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Original poster

To let SIL take daughter swimming?

147 replies

Ohsotired123 · 14/04/2016 14:28

Would I be unreasonable to say no to SIL wanting to take 8 month old swimming? She's asked me when she comes up as she doesn't live near us if she can take her. It would be for an hour or so but I can't help but feel a bit anxious about it. Would others be ok with it?

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Ohsotired123 · 14/04/2016 18:17

Every 4-8 weeks it all depends

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BertrandRussell · 14/04/2016 18:25

So every 6 weeks she takes her swimming? Sounds perfect- you can have a lie in or something.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 14/04/2016 18:30

Just say you'd like to go too! You're over-thinking this.

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gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 14/04/2016 18:30

And don't be bullied into 'having a lie-in' if you don't actually want to.

NerrSnerr · 14/04/2016 18:31

Do you take her swimming yourself?

In my opinion it's only every 4-6 weeks, I would enjoy the break. When you're back at work you'll probably appreciate the hour especially as she gets mobile as you'll have time to do jobs that are tricky with a little one around.

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2016 18:42

Oh, for goodness sake! Nobody's being bullied!!!!!!!!

MrsJayy · 14/04/2016 18:44

Bullied dont be daft

Judgementalsocialist · 14/04/2016 18:45

You: "That's a nice idea SIL, we'll all go!"

Her: "But I wanted to take her on my own"

You: "Why's that?"

Her: "...."

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with it either. Just be polite but firm. She's your baby - you don't have to hand her over to anyone if you don't want to.

katienana · 14/04/2016 18:51

I think it's OK not to be comfortable with it. You're not saying never just not yet!

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2016 18:54

it's a bit shit though if the poor woman isn't allowed to take her niece swimming because she's infertile..........

bluespiral · 14/04/2016 18:57

There's no way I would have handed over an 8mo to anybody to take them swimming. It's just so unnecessary unless you're going too imo.

Judgementalsocialist · 14/04/2016 18:59

Bertrand Russell I agree but presumably she wouldn't give that as a reason Confused

Original poster
Ohsotired123 · 14/04/2016 19:10

That is a part of it, I'm sorry to offend anyone but it comes with a lot of emotional problems.

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BertrandRussell · 14/04/2016 19:15

"That is a part of it, I'm sorry to offend anyone but it comes with a lot of emotional problems."

Bloody hell. You obviously don't mind offending people do you! Someone with 15 years of child care experience can't be trusted with her niece for an hour because she has fertility problems Hmm

MrsJayy · 14/04/2016 19:21

Thats bloody shocking you dont want her to have your baby because she cant have her own what a weird attitude

NerrSnerr · 14/04/2016 19:25

Are you concerned that she will harm your child? Do you have any reason to believe she would? Is that what you're implying?

DoreenLethal · 14/04/2016 19:27

She hasn't been able to have kids of her own and has desperately struggled for a very long time. So I guess I just feel a bit weird about it if you understand.

Are you kidding me? Because a woman is childless she is a threat?

MistressMerryWeather · 14/04/2016 19:30

Any emotional problems are entirely of your own creation.

If you has come here and said you were anxious about DD being in the pool with someone other than yourself it would be understandable.

But you seem to be under the assumption that because your SIL cannot have children on her own she wants to play mummy to yours. That's an incredibly small minded and immature attitude to have.

Wanting to take her niece out for the day every 6 weeks is hardly The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, it sounds like she just wants to be a good auntie.

MrsJayy · 14/04/2016 19:36

I dont think childless women see relatives babies as some sort of replacement it doesnt work like that.

passmethewineplease · 14/04/2016 19:37

You're beginning to sound a bit hysterical OP.

What on earth do you think is going to happen?

Original poster
Ohsotired123 · 14/04/2016 19:37

Christ you're treating me like some Katie Hopkins. Someone being Infertile isn't a disease or threat in my eyes by any means. But there as two parts to my thinking here; 1 I've already stated and that is why take her alone and 2 yes a part of it is that sadly she is struggling with getting pregnant it make me think is that why she wants her on her own I just don't get the lone part, like is that the reason? I've never felt uneasy around her because of how good she is with kids hence my original post on this thread. But the lone part just got me thinking.

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Original poster
Ohsotired123 · 14/04/2016 19:40

Ok I am being unreasonable which is why I came on here for advice because it's not exactly anything I can say to my family or her family as the last thing u want is to upset anybody. I am overthinking I adopt and realistically what will happen. Hand that rocks the cradle, I wouldn't go that far either.

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Original poster
Ohsotired123 · 14/04/2016 19:40

Admit not adopt.

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MistressMerryWeather · 14/04/2016 19:44

But why jump to the fact that she can't have children? I don't understand how your mind works tbh.

My first thoughts are a) she wants to give you and DH a break and b) she wants some lovely 1 on 1 time with her niece.

There's nothing sinister about that.

MistressMerryWeather · 14/04/2016 19:45

x post.