerance. My DS3 wasn't diagnosed until 15 months and within a week of going dairy free he started smiling. Before that he could never be properly happy as he was always in pain.

Oh sympathies, OP! Hang in there. Mine was like that, including screaming her head off in the pram and car seat. Would only nap when attached to me and preferably moving, had to be held alllllll the time, yelled when she was put down, just seemed to hate being a baby. (She was also holding her head up from birth - interesting that seems to be a thing!)

Anyway she got a bit better around 5 months when she could move around by rolling. She got much better with the pram when she could go in the buggy bit and face forward rather than the carrycot - even started napping in there. Once she could crawl around 8/9 months she was so much happier and she didn't want to be held anywhere near so much, she just wanted to be off exploring. One of her first words was "Down!"

She's now 2 and pretty intense, but I don't think extremely so for a toddler. She will nap in her cot and chat happily in the car seat, and she talks loads so it's much easier for her to tell us what's bothering her rather than just scream about it. It gets better!

I was very pleased my DD could hold her head up from birth. I thought wow, what a developmentally advanced child we have! Aren't we clever!

After this thread, if my next child can hold their head up from birth I will be gutted

Still, I guess it can't be that bad if I haven't completely ruled out another one!

Mine.

He's forteen now and is amazing. Things improved after a few months. I think he was alert as he's really quite bright, he's sensitive in a good way now. Hang in there!

We've tried neocate but she point blank refused it because it tastes so nasty, I don't blame her so if she is dairy intolerant we may not know until i start weening her.

Pigletbank, im impressed you're thinking about having another one, we have decided that we cannot risk having another one like this!!!! Someone take my ovaries! Sounds like you're being very proactive, sleep is one of the main causes of DDs crying too. Where do you live? If you happen to live near me, our 2 cab have a scream off!