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Parenting

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Original poster

Almost 6 year old asking about sanitary towels

45 replies

Wizzysmum1 · 13/12/2015 20:42

I was bathing my almost 6 year old dd earlier and we were having a lovely chat and out of the blue, she asked me what were the things I put in my knickers. I was thinking how to reply when my dh, who was outside the bathroom ironing at the time, started talking and indicating he did not want me to give her any information. I would only have given her limited information but after having popping out to have a quick chat with him, he was clear that he doesn't want me to say anything to her.

To me, if they are old enough to ask a question then an age appropriate one is okay.

What do you all do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Baconyum · 13/12/2015 21:19

I understand the lighthearted 'he's a shock coming comment' but think it's important to realise that he needs to get his head around the fact that she will become a sexual being.

My dd started periods aged 9. In order not to give HER a complex about it he needs to be much more open and blasé about something which happens to almost all girls/women! How the hell is he going to be about her having crushes/boyfriends? Let alone being sexually active! She is not a princess in an ivory tower, she's a female in a modern world who should be able to own and enjoy her sexuality.

Costacoffeeplease · 13/12/2015 21:23

I'd be a bit surprised if you didn't answer her (or did you?). Why does your husband get to decide? The question wasn't directed at him.

I'd have ignored him and given a simple explanation and then explained to him why he was being an idiot

PurpleThermalsNowItsWinter · 13/12/2015 21:31

I give the same answer as spider.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds Families General parenting

IguanaTail · 13/12/2015 21:33

Agree with jw. Age appropriate.

They are ladies' tissues?! Used for mopping up excreted blood.

Original poster

Wizzysmum1 · 13/12/2015 21:37

He doesn't get to decide as such but he has an opinion and so I wanted to hear what he had to say, though I don't agree with him.

I was saying they were things ladies used but stopped the conversation as he kept calling me and then when I went back in a few moments later she was splashing about and didn't say anything else.

i want to have an open honest relationship with dd and hope she can always come to me.

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 13/12/2015 21:39

Can you not call them pads? They are nothing like tissues.

purplepandas · 13/12/2015 21:39

I have been honest with DDs age 4 and 6 (although before then too). I agree about answering in an age appropriate manner when asked. This is important I think. I did correct DD3 (age 4) the other day when she said it was dirt. I have been clear it is blood but it does not hurt etc. I know period pain can do of course but I think mine tend to associate blood with having hurth themselves etc and I did not want them to think that.

dementedpixie · 13/12/2015 21:40

There were 11 years between me and my younger brother and I used to send him to get me a sanitary towel when he was a few years old. He called them my 'nappies'.

dementedpixie · 13/12/2015 21:42

My Dd started hers aged 11 which was about the age I started too. Both her and ds (9) know about periods, sex, etc just from general chats rather than a big sit down discussion

LurcioAgain · 13/12/2015 21:45

I gave DS the same answer as Spider when he asked - he was about three at the time. (Surely everyone's toddler follows them everywhere including the loo...) Surely the earlier you give them age appropriate factual answers the better - that way it's always no big deal.

Costacoffeeplease · 13/12/2015 21:53

when I went back in a few moments later she was splashing about and didn't say anything else.

What a shame, she asked a question and deserved a response, and that moment has now passed - hopefully she'll ask again at some point and you can explain then

Vinorosso74 · 13/12/2015 22:13

My DD is nearly 6 and about a year ago she was asking about "the blue string hanging out" and a box of tampons so I explained simply that older girls and women have bleeding each month and the tampons soak up the blood. I'm not convinced my response was ideal but she caught me by surprise and seemed ok with the answer.
She did ask if it hurt. My reply was no which wasn't honest as I used to get horrendous period pains but didn't want to worry her!

Indole · 13/12/2015 22:19

I would just use the explanation a previous poster gave - every month, a woman's body grows a special safe home for a baby to grow in. If you don't have a baby growing inside you, the special home comes out as blood.

End of story.

It's not a scary thing, it's just life. And it can hurt but it doesn't always.

That's what I've always said. DD is 9 and fully up to speed with periods and has been since she was three or so.

tethersend · 13/12/2015 22:22

Sorry Iguana, it's just the phrase Special ladies' tissues which tickled me.

Almost 6 year old asking about sanitary towels

LaContessaDiPlump · 13/12/2015 22:24

My DC (both boys, 3.5 and 4.6) have noticed them and asked what they are; I said that they were little nappies for mummies (couldn't think of a better explanation on the spur of the moment)!

They seem to have accepted this happily enough they're still amused by my lack of willy tbh

Footle · 13/12/2015 22:35

There's another active thread about a 7 year old who seems to be starting puberty : unusual but not unheard of. Your husband needs to think on.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/12/2015 23:12

This makes me really angry. Periods are normal. Talking about periods is normal. None of this "special lady tissues" bollocks. He needs to grow the fuck up.

LyndaNotLinda · 13/12/2015 23:20

What is 'age inappropriate' about telling a 6 year old about periods?

Making them into something mysterious makes them much more frightening.

OP - your husband needs to grow up

gamerchick · 13/12/2015 23:20

just said they are like nappies to catch the blood. When they asked why does it bleed I explained that every month a ladies body grows a comfy blood bed to grow a baby but if a egg doesn't meet a seed the comfy blood bed comes out.

I quite like that wording

Maybe it's time to sit down and have a growing up conversation with your bloke. It's sometimes a bit of a shock when little girls look like they're growing up.

Mrsfrumble · 13/12/2015 23:54

DS first asked when he saw me changing a maternity pad after DD was born. He was 23 months old (a very curious, observant and articulate 23 month old!) and I told him it was to catch the blood coming out of my body, but not to worry because I wasn't ill or injured. When he was about 3 he asked again and I told him something similar to "comfy blood bed" explanation.

I agree that you need to talk to your husband OP, as he needs to face up to the idea that your DD will be starting puberty in a few years.

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