would you report this person and how could I go about doing it!?

[sammyjayneex]

So we live in a culdesac and my children play out on the street. I check on them every 5-10 mins.
My 9 year old told me when I brought her in for tea that this van ( looks like it's some form of transport for dropping Off the elderly or disabled children to their homes) and he was dropping off this lady ( I think she's a member of staff he must work with as she wears a badge but I can't quite catch where she works) in one of the houses opposite to us. My daughter said she was stood with her friend and he started talking to them and they turned around and said something along the lines of 'your in trouble you, or are you in trouble or stay out of trouble you' something along those lines, my daughter didn't quite catch it because he said of and drove off. Now to me this is unacceptable, approaching young girls, making unpleasant remarks and driving off. She said she just ignored him. I've told her she should never talk to strangers and she should come straight to me as soon as it happens instead of ages after. I have seen this van plenty of times. One time a man made a Comment towards me whilst I was walking down the street, I ignored him and put him down to being a rude sad man, but now he's made comments towards my daughter I'm fuming and want to report him but there isn't any company name on the van. It's just a van with Windows. I was thinking of waiting tomorrow afternoon for the van to come up and taking is reg number or approaching myself and asking him who the hell he thinks he is!

[TheUnsullied]

Report him for having the nerve to talk to your child? Pull the other one. Keep her in or go out with her if this bothers you so much.

[Buggers]

That's what a lot of people say to kids!!! There's nothing weird about it! Maybe they were looking shifty?! Surely you have heard that saying before?? WHAT KICKS?!?

[sammyjayneex]

Report him for approaching young girls he doesn't know and making comments a 9 year old just wouldn't 'get'
I wouldn't bother if it was a 'hello, see you later' but talking about my child staying out of trouble is weird.

[user7755]

You don't know what he said to your daughter because she doesn't know.

[sammyjayneex]

But he doesn't even know my daughter!!!!!

He's encouraging my daughter to talk to strangers as he is a stranger. What did he expect from my daughter? For her to laugh at his pathetic joke when my daughter didn't even get it?

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

What kicks do you think he is getting exactly?

Sounds like like a friendly bloke who's worst crime is possibly being being a bit annoying.

Please do call the police and report that a stranger made an innocent passing remark to your dd then tell us what the police said.

[sammyjayneex]

She knows roughly what he said but she said he was taking quite fast but got the jist of what he said

[Buggers]

Fine I give up!! Report a man claiming his doing planning something sinister towards young girls when all he did was make a friendly comment, ruin his life probably make him loose his job and probably friends once they hear what your claiming..

[sammyjayneex]

I wasn't planning to report him to the police, just to report him to the company he works for.
What would you say if a man was stood outs side a primary school making these comments. Would you still be as accepting ?

[sammyjayneex]

lol unhinged?
I don't think so.

[Buggers]

His not making any rude comments so yes I'd be saying the same. You really need to get a grip.

[user7755]

Given your OP, she didn't get the gist of it. She was clearly confused by it, but given that you also seem very confused by why someone would like to initiate friendly conversation without an ulterior motive I'm not surprised.

Does the fact that you have got an almost completely YABU response not make you wonder if you might, in fact, be being unreasonable?

[PatriciaHolm]

What exactly would you complain about? So he's made a couple of uninvited comments, its hardly the end of the world, or any sort of abuse. Sometimes it can be annoying but it's hardly something to go moaning to an employer about, is it?

And the whole idea of a blanket "don't talk to strangers" isn't very helpful. Sometimes talking to strangers is needed - if they are lost and need a policeman, for example. They need to be taught not to go with people they don't know if mummy isn't there, etc, but they also need to be confident to ask for help if they need it.

[Makesomethingupyouprick]

He wasn't 'encouraging young kids to talk to him though'. From what you've said, he made a comment (possibly) and was ignored and drove off. He may well be a complete arse (or also, maybe not) but it doesn't seem like he tried to initiate a conversation.

And your 'he does it for kicks' seems to be an unfounded assumption.

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

People talk to my dc all the time, from conversations on the bus to passing comments such as that.

It makes the world world a friendlier place imo.

[AngieBolen]

People such bus drivers jokingly saying to a child something like "You look like trouble" with a wink was normal not long ago. It was considered friendly. Now it seems an adult talking to a child they don't know is "getting kicks".

[Buzzardbird]

But what the fuck are you reporting him for? Talking?

Are you feeling ok?

[Veterinari]

OP. Are you from the UK? Ian and where I'm from it's totally normal to acknowledge other Human beings (even children) as we pass.

Ey up duck
You a' rate
Hello trouble
Stay out of trouble
Cheer up

Are completely normal passing remarks with no ulterior motive, and not said for kicks. I believe it's how conversations are begun.

friendly communication fosters a sense of community and goodwill- you should try it
Alternatively consider addressing your anxiety/anger issues - this is a massive over reaction

[Buggers]

I want to ask again if an elderly lady made that comment to your dd and friend would it be the same reaction?

[TheUnsullied]

Yes, unhinged. You don't even know if it was the same man who spoke to both you and your DD. "You kids stay out of trouble" and its many variants are very run of the mill things to say to children playing unsupervised in the street. Why would you be trying to report someone (presumably to their employer or the police) simply for speaking to a child?

[NerrSnerr]

There is nothing to report him for! Man says friendly jokey thing to children! Shock horror!!!!

[Veterinari]

And you're comparing a hypothetical man hanging around school gates for no reason, with a real man dropping off a neighbour as part of his job and making a passing remark. Really?

[Cel982]

The "Cheer up, love" type comments make my blood boil, but they're not against the law. Nor is there anything illegal, or even appropriate, about making an innocuous comment to two kids as you go about your work. I think you're massively overreacting to this, and that your sense of what's appropriate in normal everyday interactions is a little skewed.

We tell kids not to talk to strangers for their own safety (although to be honest it's probably not the most effective way to keep them safe). There's no equivalent prohibition on adults talking to kids they don't know. Please don't go causing trouble for this man who really doesn't seem to have done anything wrong.