Completely messed up on the sleep front

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Hello all,

I've got a 2y 3m old whose sleep is just getting worse and worse.

We chose not to sleep train or CIO so cuddled to sleep when little and have always stayed with/laid with until asleep until now. However, bedtimes are now taking up to 2 hours to complete and he was up in the night last night for a similar light of time.

We have a new baby who is three weeks old; he has adjusted well to the baby and his sleep was already bad so the baby isn't the cause although I accept may not be helping. Last night we had 21 minutes where neither of them was crying which is obviously not sustainable for any of us.

Last night I tried leaving the room for short periods of time and saying I would return but as soon as I walk away from the bed he was out of it running after me so I though a gradual retreat style might work better so sat on the floor away from the bed but he just cried and cried for me to cuddle him.

Sorry it's so long but has anyone managed to turn a corner with a two year old struggling to sleep?

I am in the process of working on this. Almost identical situation to you. 2yo and 3mo. We've got it down to an hour atm. We have a few stories with milk sitting up in bed, brush teeth, one story lying down in bed, one story with the light off. Then he has to sleep. Any messing about and I head towards the door. I followed through on this threat and it worked. Now he does follow the above routine but I have to stay with him until he's asleep. Working on this now. Just started trying to leave the room and come back again. Early days. Good luck.

By the way, 3 weeks in is early. Things will settle and change. Try not to panic!

Nothing helpful to add with practical tips about the sleep but I wouldn't underestimate the effect the new arrival is having on him. His life has changed beyond recognition. There is now a tiny, demanding baby "competing" with you for his attention. It will get better I'm sure, but you're only 3 weeks into it. Could you feed the baby in his room whilst he goes to sleep??
Congratulations on your new baby.

I will be in a similar situation as I still stay with my 20 month old until he falls asleep and new baby due in May. I also cosleep with him if he is unsettled at night. My current plan is go do bedtime in our bed so I can feed baby at the same time and then transfer him to his bed once asleep. As far as cosleeping goes when he is unsettled during the night, if it works out, I also plan to continue this. Anything for sleep basically. Of course this all might go out the window but maybe a different view to try if only in the short term whilr everyone adjusts and is in survival mode.

Have a look at this thread - sounds like this approach might work for you/ your DS? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/a1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

One of my friends got her daughter to settle by herself by 'telling off' her teddy for not settling to sleep, then encouraging her daughter to cuddle teddy, tuck him up and show him how to settle. Worked for them.