Becoming a mum, what you wish you'd known...

[chillthefXXkout]

I am currently pregnant with our much wanted first baby, and feel like I am entering the great unknown. I'm both excited and very unsure of what to expect! I know my life is about to change. Several people in RL have told me that the early months really took them by surprise which sounds a bit....ominous.

So, what would you lovely ladies go back and tell yourself when you were expecting your first? I'm looking for the good, the bad and the ugly, and any tips for surviving the bad/ugly are welcome

Nothing can prepare for how amazing it is and how hard it is. People will love to tell you how you should be doing things/ how they did things but every baby is different and mums really do know best.
If I could have a chat with myself in the early days it would be to not worry so much and limit visitors... We were swamped the first two weeks and felt just as we were getting used to being a family on our own dh has to go back to work after two weeks off.
I'm just about to embark on it all again and I hope I'm
A bit more relaxed this time. Good luck... It changed my life. It for the better xx

Here you go - a similar instance. From earlier on this thread. Previous post Highlighted quoted and nobody criticised. Horses for courses.

Honestly salsamad. I've just re read your post and mine. There's not a jot there of personal criticism.

X said "remember you won't sleep at all after baby arrives"

Y said "no this may well not be true. You may just find some sleep "

X said "you'll be overpowered by a rush of love for babe"

Y said "you may totally not love them immediately".

X said "your ambition and drive will fly through the window"

Y said "this may well not happen".

That's it from me. I don't know salsamad from adam and criticising salsamad for their choices is not there in my post. At all. It's as above. Night night.

You can try and justify what you wrote Jemapelle, however I am not concerned with other posts only mine and I only posted about how what you wrote made me feel. Goodnight.

You were disagreed with salsamad that's all

I also read jemappelle's post as critical of salsamad - other posts read differently.

Reading with interest anyway.

You dont need fancy gadgets.

YY
And by fancy gadgets I also mean things like baby hairbrushes and a thermometer to take the temperature of the bathwater. (Some people would even include a baby bath itself, but I found that really useful for the first 18 months.)

salsamad I mean this kindly, but your posts do come over as an overreaction to Jemappelle.

You stated something in very general terms and Jemappelle pointed out it didn't apply to her. That's not a criticism, she's relating her own experience.

Have you spent much time on mumset? The debate here can be quite ... erm ... robust at times!

It's worth sticking around, there's lots of good stuff here, but you're going to find it tough if you take offence to people disagreeing with you.

I can see why Salsa was upset. The other posters that said conflicting things gently pointed out along the lines of "well, that might not happen" whereas Jem's phrasing made it seem like there was no possibility that the other poster was correct.

The guilt. Feeling guilty for big or small things e.g going back to work although u know they will be fine or feeling guilty for spending an hour by yourself in a coffee shop. The list is endless.

I wish I knew how insignificant the hard part's would be DS is 4 now and for all its hard when I think about our life together the hard part's the crying and not sleeping seem like a blur all the good bits are so clear, it really does fly in so quickly I would do it all again with DS in a heartbeat.

I think it's easier after the first child because you know it will end and the hard buts won't matter.