would you report this person and how could I go about doing it!?

[sammyjayneex]

So we live in a culdesac and my children play out on the street. I check on them every 5-10 mins.
My 9 year old told me when I brought her in for tea that this van ( looks like it's some form of transport for dropping Off the elderly or disabled children to their homes) and he was dropping off this lady ( I think she's a member of staff he must work with as she wears a badge but I can't quite catch where she works) in one of the houses opposite to us. My daughter said she was stood with her friend and he started talking to them and they turned around and said something along the lines of 'your in trouble you, or are you in trouble or stay out of trouble you' something along those lines, my daughter didn't quite catch it because he said of and drove off. Now to me this is unacceptable, approaching young girls, making unpleasant remarks and driving off. She said she just ignored him. I've told her she should never talk to strangers and she should come straight to me as soon as it happens instead of ages after. I have seen this van plenty of times. One time a man made a Comment towards me whilst I was walking down the street, I ignored him and put him down to being a rude sad man, but now he's made comments towards my daughter I'm fuming and want to report him but there isn't any company name on the van. It's just a van with Windows. I was thinking of waiting tomorrow afternoon for the van to come up and taking is reg number or approaching myself and asking him who the hell he thinks he is!

[Heard it all] ffs.

OP YANBU, this is street harassment.

From your descriptions he wasn't politely talking to your DD, he was hanging out of a van window passing comment.

Someone asked whether the OP would mind if a woman did this, but it's not the same, women generally don't go about in vans harassing young boys in the street. Countless men do, every day.

Growing up in a big city I was subjected to daily harassment from arsehole men in the street. It was inappropriate and ranged from mildly annoying to attempts to pull me into cars.

This is part of the same thing IMO.

If the man is there regularly I would be asking him what he was talking about to my DC.

The posters who want to paint this as a normal occurrence either just want to have a row IMO.

"using the word 'unstable' is an attack on the op..."

And calling other posters with whose opinion you disagree 'honorary men', wasn't an attack, armarmai?

blink of course it's the same if a woman says it!

Blink I don't want an argument as I don't really want to go into early labour!

Where does OP state man was hanging out of his window when a) she didn't even see this incident and b) DD did not think this important or urgent enough to report immediately after it happened. This for me is the really important point. Apart from the fact DD has most likely forgotten about this incident by now, nothing really happened!

If said man was hanging out of his window harassing 2 9 yos then yes I could see her point. However shouting a throwaway remark out of a window which 2 kids did not really hear is not harassment. It's not anything. It's just a guy passing comment at 2 kids.

Anyway must dash I have to go and watch a film about 2 men fighting!

street harassment

The way some people go on, in the near future we'll be able to prosecute people for making eye contact with us. Just how dare they look at us without express consent...

To the poster who said mitt different if a woman does it,no it's blinking not! Women aren't perfect little creatures so if it's harrasment, weird or threatening from a man it is from women too

I thought of this thread this evening as I was leaving work. I passed a pub where various people were drinking outside. A man who was clearly in a very jolly mood said something to the effect of "Evening, I suppose you've got to go home and cook a meal now". OP would no doubt have thought it unfunny, unhelpful, pointless, said purely for his benefit, and would have gone looking for someone to report him too. I rolled my eyes, thought "Sexist git", and carried on my way. I really couldn't be bothered to get worked up about it. I recommend you try for a relaxed attitude to these things, OP, it's much better for your blood pressure.

Sorry but the idea of a straw dog argument is really making me giggle.

Immature weirdo that I am

I saw this and thought of this thread and the accusations of being men or honorary men. I've discovered that poster was right after all

Report him for saying stay out of trouble? That's not illegal or sexual. It could jeprodise the man's job and reputation and on what grounds

Hmmm I kind of see where the OP is coming from and think she's getting a hard time.
Men telling women to smile pisses me off, it's happened to me countless times ands it's fucking annoying, do women tell other people to smile? Do men tell men to smile? Nope it's always men sticking there noses in where it's not wanted and commenting on women just going about their daily business.

It's hard to know what happened with your dd op but if he did drive past in a van and tell them through the window to "keep out of trouble" then yeah again that's annoying, what's the fucking point? Mind your own business, he's confused them and it's unnecessary .

However it's not illegal so I doubt reporting him would do much.

heyhula had you read the thread you would see a couple of examples of women telling men to smile/cheer up and men saying it to men. You would also see that he was parked when talking to the kids and said "stay out of trouble " or something along those lines, just like you would say "hello" or "good morning" in passing. As for what's the point? What's the point in being friendly? There's no point to saying hello to strangers or smiling at them either but no one is complaining about that.

Well it's strange how my husband has never been told to smile yet I have on numerous occasions , and no he doesn't go around with a smile plastered on his face.

Like I said it's unclear what happened with the dd.

Why do people think it's only men who 'tell' people to smile? I do it too,often with a demonstration using two fingers to pull a giant grin on my face (ok,it's reserved for friends). It usually encourages laughter and/or a smile.

In fact, I've just emailed someone I care about and in that email asked if they could smile when I see them mext. Because I care and he's not been himself. It's not offensive.

However, if you're the kind of person who gets angry and feels it's disgraceful for someone to 'tell' you to smile, think it's a male offensive thingy and get all het up about it, I can certainly see why you are the people 'always' told to smile. You do sound kinda sour!

Why the fuck would you tell a stranger to smile though? Honestly? Maybe they've just had some devastating news, maybe they don't want to fucking smile that day, just mind your own business!

And the reason I think men do it more than women and to women is a sense of entitlement, "smile for ME" is the underlying message imo.

It's really not though. Saying smile or cheer up is not something that just men do.
I agree with triptrap if you find you're "always" being told to smile then try smiling for a change. Bloody hell.

Oh and as I said, had you read the thread you'd see an example from pp who had had bad news, and were told to smile or cheer up and didnt take offence because it's said as a way of lightening things up, or being friendly. I much prefer seeing people with a smile on their face than people with a face like thunder.

I don't have a face like thunder, I have a normal face, I.e not smiling inanely. But fine, horses for courses, personally if I'd had some terrible news, some random bloke telling me to smile would just piss me off.

Oh and also who cares what YOU like to see? Sorry that you prefer people to walk around smiling but I'll do what I want with my own face, thanks.

And that's fair enough, of course you can do what you want with your own face, but expect people to think you're a miserable git and possibly say "smile" or "cheer up"

Oh god you don't get it do you, even if I am a miserable git what on earth does it have to do with you? Can you answer that?

Um, people like it when people smile because smiling shows a happiness in the person doing it. We like seeing people happy!