Question for people who use slings for newborns.....

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Hi,
I have a 5 week old baby boy. He's a 'sensitive' baby, as in he's grizzly when he's wet etc, unlike my other 2 babies. He goes from asleep to starving and howling in seconds, wakes up grouchy and is generally pretty grouchy most of the day. He's EBF at the moment but we are going to begin fazing this out, because I am virtually constantly feeding him. He brings up no wind at all, unless he has expressed milk in a bottle, and spends the day writhing and farting. I feel sorry for him and me because he seems so miserable. The only time he's content is if he is asleep upright on my chest. Obviously, this can't go on, I've got 2 other kids one of whom is a toddler, and I'm getting a bit low and stressed out. I'm considering using a sling/carrier so I can function during the day, but m concern is how do you ever get them back into 'normal', or do you end up carrying a 6 month old around constantly? I'm very reluctant to start something that could be a hard habit to break. Has anyone used the sling like this? It's always recommended as a method to cope with grumpy babies, but I don't know anyone who's done it who can talk to me about the benefits/problems....

I carried my second for a good few hours every day for the first 4 months. After that it's like a switch flipped and she was suddenly more interested in play mat or swinging chair. Haven't carried her now for ages

My lad was very hungry, discontented, bloated, writhy and farty until diagnosed as lactose-overloaded due to my excessive milk supply at 5 weeks. Stretching intervals between feeds to 4 hours corrected the problem within 24 hours (we subsequently relaxed a lot on this). Obviously not saying this is the problem but it changed things enormously for us.

It will be easier to put him down in a few months having been carried and calmed (and when he's taught himself to burp!) than it is now. Carrying him is meeting a need, not creating it. But Tbh if you have a half decent sling you could easily be carrying him at 6 months leaving both hands free to toddler-wrangle. I carried DD a lot and plan to use a sling even more if I manage a DC2.

Babies this young don't get "addicted". Baby have needs. If yours needs to be in a sling because, like all babies this age, his immature digestive system is playing up, and on top of it it's helpful for you to take care of your other DCs, why on earth would you not just do it? Just don't buy a babybjorn, learn the basics and welcome to a hands free/ happy baby life :)

It's a godsend at that age, it really is, especially if you've got other kids. A stretchy wrap will do the job.

Slings were my salvation - I had a v high needs baby (turned out she was ill but it felt like she'd been sent to drive me insane..) and an 18 month gap. Dc2 ended up in the sling the majority of the time for months but this enabled me to care for dc1/eat/drink/wee/tidy etc rather than create further problems. She is now the most confident, independent, non-clingy child ever!

Thanks for all your responses. It definitely sounds worth a try. I'm getting from your posts that when it says 'sling' it's not a baby carrier (like my mothercare one, front/rear facing) but one of those long fabric ones? Any recommendations? I've always seen them but never really 'trusted' them, or myself to tie the knots correctly! I'm so useless, you wouldn't believe this was my 3rd baby

DD was a limpet baby who couldn't fart either; I feel your pain!

I recommend the Close Caboo - it's stretchy and soft, but you don't have to bother with knots, it just goes over your head and through 2 rings. Looks more complicated than it is! You can BF in it really discreetly too.

Congratulations on the new squish!

A sling also fine. I didn't like the wrap ones and went for a buckle one-connecta.com-love it and ds sleeps endlessly in it.

I am on dc2 and carried dc1 a lot in a baby bjorn-hated it. I have borrowed a Kari me along (long Jersey piece) from a friend and it is amazing. Dd is tightly bound to me so there's no bumping around, where I go, she goes and can deal with ds so much easier. Agree with others, you are meeting a basic need (Google 4th trimester) and not creating a want. Hope it works for you. Btw, you may be able o continue ebf with a sling as he will sleep longer in between and you won't feel permanently empty from all the feeding. It will save your sanity I'm sure.

I used a connecta from birth with both of mine. Also had a boba wrap and a didytai. One stopped wanting to me carried but the little one still happily gets carried around at 14 months.

The mothercare carrier probably isn't ergonomically designed and so probably won't be that comfortable for you or your DS. 'Sling' is used as a general term for any sort of ergonomic baby carrier such as a fabric wrap (stretchy best for very small babies), the close Caboo which is effectively a pre-tied stretchy fabric wrap, mei tais, and structured carriers like the Ergo (which comes with an insert for newborns, Tula, and other brands.

