HI, I'm new here. At my wits end and need some help.
As title says step son is now 15. I've been with his dad since he was 10ish. Things have got so much worse over last few months. I've had to start to refuse to do his washing because there is always lumps of poo in his boxers, its been that bad sometimes its even on the waist band of his trousers. I had a chat with his dad and he said he's always done it, dont no y he's tried to get it sorted but step son dont care.
His room is a pig sty. I wont change his bed because i cant get to it there's so much stuff all over the floor. rubbish every where down behind units under bed shoved in wardrobe where he's been told to clean up. I get told this is normal for a boy his age???
Last night after he had been in the loo I went in and had to go find his dad to tell him that there was poo on the floor in 3 places. He went mad told me not to touch it and got step son to go clean it up. He asked how on earth did u do that, all we get is a shrug and I dont no.
He keeps turning the heating off in his room (I put it on 2 just to take the chill out up to him if he wants to sit in a fridge) so he gets bad condescension on windows, so today while out I brought a interior dehumidifier to see if that will help. when I was looking for somewhere to put it I found mould growing on the walls, window sill and net curtains.
I feel like I'm nagging to bf all the time about step son. I tell step son to sort his room out but he dont listen, I told bf today about mould and i hate having to keep nagging and I feel like a idiot because I try and do nice things for him ie buy him new trainers when he needs them, brought yet another xbox one battery charger thing, ipad charger the list goes on. I feel gutted cuae he just dont care ad has no respect for anything anyone buys him. I treat my son (whos 8) and step son the same I buy one I buy the other.
I'm at my wits end and really dont know what to do 
. So if there is anyone out there plz help!!!