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My baby is completely different to other babies....

162 replies

Pennybrown86 · 08/06/2016 11:37

I have posted about my LG once before so apologies. I'm not really looking for advice, just support and maybe hope....

She is 10.5 weeks old, delivered by forceps and formula fed. We had a traumatic time with breastfeeding and despite a significant level of support, she just wouldn't do it. Since she was about 10 days old she has been very different to other babies.

She is incredibly alert and active but extremely unsettled. Even when she was 10 days old there would be hours and hours where she would be awake and crying and just wouldn't settle to sleep (worse in the day). She used to settle in the pram but not any more so i don't really go out with her as she is so incredibly loud, she screams instead of crying and it is ear piercing.

I now have longer stretches where she is happy, kicking around on her playmat but she will go from smiling to screaming within seconds and she often becomes inconsolable. I can now get her to take naps in the day but it involves either holding her or with her in the sling and walking up and down the hallway for about 20mins and she will only ever nap for 40mins at a time and I can't put her down. She often takes over an hour to get to sleep at night, she used to sleep for long stretches but she now wakes frequently and I often end up putting her in the bed next to me to get her to sleep.

She is incredibly sensitive, she screamed the house down at 5am when my husband sneezed this morning!

I have lots of friends with babies and my LG is so utterly different to theirs. I wouldn't wish for a different baby, but people keep telling me that things will get easier but they haven't at all.

Apologies for the long post - does this sound ANYTHING like anyone's baby? Did anyone have a baby like this and things actually did get easier?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
justjuanmorebeer · 08/06/2016 19:48

My baby was like this too. From birth. She had horrific reflux that was caused by a milk intolerance. The diet stuff we got under control but temperment/active/attention span/energy wise she is still a total handful at 5. I'm sorry Flowers

TheToys · 08/06/2016 19:54

Ds (who was quite a lot like this) had silent reflux and has a curious, sociable, highly strung nature. He hated being a baby and a toddler. So much more settled and happy now at 6 years old. It was almost like he was an older chikd trapped in a confused incapacitated baby body. No wonder he was pissed off. He taught himself to read at 3 and thrives now with all the capability to find out stuff and express himself.

Fairuza · 08/06/2016 19:58

Cranial osteopathy is like homeopathy, there's no evidence or science behind it, you either have to believe in the woo or not.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

TheToys · 08/06/2016 20:01

Hated the sling too. Had to carry him around showing him things all the time. Sitting down not permitted. It will pass, but it may take some time. Don't be afraid to ask for help. A happier, rested mum will help grumpy baby too... For us swaddling saved us. Started late, at 5 weeks, but had to try it. After initially being a bit unhappy, DS fell asleep out of my arms from thereafter (let's not mention the waking up, but it was tons better!). Harvey Karp Happy Baby book was our saviour at the time.

derektheladyhamster · 08/06/2016 20:01

My 16 year old was like this.

It got better ish when he started crawling at 7 months. He was definitely over stimulated by everything!

Pennybrown86 · 08/06/2016 20:17

We did try cranial osteopathy with no luck.
Cmpa is a possibility and something I want to discuss with paediatrician. She hasn't gained weight for 3 weeks so I'm concerned about that, she's being weighed tomorrow so fingers crossed.

OP posts:
stareatthetvscreen · 08/06/2016 20:19

dd was like this too

she crawled - in an incubator - the day she was born at 36 weeks

Liara · 08/06/2016 20:26

Both of mine were like this.

Ds1 had cmpa and severe reflux, so severe he had failure to thrive. When we eventually managed to get him diagnosed, on medication and on solids (he was 4 months old by then) he improved a lot, but was still pretty hard work for a while.

Ds2 had milder reflux, and an egg allergy (he was bf, so I had to eliminate egg from my diet). He gained weight normally, though, so after what we had been through with ds1 I counted myself lucky!

Neither slept through a single night until they were 4 years old.

Now they are older though, and they are absolutely delightful!

Some babies are just harder work than others.