Personally I would look for a second hand close Caboo on a Facebook sling group. They tend to be in good condition, are easy to use and very comfortable for parent and baby.

www.connectababycarrier.com

Most areas have sling libraries now where you can try different types and get help and advice. I used a Moby wrap and a Kari-Me (youtube videos helped me too) before buying my own from Victoria Sling Lady (all long bits if material so look complicated but actually very simple and so comfortable). I then used a soft structured carrier from about 3 months which made back carrying easy (ergo, beko, r&r, Tula)

If you google your local area and sling library that might be your best bet - you can go and hire and try before you buy. There are lots of options and what suits one won't suit another.

Cross post

I had a high needs newborn just as you describe. I carried him and lot to start with. I got less as he got older and by 5/6mo he would play on the floor a bit and generally would only need to be in the sling from 4-6pm ish. He's 17mo now and while he still likes a carry (particularly when out and about somewhere unfamiliar) I find I use the sling less and less these days. So probably not the answer you were after but I enjoy carrying him and feel a bit sad that it is reaching its natural end. I also think that overall it's definitely made life easier for us. I am currently pg with #2 and intend to carry them as long as they need/want.

Close caboo was great when dd2 was younger. She had bad silent reflux and I couldn't feed dd1 or take her to the loo or anything as dd2 needed constant comfort due to being in pain.
It was especially good for 'witching hour' between 5-6 when I was trying to make dinner and both kids went into meltdown lol.

Dd2 is now 9 months and far more independent and self secure than dd1 whom I didn't 'wear'. It could be just individual personalities but I've been more 'attached' with dd2 and she's actually been more secure in general.

I now have a Tula carrier for when we go out places where a Pram is difficult or if I'm just running into the shops and she loves it. I use it occasionally for 'witching hour' still or if she's not well but she's not reliant on it.

I also found it harder to bond with dd2 as she was so 'high needs' compared to my very laid back dd1.
I think baby wearing helped me to bond with her as we had that close contact and it comforted us both when I was feeling guilty about being unable to meet her needs.

I think it'll make your life much easier and give your baby the comfort he needs when he's sore. Does he arch his back when feeding?

OP my dad was exactly the same and I think it was caused by tummy pain. By four months his digestion had matured and he became by far my best sleeper/most content child.

Definitely recommend a the connecta! Still carry my 14 month old and she loves it. So used to it now that I absolutely hate taking the pram anywhere.

I've used my Caboo close since dd was born and I'm currently trying to "wean" her off it so to speak-she's 15 weeks. I'm having mixed success! I started to use it as she was just so over tired from having crap naps that evening were a total nightmare so I used it naps- especially the 4-6.30ish time which was becoming truly horrendous.
Main advantage is fairly obvious, she stops crying and goes to sleep! There are many disadvantages though; I have a toddler too and dealing with him with dd in the sling is hard, I can't carry him properly, changing his nappy is hard, I can't have a hot drink, struggle to cook etc. I've also found that since I usually use the sling when we're out she now will not tolerate the buggy at all-this makes being out and about fine as long as ds is happy to be in the buggy but if he wants to get out I can't really walk with him properly(he's only 22 months and still a bit of a liability out and about!).This is a fairly major PITA but there's nothing to say that she would have just got used to it anyway.
I'm finding it a wee bit easier now she's getting more interested in toys etc. She'll go in the baby gym for a while now.
In short, needs must. I can't have a screaming baby in the house so the sling has served a purpose. Now I've spent about a week getting dd to nap in a bouncy chair and it's going ok and I'm thinking of converting the buggy to a sit up style early so dd can see. I think that if you have a baby that needs to be close to you then you do and a sling is probably the best way of dealing with it IMHO. If she were my first I'd probably just have her on me permanently!

Hi OP

I've just had a very similar few days with my 6-week old DS and have just overcome my fear of tying knots incorrectly to order a stretchy wrap as otherwise we are going to start losing people in the piles of stuff building up in my house. So very pleased you started this thread as am also getting very stressed about it all.

Absolutely no help to you whatsoever but just wanted you to know you're not alone! And if it helps, he's my 4th DC and I feel similarly clueless in this area.

Hi everyone, been doing my research on the slings and think I might try the caboo, because it's the cheapest and I can get it from Argos with £10 off voucher! It's good to know I'm not the only one lost in mess, I feel so clueless! Thanks everyone for your advice.

Hi bear, just to let you know, my Amawrap has arrived (following the reviews on here) and having baulked at paying £40, I am now convinced it was worth every penny. I have always shied away from things that require knots tying but it's a doddle (and I speak as someone who saw a sling consultant with my last DC and still couldn't get ok with wraps. There's a very easy-to-follow vid on website needs- I managed to put it on first time and, most importantly, DS LOVES it - he's been snuggled in there most of the afternoon. Just wish I'd had it for my others but it's nice to enjoy something different.

I also managed to wash/dry/sort/out away three loads of laundry using it which I am pathetically pleased about!

Hope you have similar success with the caboo.