My baby is completely different to other babies....

[Pennybrown86]

I have posted about my LG once before so apologies. I'm not really looking for advice, just support and maybe hope....

She is 10.5 weeks old, delivered by forceps and formula fed. We had a traumatic time with breastfeeding and despite a significant level of support, she just wouldn't do it. Since she was about 10 days old she has been very different to other babies.

She is incredibly alert and active but extremely unsettled. Even when she was 10 days old there would be hours and hours where she would be awake and crying and just wouldn't settle to sleep (worse in the day). She used to settle in the pram but not any more so i don't really go out with her as she is so incredibly loud, she screams instead of crying and it is ear piercing.

I now have longer stretches where she is happy, kicking around on her playmat but she will go from smiling to screaming within seconds and she often becomes inconsolable. I can now get her to take naps in the day but it involves either holding her or with her in the sling and walking up and down the hallway for about 20mins and she will only ever nap for 40mins at a time and I can't put her down. She often takes over an hour to get to sleep at night, she used to sleep for long stretches but she now wakes frequently and I often end up putting her in the bed next to me to get her to sleep.

She is incredibly sensitive, she screamed the house down at 5am when my husband sneezed this morning!

I have lots of friends with babies and my LG is so utterly different to theirs. I wouldn't wish for a different baby, but people keep telling me that things will get easier but they haven't at all.

Apologies for the long post - does this sound ANYTHING like anyone's baby? Did anyone have a baby like this and things actually did get easier?

Have you tried gripe water? Napping does get easier over time.

Oh the nights of pacing from room to room trying to find anything to interest a distraught baby for a few minutes before he started crying again..

DS1 wasn't quite as taxing as your little one I think, but he was very, very hard work. He didn't sleep through until he was 18 months, it took an hour to get him to sleep until he was 3.5. I remember the first time I left him with anyone it was my MIL when he was 1. DP and I came back after 3 hours to find MIL, shattered, outside sitting on the wall having a cigarette while FIL paced the living room trying to calm DS1 (they were lovely, and felt we really needed a break so didn't call us) - we'd been able to hear the screaming from the end of the road.

He has calmed down, is now completely easy to put to bed (puts himself if he gets tired and we're not moving fast enough).

It does get easier.

I had a high needs baby and that's what you seem to describe.

Things that helped:

The realisation that he was very easily over stimulated - he did much better in a 'clean' sleep environment, ie a dark room on his own

He cried when he was falling asleep. He cried in his cot, pram, on me, car seat. Whichever way. Falling asleep on his own in his cot was the least crying, on me was the longest.

He hid his tired signs. I just had to clock watch - when he'd been awake for x amount of time, I'd put him in his cot for a nap, he'd cry and go to sleep.

He was much better when he was napping enough.

It did improve hugely with each milestone - becoming mobile was a huge one as the frustration at being still stopped. Sitting up and weaning stopped his constant vomiting. Talking too.

His most difficult stage so far has been his baby stage and he is an only child. He was an easy toddler and could take him anywhere - those with 'easy' babies often struggle a lot more when their baby is destroying everything because it's all relative.

I'll jump on the bandwagon too and say she sounds just like my first! I struggled to take her out anywhere because it was all such hassle and nobody seemed to enjoy it... but keep trying!

She was very frustrated I think with everything, earlier walker and talker (now doesn't shut up!) But things seemed to ease a little when she got more independence.

She also is intolerant to milk (not allergic!), took till I started weening her before I realised what had been making her so unhappy and grumpy - might be worth investigating?

Also, I second thd above, you are not alone there are loads of 'unhappy' babies but their parents tend to just keep quiet about it, you will grt through the worst and start functioning a bit more clearly!

Ranitidine didn't help my DS. We didnt try gaviscon as he was bf and it was too faffy.

there are loads of 'unhappy' babies but their parents tend to just keep quiet about it

Absolutely

Are they a good baby? Oh yes nah, they're a little shit can't you tell my by eye bags that they're a little screaming sleep thief

Oh god, I had one of those and he's now the most wonderful 14 year old. However, two things

1. cranial osteopathy LIFE CHANGING
2. see if she has a milk protein allergy

Once we'd sorted those things our life improved dramatically. He still didn't sleep through until he was 4 and was hard work until about 5 but he wasn't anywhere nearly so unsettled and unhappy.

