My baby is completely different to other babies....

[Pennybrown86]

I have posted about my LG once before so apologies. I'm not really looking for advice, just support and maybe hope....

She is 10.5 weeks old, delivered by forceps and formula fed. We had a traumatic time with breastfeeding and despite a significant level of support, she just wouldn't do it. Since she was about 10 days old she has been very different to other babies.

She is incredibly alert and active but extremely unsettled. Even when she was 10 days old there would be hours and hours where she would be awake and crying and just wouldn't settle to sleep (worse in the day). She used to settle in the pram but not any more so i don't really go out with her as she is so incredibly loud, she screams instead of crying and it is ear piercing.

I now have longer stretches where she is happy, kicking around on her playmat but she will go from smiling to screaming within seconds and she often becomes inconsolable. I can now get her to take naps in the day but it involves either holding her or with her in the sling and walking up and down the hallway for about 20mins and she will only ever nap for 40mins at a time and I can't put her down. She often takes over an hour to get to sleep at night, she used to sleep for long stretches but she now wakes frequently and I often end up putting her in the bed next to me to get her to sleep.

She is incredibly sensitive, she screamed the house down at 5am when my husband sneezed this morning!

I have lots of friends with babies and my LG is so utterly different to theirs. I wouldn't wish for a different baby, but people keep telling me that things will get easier but they haven't at all.

Apologies for the long post - does this sound ANYTHING like anyone's baby? Did anyone have a baby like this and things actually did get easier?

Hang in there OP. My DS was/is like that. He's 4.5 months now and since I have started Co-sleeping he's been better at sleeping during the night. He's still a handful during the day. I've given up trying to make him sleep anywhere but my arms during the day.

I'm hoping he's just frustrated at not being able to move around, he has excellent body strength and I pray it's only a matter of small time before he's crawling around.

My ds was like this. I could not put him down for the first 3 months. He had terrible reflux and then just became accosted to being held. He got quite a bit better at 12 weeks as he outgrew reflux and then dramatically better at 7 months when he learnt to crawl and explore.

I could have written about this my ds who was also forceps but he was very active when I was pregnant so it might just be him.

He would be awake all day and cry so hard I was growing crazy. I read up loads on high needs babies and the signs of over tiredness and watched him like a hawk, unbelievably he started to show these signs only an hour after waking and feeding which at first I didn't believe given how long he usually stayed awake. I started to jump in swaddle, give a dummy and bounce on gym ball. It worked and he started nappy on a 3 hour cycle. He was still high needs and became very dependent on routine (and swaddling) but I got my life back.

Hope you find something that works for you

Consider silent reflux

Check her symptoms against www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nz/

It is hell and if left untreated will resolve by the time she is on solids, but in the meantime feels like she has a hole burning in her belly.

Typically, will feed well, be OK for half an hour or so, then start screaming inconsolably, for hours and hours. Midwives and HV will have told you to lie them down, be tough etc., but the only thing which might possibly work is to constantly carry in a sling.

If left untreated she will also associate lying down with pain and so you are likely to struggle to get her to self settle later on.

Good luck. Many paeds don't believe in it. Most GPs are lost and say it is colic. You can tell pretty quickly if this is reflux by using infant gaviscon which you can get from a pharmacy. If the gaviscon fixes the issue, it was reflux.

The Dr Sears Fussy Baby book is helpful. It gets better, I promise.

Reflux- she has no problem lying flat, she loves kicking around on her changing mat. We tried gaviscon and ranitidine and I don't think either made a difference.

Cows milk allergy - I would expect to see other symptoms? I can usually stop the screaming using various different methods that I've learnt - one being to play really loud music! If she was uncomfortable you wouldn't think that would work would you? She used to be really good at night, now she wakes up frequently and I've resorted to putting her in bed next to me.

DD was like this.

Turned out to be a combination of tongue tie (causing wind/occasional silent reflux and hence poor sleep) and chronic overtiredness.

From your OP, I suspect your DD is not getting anything like enough sleep and is horribly overtired - which will make her more sensitive. And more difficult to get to sleep (the irony...)

I suggest:

• get checked for tongue tie - this is much more common than CMPA/reflux but can lead to similar symptoms. Paed/GP etc will be useless at checking this, you need to see a good lactation consultant

• Dedicate a few days to getting her to sleep as much as possible. So if she will sleep in a moving car then go on long drives. If she will sleep in a sling then do that, if she wakes after 40 mins try to ensure you are shhhing/rocking her gently at the 40 min mark and she MIGHT go longer? If she will sleep in a pram then long pram walks - and again make sure you are moving/rocking the pram at the 40 minute mark. Have an earlier bedtime. Co sleep if that helps. Basically try to catch up some of her sleep deficit. After a few days of this she will likely be a lot better (and easier to get to sleep). I had to do this quite regularly for DD and it was a PITA but it did work.

• A Sleepyhead may help at night.

I've just had the HV suggest that I leave her to cry herself to sleep. Not going to happen.

*My son was like this from birth until around 5/6 months old. Very alert, very active but my god was he grumpy. Literally cried and grizzled every minute he was awake.
As soon as he was mobile and able to crawl around it was like he had a personality transplant. Happy, laughing, sleeping loads better. I think some babies just want to be able to get around and when they can't they get frustrated. *

^ this! - could have been written by me. The first 4-5 months of his life made mine an absolute misery. The day my daft MIL appeared with a baby walker and shoved a cushion down the back to keep him upright changed my life.