SueTrinder · 08/06/2016 20:33

Agree, definitely worth investigating a CMPA. But sadly some babies are just like this, my nephew was very high maintenance child (no CMPA) as a baby and toddler. He is 10 now and actually has no signs of super high intelligence (his little brother who was the most chilled out child in the world is smarter) although that's the thing that people always suggest as a reason for this. Some babies are sent to try us. Maybe baby no 2 will be easier (mine was!).

Inmyownlittlecorner · 08/06/2016 20:37

She sounds like both my daughters.
Cranial Oesteopathy worked slightly for my first, but did nothing for my second, in fact it seemed to make her worse.
Gaviscon & Ranitidine also did nothing. She never went in the pram, I used a stretchy wrap & carried her everywhere, she would still cry though.
She struggled with BFeeding & had failure to thrive. She was very engaging & every Paed we saw (we saw a fair few!) remarked on her eye contact, smiles & belly laughter all of which she did from 3 weeks.
She was eventually diagnosed with cows milk protein intolerance & silent reflux & put on Aptimal Peti formula & Omeprezole. There was a definite difference in her within 48 hours.
She was still high needs but so so much better in herself. She still occasionally had breath holding episodes from the pain & wasn't content for long periods of time, but she was sooooo much easier.
She was awful in the car though & at 3.5 she still travels very badly.
Good luck, it is so hard, but it really does improve.

3luckystars · 08/06/2016 20:53

I would say silent reflux too.

Could you try the zantac alongside Neocate milk, see if it makes any difference.
Its unbelievably expensive but its on prescription so definitely worth trying for a few weeks.
The
thing with the medicine is that you have to keep upping the dose as their weight increases, and the other problem is that lots af gps have no experience with reflux, so it can be an uphill battle to get it sorted. Good luck.

JuxtapositionRecords · 08/06/2016 21:00

Op Google 'purple crying' and the 'fourth trimester'. It will relate a lot to your baby. My first was the same - I was convinced there was something wrong with her and I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm happy to say once she started crawling she got a bit happier and when she started walking she became a different child. Happy, smiley, rarely cried.

It's tough, but it will get easier. Some babies are just very high needs. Dr Karp is a well known American paediatrician and has some great ideas for high needs babies - have a look on google and give it a try Flowers

VikingLady · 08/06/2016 21:09

Does she vomit a lot? Does the crying sound like abdominal pain?

My DS was like this until a mum at a BF group said it sounded like DD who'd been diagnosed with a dairy intolerance. I went dairy and soy free and he was a different child! No other allergies in the family.

Apologies if you have already looked at that, but it just sounded so familiar.

GruffaloPants · 08/06/2016 21:34

My baby was like this. She is now a very determined 4 year old, who generally sleeps through the night! She was also a forceps delivery and was allergic to milk, though not any more.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 08/06/2016 21:44

Oh, the memories. Dd was like this. No physical problems, just a wired extrovert in the making. It got better when she could sit up. And better again when she could crawl. Was lovely when she could walk. And when she could talk, she was a delight. Mostly.

I think you might need to look for coping strategies for you rather than fixing strategies for her. Also talking about how it really is at baby groups - sooner or later you'll meet someone who falls on you in relief!

Dd is 14 now. She sleeps in till midday, every chance she gets ...

babyconverse · 08/06/2016 21:51

I think more babies are like this than people let on. I absolutely second that comment on the thread that overtired ness may be part of it . My ds is relatively lovely (now at 7 months) but still now I fear him getting overtired. Impossible to settle, doesn't want to do anything, can't stay asleep as he wakes up tired and miserable. This little ball of utter neediness. He also gets happier the more he can move. I watch him roll around the cot on the baby monitor now getting himself to sleep- I couldn't have imagined that at ten weeks. No way.

Believeitornot · 08/06/2016 21:56

You might need to ease her in to a little routine to make sure she gets enough sleep. Sometimes it can be a simple case of the being a bit over stimulated and they seem really alert and wired but that's when they need a rest!

My dd was quite fussy with the sling because she got too hot. Once I got the knack of working out how many layers were enough (less than I thought!) and made sure she was comfy she would settle quickly.

Usually she would fight it a lot which was a sign she was really tired. As soon as I started walking she would sleep in minutes.

