I'm NOT a Gina Mum, but for those of you who are ......

[susanmt]

Our new HV is HEAVILY into this. It reminded me of fp's posts about her friends coming to stay.
The thing which mums were really questioning at the playgroup today was that children should not be read bedtime stories as it is a 'prop' to help them go to sleep, there should be no singing or rocking or cuddling or stories once you go into the bedroom, just in the cot and 'night night'.
I read the book when my daughter was small then got rid of it, and was given a copy by a friend when my son was born, but managed to dispose of that one too as I don't like the advice/tone of it.
So two questions (I promised the other mums I would do some research and get back to them!!)

1. I this right about bedtimes? Surealy bedtime routines are a good thing?
2. Surely a HV should not be pushing one way of doing things so heavily - I think it is unprofessional and am wondering about complaining. Does anyone agree?

Off to read myself a bedtime story now .....

MMB and Ionesmum, me too. Reading your post MMB brought tears to my eyes as it was exactly what happened to me with my ds. I ended up using the electric pump for 5 days as ds was jaundiced and having terrible trouble latching on. I was in midwife hell with 8 different ones all with conflicting ideas. After one awfull morning when a nasty midwife said I was effectively starving my baby and started making up formula without my permission, another midwife walked in for her shift and I confronted them both very loudly in floods of tears that shouldn't they all at LEAST agree on what they were trying to do there. The nice midwife thought I was joking at first but after days of conflicting advice and NO sleep and the stress I really couldn't cope with this horrid midwife any longer. I still have a hunch that nasty m/w did give my ds a bottle of formula one lunchtime; he was crying, I hadn't eaten for days and she came and took him away from me while I sat down for lunch. Literally took him, and being vulnerable and pathetic I let her. I couldn't eat and went to find him and she just gave me this look and said he'd dropped straight off. I don't know. Anyway, reading your post brings it all back to me. The woman in the next bed to me was so sympathetic and admired my bravery for speaking up, but I felt dreadful about it. I left on the 6th day and went home via a cranial osteopath as ds had had a pretty traumatic time being born. Spent an hour there, went home and ds took to b/feeding with a passion and I never looked back. (until now that is!!)

I feel so sorry for those of you who did not receive help from midwives when having problems breast feeding. As you might have guessed I have a passion for breastfeeding and get very frustrated with midwives myself at times ( despite being one!).
Last night I had an experience of a baby with low blood sugars following C/S despite being over 9lbs. in weight. The baby was showing signs of low blood sugar so he was tested. The result came back pretty low. The midwife looking after the mum and baby came and said that the paediatrician stated that the baby was to be cup fed formula 10ml/kilo which was 45ml because his blood sugar was low. I challenged her as to why she was accepting his (junior) opinion, especially as the mum was keen to avoid formula because her husband had numerous allergies. We have a protocol which states that the baby has to receive expressed breast milk (EBM) first and recheck blood sugar in an hour.
The best way to express initially is hand expressing because invariably you lose what you get in the pump in the tubing!
Anyway - mum expressed 3.5 ml colostrum, 4 hours after a C/S. Baby was given that by syringe and 1 hour later his blood sugar level had come up to an almost 'normal' level. He got another 6 ml expressed colostrum and he maintained his sugar level at the actual 'normal level. The midwives were actually quite amazed at how such a small amount of colostrum could make such a difference.
We need to have confidence that nature nvariably supplies what a baby needs - sometimes though it is a terrible struggle to get on course. Good professional help is invaluable. For those of you who did not succeed- do not blame yourselves. Sometmes the circumstances are just not right. You did your best with the help you had. Next time you will enter the arena far wiser and demand the help you need.

Forgot to mention that the baby would not feed - probably because he hadn't read the books

Star, I'm so sorry, and Jessi.

Mears, I hope that things will be different if there is a next time.

Just tio let you know that I am seeing my female g.p. tomorrow.

Write down everything you want to say. Good luck

Thanks, Mears. All went well. The g.p.was lovely and v. understanding. She apologised on behalf of the practice and is going to raise the matter with her partners and the midwife in question. She isn't going to name me although I don't think it will be hard for her to work out who it is whose spoken about her. Mears, I did really think about what you said but I just don't feel strong enough to talk to the people at the hospital, it was hard enough talking to my g.p. and I still blubbed. I don't really feel all that much better yet but hope that the nagging feeling of not having done anything will go away. The g.p. was concerned that I am still felling so sad. Although she doesn't feel that I have PND she has suggested that I might consider counselling if I don't feel better in a couple of months', although I'm not sure what difference it could make TBH, I think it will just take time.

Thanks for all your support, I am pleased that I have done this; if it helps even just one mum then it will have been worth it.

I am pleased you have spoken to your GP and got some issues off your chest. I am sure she will discuss this with the midwives and other GP's so that they will understand that not all women feel happy when they switch from breast to bottle. There are many professionals who do not think further than 'mum is happy baby now that she doesn't have to breast feed' and they then don't need to have as much input to ensure that the baby is successfully feeding.
You will have made a difference to your GP and she will share that with her colleagues. Be proud of voicing your feelings and I am sure you will now be able to move on. Well done

Well done Ionesmum. I'm sure you will have a difference. Good on you.

Well done Ionesmum

Thank you!

Yes, very well done. You may well have helped prevent what happened to you happen to someone else. Pity we don't all have midwives like Leese and Mears. I wish she'd been around when I was sobbing trying to feed my baby with the midwife telling me my baby was starving and I had to give him formula. Luckily I was able to go on to breastfeed but I didn't have a fraction of the problems/pain that you endured. And I don't think you should reject the idea of counselling. You could give it a try and see if it helps. It's not just for crazy people! Wishing you all the very best.

Well done Ionesmum. Keep up the good work

Well done Ionesmum! I'm so glad you got up the courage to talk about this (I KNOW how hard it is!!lol) and I'm very impressed. It will be good for you as well as so many other mums. Good for you!

Thank you all again! Aloha, I know that there's no stigma in having counselling, in fact I'm hoping to train as a counsellor myself soon, it's just that at the moment I get upset and it doesn't really make me feel any better to talk about it, certainly not face-to-face. I feel better talking about it on mumsnet because I don't feel self-conscious, I truly don't know where I'd be if I hadn't found such wonderful, helpful people.