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Parenting

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Original poster

Almost 6 year old asking about sanitary towels

45 replies

Wizzysmum1 · 13/12/2015 20:42

I was bathing my almost 6 year old dd earlier and we were having a lovely chat and out of the blue, she asked me what were the things I put in my knickers. I was thinking how to reply when my dh, who was outside the bathroom ironing at the time, started talking and indicating he did not want me to give her any information. I would only have given her limited information but after having popping out to have a quick chat with him, he was clear that he doesn't want me to say anything to her.

To me, if they are old enough to ask a question then an age appropriate one is okay.

What do you all do?

OP posts:

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StealingSleep · 13/12/2015 20:44

Why didn't he want you to tell her anything? That's really weird.

I've answered all my dds' questions since they were old enough to ask me what I was doing when I was putting my mooncup in.

honeysucklejasmine · 13/12/2015 20:44

Why does your husband not want her to know?

scribblegirl · 13/12/2015 20:46

That's really odd and not okay. I was about the same age when I asked my DM about her tampax boxes and that's what started the conversation which remained open into my teens (and led to my first body book, which I still have!)

You need a serious word with your DH and a follow up conversation with DD to answer her questions.

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annandale · 13/12/2015 20:46

Of course I give an age appropriate but accurate answer. Well OK, I try to - I don't always manage it as well as I'd like!

Menarche can happen at age 8 (though I believe it's very unusual at that age). I don't think your dh really wants his daughter not to know what's happening to her if she is one of the ones who starts then, he's just unprepared for his child to deal with the messy reality of the world, and we've all had moments like that.

A good time to talk about it together. Because in my experience, the times they ask questions and you have a chance to answer are few and far between. It would be good to raise the subject tomorrow but she might not listen.

HumphreyCobblers · 13/12/2015 20:47

I would have told her exactly what they were for. It is really strange not to. She could be getting her period in a couple of years. I have always told my children about stuff, I don't want it to come a surprise.

Littlefish · 13/12/2015 20:48

I absolutely agree with you that if your dd has asked the question, then she's ready for an age appropriate answer.

Your dh is being silly about this.

EverySecondCounts · 13/12/2015 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5BlueHydrangea · 13/12/2015 20:50

My dd has just turned 6 and knows all about periods, what pads and tampax are for, how periods come regularly and help your body get ready in case a baby comes. Can't see any reason for her not to know.
Your dh is a bit naive I think.

Spidertracker · 13/12/2015 20:51

Both my children DS age 9 and DD age 6 have always come into the bathroom with me.
They have both commented about sanitary towels and seen the blood.
I just said they are like nappies to catch the blood. When they asked why does it bleed I explained that every month a ladies body grows a comfy blood bed to grow a baby but if a egg doesn't meet a seed the comfy blood bed comes out.
I think its important that children,girls especially know about it from a young age so it is normal and doesn't come as a shock to them.

starry0ne · 13/12/2015 20:51

I can tell you he needs to get his head round it sharpish...Puberty is staring in my Ds year 4 class...

EverySecondCounts · 13/12/2015 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeakyMinder · 13/12/2015 20:53

My DD is 3, she asks about sanitary towels/tampons and I tell her the truth. She doesn't really understand but it doesn't matter, she'll ask again when she's older. Avoiding the subject makes it into a really big deal and therefore even harder to tell them when they're older. When they're little they just accept these things in a matter of fact way.

Also I think it's very important our DDs feel it's OK to ask about stuff like this. I think your DH's modesty is misguided.

IguanaTail · 13/12/2015 20:55

Can't you just say it's special tissues for ladies and leave it at that?

GinGinGin · 13/12/2015 20:56

Absolutely agree Beaky - I've done the same with my 3yr old. She also knows the correct names for her "bits" too. Girls should grow up knowing this. I think these sorts of issues are often talked about on the Feminism boards and for good reason.

CasualJersey · 13/12/2015 20:56

That's odd.
My DD is 6 and has been aware of my sanpro for quite some time.
When she was little and saw them
In my bathroom she referred to them as mummy's wee wee's, as she grew I just said mummy calls them pads (referring to both pads and tampons) seemed easier!
She asked about 4 or 5 what they were actually for and I told her once a girl starts to grow up they bleed once a month from their front bottom (her chosen term for vagina at the time) and the pads were used to help keep clean.
I likened it to the functionality of a nappy to help explain.
She's neither freaked out nor overwhelmed by this, she accepts this as fact and just gets on with her life.
I think you need to speak to your DH and let him Know that it's ok to talk about bodily functions, after all it's going to happen to your DD and she shouldn't be ashamed/ embarrassed . also talk to your DD.

wtffgs · 13/12/2015 21:00

"Special tissues for ladies" WTAF

As for your DH, OP..... oh dear, there should be nothing wrong or shameful about menstruation. Why on earth shouldn't your DD begin to find out how her own body will work in a few years' time? It doesn't have to be detailed. Answer briefly and factually. Perhaps your DH would prefer her to get her information from the school playground?

IguanaTail · 13/12/2015 21:01

Yeah, far better to show your period to a 6 year old.

Original poster

Wizzysmum1 · 13/12/2015 21:07

Thanks all for your replies. i was just so surprised how he reacted as I was set to tell her , as I did not see anything wrong in giving a basic answer. He calls her a princess but don't think he is ready to deal with her growing up really and asking questions - think he is in for a few shock along the way

OP posts:

Sanchar · 13/12/2015 21:09

What is wrong with kids seeing periods?

Mine have seen me doing my mooncup countless times and at 5&7 are un-traumatised by it.

I'm not having my kids growing up thinking periods are gross and taboo.

annandale · 13/12/2015 21:10

Maybe explain what you were going to say? He might not be able to imagine an age appropriate answer or he might not know the details himself

RumAppleGinger · 13/12/2015 21:10

I agree it's quite an odd response from your DH, my DS has asked and I've told him the truth. I think he first noticed when he was around 4. He thought my massive post natal pads were hilarious and made excellent beds for his playmobil people.

tethersend · 13/12/2015 21:12

"Special tissues for ladies" 😂😂😂

GinAndSonic · 13/12/2015 21:12

My dd 8 is 4 and ds is 6 and they have seen my menstrual blood and understand about it happening every few weeks and what sanitary towels are for. They are entirely unconcerned about it.

MrsJayy · 13/12/2015 21:15

Your dd is asking questions tell her not sure why her dad was being weird about it probably thinks she is still a baby, this is the best way to teach children ime about the facts of life chatting as you go along saves a big talk your dh is being a bit daft about this but my dh was the same drove me nuts

Jw35 · 13/12/2015 21:16

Periods aren't gross or taboo but there are age appropriate answers rather than the gory reality at a young age I think. When my 3 year old asked me what the tampax was on the back of the toilet I just replied 'they're mummy's' and that was that. When she was 7 I had to rush back to the house to get my tampax just after we left and she was really curious why I was rushing so I told her I needed my 'ladies things' that sparked a discussion and I told her about the 'stuff comes out' every month when you're not having a baby, but didn't say blood. By 9 she knew it was blood and so on. She's 12 now and has known it all from about age 10. So I think age appropriate answers, keep it brief and full info by about year 5 or 6. That's just my opinion and given the choice id rather all info than none just the same. Making it a big secret will be awkward later on for everyone.

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