When I say routine, I don't mean full on rigid times. I just mean getting out of the house and giving plenty of opportunities for her to sleep. I found it so much more stressful being at home for naps as I felt I should be putting her down in the cot etc. But we had to get out every day because I had a toddler in tow as well Grin

ApplesTheHare · 08/06/2016 22:02

DD was like this until about 5/6 months, when we got naps sorted so she wasn't overtired and she she could sit up, meaning her reflux improved and she could play with more toys. As soon as she hit about 1 and was walking, able to explore and reflux-wise she became an incredibly happy child! I'm convinced some of them just don't like being babies. In the short term just try and look after yourself and know it WILL get bettet, you're still at such an early stage Flowers

Jodders · 08/06/2016 22:04

My first was like this and he had severe silent reflux which was diagnosed at 10 weeks by barium swallow X-ray. Have you spoke to GP?

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 08/06/2016 22:07

Dd honestly spent the first few months of her life eating (little and often), sleeping (reluctantly, and only on a warm human body) and screaming. There are photos of her not screaming but I don't remember at all a moment when she wasn't grizzling.

The moment she could move around, she was a different baby.

She has a high boredom threshold.

YolandiFuckinVisser · 08/06/2016 22:13

My DS was exactly like this, hated everything with a passion until he started walking (walking around the furniture was OK, stopped the constant grizzling to an extent). Walking on his own gave him immense pleasure and he's never looked back. He was an early Walker if it's any consolation, although crawling gave him the rage.

He is 15 now, still gifted in physical movement (excellent breakdance moves specifically). He is also very bright, this may be the case for your baby. She will get over it, you won't forget this time but you will be able to remember what she was like with a wry smile one day.

BikeRunSki · 08/06/2016 22:46

She sounds a lot like DD was. We thought it was colic, but prob combined with an eagerness to get some independence and some birth trauma (uterine haemorrhage, her heart stopped, v quick crash section under GA). Infacol, fresh air , baby massage and a sling helped. Cranial osteopathy at 18 months (I was desperate for some sleep by this point, had previously thought it was a load of mumbo jumbo) helped a bit too, and so did marrying walking and talking. She did both much earlier than her brother. Even now (4) she get frustrated at trying to learn new things.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 08/06/2016 23:00

My DC1 also had to be upright all the time as a small baby, though she wasn't screamy as long as she was upright.

I suspect silent reflux now but she put on weight well (due to the fact she fed about 18 times per night in her first few months probably) so no health professional was interested.

Like others she was mine early (rolled at 11 weeks, held her head up from birth, commando crawled and sat unaided at 5 months, cruised at 7months, fully walking and steady o her feet at 9 months) and also talked early (full sentences by 14 months) but she is fairly average now she's a preteen.

She slept loads better once she could sit and slept though by age 1, which is actually quite reasonable (I know now due to DC3 ' S years of non sleeping. ..) but until she was about 5 months I'd spend literally hours trying to put her down and remember lunatic Internet searches for something that would allow her to sleep in her preferred upright position but allow me to safely sleep too (no such thing exists, except for the baby's other parent!).

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 08/06/2016 23:01
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EffieIsATrinket · 08/06/2016 23:08

Had one like this - just needed constant stimulation and couldn't switch off to sleep ---> chronic overtiredness.

She's still a character and streetwise for her age (now 5).

One Christmas Day (age 2) she had a tantrum because she wanted to 'do a workbook' - the bit in the middle of the CBeebies comic - even the excitement of the occasion wasn't quite enough for her Hmm.

Age 4 she caught chicken pox and announced 'now I can have pringles'. I thought she was milking the event to eat some junk food but no, DH worked out she was talking about shingles...

She is fiestier, more streetwise and
argumentative than her older sister. In one of her first weeks of P1 she got up in front of her class to give a presentation on all her cuddly toys.

The first 18 months were tough. As a newborn she simply roared and roared. Once DH took her for a walk in the Phil & Teds buggy - she was on her own in the lower bit so out of sight to the common eye. The screams coming from the 'empty' pram were something to behold and persisted for a miles worth of walking. She never really learnt to nap and it was a huge relief when she could finally do without it.

From age 3 she's been supremely entertaining, a joy really and it's all been worth it. Hang in there!

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