No, don't leave her to cry. Not at this age, and not till you've got to the bottom of what's bothering her and got it sorted.

I'm not anti CC, in fact I will often recommend it for dealing with sleep association problems (ie inability to self settle leading to very frequent wakes at night), but only for babies who are definitely not ill/hungry/in pain and definitely not at this age.

minipie gives great advice about the tiredness. Try and reduce all stimulation for a few days - no toys etc. Sounds mean but they don't need them at this age and get overstimulated sooooo quickly.

Another one here whose child seemed to hate being a baby. DS learned to roll himself very early, and became a bit happier then. Crawling helped even more, and now at 13 months on the cusp of walking, I can't wait to see how much happier he gets. He's already so much better. I think he just hated not being master of his own movement.

I barely got out of the house for the first 4 months as he would scream in his pram before we had got down our (tiny) garden path. We chaneed him to the upright pram earlier than recommended, and he reduced the screaming loads. I think he hated being on his back and not being able to see anything.

The most recent improvement came from changing him to a forward facing car seat. No more journeys with him screaming all the way! He just looks out the window and observes the world.

Anyway... I think you are at the point where it will start getting better. I know it doesn't feel like it, but hold on in there and keep the faith!

My daughter is the same and was sensitive to dairy. Also I hate to say it but our daughter is bright & ive been advised its the joy of having a bright child. She's now 10 months and doesn't sleep

It took 2hours to get her to sleep last night and that's not unusual, she woke several times in the night and took over an hour to get back to sleep. She takes forever to get to sleep in the day too, it is utterly utterly draining. It's like Groundhog Day.

Hey Pennybrown86 we had a similar battle last night and she woke only twice which is a small miracle. Have you tried white noise? Also my mum got me some books out of the library & I think my LO is overtired from the day? As of today I'm going to try and make her naps longer and quieter etc. Hang in there xx

Hi LainyC, yeh, we have tried white noise, it didn't seem to have much impact. It takes me so long to get her to sleep in the day too, for any length of time, it's a nightmare!

Yeah I spend an awful lot of time walking with her as it's the only way she will settle in the day for a nap. Which also means if it's wet outside then I end up pushing the pram around the house 🙄

I have a dd who was very very similar and I would listen to the HV and let her to cry herself to sleep

It SUCKS doing it but it changed our lives. She grew up to be very clever!

Sorry OP, sympathy because it is very, very hard but your baby sounds totally normal.

What are all these "other babies" like?!

Gosh, this brings back memories. I frequently asked why my little girl was so different to all the other babies in our NCT group. From the second day she was born I told my husband that she was a 'spirited' baby and she's proved me right every day since. There were many dark days but things got better about 5 months. I sometimes wonder if I just learned to cope by then. I cried when she hit 12 weeks and didn't miraculously improve.

She's now 4 and a half. She's still just as spirited, stubborn and emotional but now she's also bright, sparky and funny with it so at least there's a balance. Be kind to yourself and know there will be some kind of light at the end of the tunnel xxx

Hi, I had a grumpy one too. DS(10) is now a really lovely little boy although he can still be a bit sensitive at times. He was slightly different as he screamed even when he was picked up, he was a traumatic birth as well, plancetal abruption, ventouse which left a subdural haematoma.

We ruled out tongue tie, reflux (meds made no difference), dairy intolerance, tried cranial osteopathy, baby massage.

I found a few things helped.
We had a baby swing, which would keep him entertained for 20 minutes or so whilst I got things done.

In the summer we used to go out in the pram and he would be fairly happy underneath a tree watching the leaves and if the park was big enough the screaming was dissipated slightly!

Eventually, we put him in a day nursery for a couple of mornings a week, just to give me a break (the creche at the gym wouldn't have him). He screamed there too, but at least I wasn't hearing it.

At 4mo my mum suggested that we let him cry it out at nighttime and he did eventually go to sleep, but it didn't work for the daytime naps only the nighttime one.

As another poster said, he got better when he crawled and better still when he walked. So by about 18mo/2years he was more similar to other people's children. It helped that 2 other people from my NCT group also had really difficult babies and we bonded over that.

Incidentally, my next two children were little angels, both slept through from 6.30pm-7.30am from 6 weeks old.

This is going to sound ridiculous as I know you say you've tried loud noise but have you tried loud white noise? We thought it didn't work for my 12 week old DS - we had Ewan the dream sheep but it just wasn't loud enough. We now have speakers linked with DHs iPhone which we put near his cot and crank up the volume. My mum thinks we're ever so mean but it sends him off in seconds. The calm, peaceful white noise did jack all.

He's not a particularly high needs baby though.

Sorry, tried white noise that should say.

And I agree that your baby isn't that different from other babies, I think they are all a bit like this at different times.

Oh I don't know bono and mrs I've spent some time with some very chilled out babies. One of my sisters babies would happily be content in his pushchair and when he was tired he would sleep in it, moving or not. He fed really well, slept ridiculously well and wouldn't tend to grumble unless he was hungry.

Another of my nieces never really complains. I can count on one hand the number of times I've heard her cry. She is very contented.

Another of my nephews had to be carried around at all times and wasn't happy to just be held, the holder had to be stood up or he'd cry! He was the most difficult baby by far. He was like that until he was mobile at 7 months.