would you report this person and how could I go about doing it!?

[sammyjayneex]

So we live in a culdesac and my children play out on the street. I check on them every 5-10 mins.
My 9 year old told me when I brought her in for tea that this van ( looks like it's some form of transport for dropping Off the elderly or disabled children to their homes) and he was dropping off this lady ( I think she's a member of staff he must work with as she wears a badge but I can't quite catch where she works) in one of the houses opposite to us. My daughter said she was stood with her friend and he started talking to them and they turned around and said something along the lines of 'your in trouble you, or are you in trouble or stay out of trouble you' something along those lines, my daughter didn't quite catch it because he said of and drove off. Now to me this is unacceptable, approaching young girls, making unpleasant remarks and driving off. She said she just ignored him. I've told her she should never talk to strangers and she should come straight to me as soon as it happens instead of ages after. I have seen this van plenty of times. One time a man made a Comment towards me whilst I was walking down the street, I ignored him and put him down to being a rude sad man, but now he's made comments towards my daughter I'm fuming and want to report him but there isn't any company name on the van. It's just a van with Windows. I was thinking of waiting tomorrow afternoon for the van to come up and taking is reg number or approaching myself and asking him who the hell he thinks he is!

Actually I said OP comes across as unstable, not that she is. And the OP states herself that her DD didn't tell her until "ages after" and that she ignored the man. So there was no bloody issue obviously. If he had persisted in trying to speak to them after the initial remark she may have had a point, but he didn't. And he DD wasn't even sure what had been said...
She obviously wasn't that worried about it. As I said I've been raped and abused. I was 11 when it started, so not much older than OPs DD. From what the OP said this is not what this man was planning. If people actually read things properly instead of just jumping into "oh my God a man spoke to a child! He must be a peado" then there wouldn't be a problem.

Amarmai, I think you have issues regarding so-called 'feminism'

I think the OP would collapse in a fit of the vapours if she visited Ireland

and you are the judge of all matters 'feminism'?or maybe the judge of who has ISSUES? why don't you stick to commenting on the post as originally posted and leave other posters to do the same , free of your judgments .

Massive over reaction. Be careful that you don't accidentally teach your daughter to be suspicious, unfriendly and rude.

worra I just hope OP's not living near me...a man picked up a little boy who had fallen over and brushed his trousers off a couple of days ago. The man was asking if he was OK, and if he was hurt. The boys mum walked around the corner (the boy had run off in front) and asked what had happened. She thanked the man! That's right...a woman actually spoke to a man and thanked him for stopping and making sure her son was OK. As they were leaving he said to the boy "you be careful eh clumsy" and winked at him.

Its not 'putting women down' to tell them when you think they are making an issue out of nothing. It diminishes feminism and gives people ammunition against it when people freak out about innocent encounters. If your intuition comes from a place of irrational fear (like being raised to avoid all strange men that talk to you!) then its not healthy to listen to that intuition.

What a sad society we live in these days, where men aren't allowed to speak to children they don't know. Get a grip, OP. Whereas I agree children should be warned of the dangers of speaking to strangers, I also wouldn't want them to be terrified of everything and everyone!

My husband helped a little GIRL get into a swing the other day. He didn't even know her, her mum was busy with another child and he just lifted her in. She smiled and so did her mum. He's such a weirdo. I think the mum should've 'reported' him.

srsly my son stole a grandad on the park a couple of years ago. He went over, and asked him to push him on the swings. The man did. I was busy with baby DD, I noticed, handed DD to a friend and went to rescue the man. He just laughed and said he didn't mind a bit. My DS ended up playing with this man's grandson for the rest of the time we were there. The man would push them on the swings, hold them up while they attempted the monkey bars, hold their hands while they jumped off the top of the climbing frame (instead of sliding down the pole). I must be a terrible mother, allowing a man to help my child and not being right next to them the entire time. They were always in view and they had a great time. The man even told me what a good kid he was and gave him 50p.

using the word 'unstable' is an attack on the op. Again you were not there and the mother is the best judge of her dd not a random mner. You are the pp who is using the peado word -again setting up a straw dog to knock down. My support for this type of posting comes from the same kind of experiences that you have suffered, yet look how differently we approach this sit. i am sure we all want the same end result tho- safe and happy lives for all children.

Yes armarmai we want children to be safe and happy. From what the OP described her DD was perfectly safe and happy enough to carry on playing! This is a complete non issue, yet OP wanted to report him (to who? For what?)

making a mock and laughing AT the op and those who support her is the lowest form of discussion. This thread needs to be shut down as it is a disgrace.

The only thing that is a disgrace is the shouts of "don't ever let a man near your child ever, and he must never speak to a woman"

she asked for opnions she got some-mostly that she doesnt like or agree with-thats what forums are for if you dont like it dont post

Be honest now.

If you saw a toddler being led away in a shopping centre by two young boys, would you (a) intervene or (b) look the other way, because you don't want to get yelled at for "getting your kicks" "talking to children"?

Because when Jamie Bulgar was killed, plenty saw, but no-one did anything. Today, I suspect it'd be worse, not better. Someone else's problem. Why get involved?

The OP is not concerned about safety at all: she keeps going on about how bad it was of the man to say something her dd did not understand. Because obviously no paedophiles speak in a comprehensible manner or say normal things geared at the understanding of a 9yo.

ricardian I would speak to them and ask if they needed help and where their mum was. I have spoken to children who are lost or upset. But I suspect I'm in the minority. As this thread has shown, you dare speak to a child and you are a paedophile.

Wow

He sounds friendly, a bit annoying but friendly. I hate people telling me to cheer up but I also understand that in their world of social skills it's a nicety.

Be annoyed but don't ruin his life.

It's really a sad fact of life that most adults are very wary of interacting with children due to the way society is.

My Granda who is 96 went to say hello to a boy the same age as my DS to ask if he was enjoying his ice cream. The Mother said some rather disgusting things to my Granda which really upset him.

He was just trying to be friendly while sat enjoying the sunshine.

Sometimes people/adults need to think before they react.

Thank you to anyone who has stuck up for me..

I respect everyone's opinion and experiences here but to call me unstable is just low....

I'm far from unstable thank you

I am a very cautious person, I admit but there is nothing wrong with that. I want my daughters to be safe and respected. I think this man is very immature if you ask me. Yes maybe might be a bit strong to say he's a danger after a few comments but you can't be 100% certain. To me he makes these comments to make himself feel better because no one gets anything out of his comments. No one finds them funny or helpful so what's the point? What's wrong with actually being normal and saying hello or just giving a pleasant smile.

Also to the posters who are comparing this to scenarios at the park, there is a big difference, you are present right in front of you. I was in my house whilst my kids were playing (although was checking in them constantly) as they are entitled to play out at aged 9 without having random men telling them to stay out of trouble.

Oh and what's that poster on here about asking me if I had a hard day at work and had no where to store things in a fridge or something. lol can't we bothered going back searching for the comment. I'm a SAHM so I think your mixed me with someone else.

But OP, telling kids to stay out of trouble is a common thing people say to children when they're hanging about, its not weird or immature.