You poor thing, I feel like I wrote this all those years ago.

there are loads of 'unhappy' babies but their parents tend to just keep quiet about it

So much this. So much! I'm quietly struggling with 2 but if you saw me at playgroup I'd breeze in all family with ds2 in the sling and say something self-deprecating about wanting more sleep before asking how you are. Not because I'm interested in you (I am but you'll see what I mean) but because if I talk about how hard I'm finding it I'll cry.

Family? Cheerily!

The dangerous question "and how are you coping?"

Yeah! "Oh fine, fine, hasn't your child got lots of lovely hair already?" 😂😂😂

DS2 is very high needs. He cried for the first 3 months of his life unless he was attached to my boob! No one could hold him and I avoided going out too much.
He's almost 10 months now and he still likes to be held and carried around a lot but he is much better. It's hard not to compare but I know you shouldn't. I'm hoping harder baby = easy toddler

Just to let you know: it's. It your fault! Some babies are born like that.

DD was totally different. From day 1 in the hospital. Slept in the buggy. Slept alone in the cot.
Hard to believe they both came from the same parents!

I had one of these too. She cried for 3 months would only nap on me. She is now 5.5 months and has massively chilled out. If it's not too tempting I think you might be on the cusp of her improving at 3 months.

I could 't believe how many people commenting when I was walking around d with a screaming pram.. Or have kind smiles. People just understand and are lovely about it.

Oh and you haven't said but if she is your first, my screamer is my second and totally different to my chilled out first born..

Kx

I know lots of babies like this. My DS included when he was that age ex rot it was like it for day 1 not day 10.

I can absolutely relate to EVERYTHING Diddly says above. There was nothing medically wrong with my DS, I diagnosed that he was a massive pain in the arse.

The first few months with him were awful but now (19 months) he is a joy (err mostly). I'm 33 weeks pregnant now and honestly dreading another him, I just don't think I could cope.

My absolute advice is to get her sleeping regularly during the day. It is imperative. I am willing to bet she's massively over tired. Also, completely limit stimulation to absolute minimum. I didn't watch TV ever in DS' presence and removed him from any environment where it was on. It drove him bonkers.

Oh and I'm holding out for the teenage years of the super babies... They'll get theirs then!!!

DS1 was like this plus vomiting. He has severe reflux and nothing worked until very strong meds at 12 months. He's still on it aged 4.5! (Since diagnosed with milk intolerance- wish we'd known that years earlier- maybe he'd have slept through before turning 3...)

DS2 was a dream in comparison- lots of struggles we thought came from babies turned out to be just DS1!

We are not having a third because I could not face another refluxer

It definitely gets easier though

Oh yes I should say, that DS is also (to my mind) a relatively easy toddler (although I'm sure if you search by threads on here, some days would tell a very different story!).

I can do pretty much anything with him and it's not a problem. We often eat out etc (but we are still SUPER strict about his naps and routine in general which I think helps)

DD was a lot like that when she was tiny. I found it was mostly frustration, she wanted to be involved in everything.

She needed more stimulation while awake, so I sat her up in the pushchair rather than lie her down so she could see what was happening, carried her everywhere in a sling, put her in a bouncer where she could watch me do housework

When she was tired she needed the opposite - a quiet, darkened room with no stimulation at all - she could never sleep in the living room while we watched telly as she couldn't seem to switch off.

There was a marked improvement once she was old enough to move to whatever she was interested in, and she was an early crawler/walker I think because she was just so nosy

Thank you everyone for your comments. My theory on it is that she is frustrated, she is very sensitive (she is often tired when she is screaming and I'm not relatively good at getting her to sleep - just not putting her down) and she is massively aware of everything around her - she watches everything - the HVs are always saying that she is more alert than other babies her age (they were saying that when she was 3 weeks). She wants to be looking at something and moving all of the time.

The last few weeks have been slightly easier as she can entertain herself for longer and she is smiling and laughing (so it makes it seem worth it!!).

I've got secret hopes for the 3 month mark but will be patient and wait for 6 months - I've already decided that returning to work at 9 months might be a no go as I have a very demanding job.

This hot weather doesn't help (as glorious as it is) she is a hot bod (probably from the constant moving!).

*now relatively good

If you've had a forceps baby I can't stress how amazing cranial ostepathy is. My DS was upright 24/7 for 3 months before we had it done.

I would also say Dairy intolerant !!!!! It's hell..... It gets better!

I'd bet money on your baby having cow's milk protein allergy. A "colicky", very unsettled baby is a classic sign. Since your baby is formula fed the treatment is a hydrolysed or amino acid formula, which has the milk proteins broken down.