how difficult is it with two children close together?

[jessica3692]

That's all really please ladies.

I have a 9m and I would like another baby. I would like them to grow up together with 2yrs between give or take.

just wondering if I am committing myself to a life (or few years at least) of stress and 0 sleep etc.!

Thanks mamas!

I have 19 mths between dd and ds1 and near enough 2 years between ds1 and ds2 and yes, it's bloody hard work but they have similar interests age wise so days out are easier etc. They do fight sometimes but my neice and nephew have a 10 year gap and they fight too! Just do what feels right for you

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and both of mine have been brilliant babies .. my toddler doesn't go to a childminder or to school he's with me 24/7 and so is my youngest.. they love the bones off each other they share a bedroom my eldest loves playing with his baby brother they really are the best of friends. But it's important that if you have another baby you still give your eldest a lot of attention as they can get very jealous sharing you when they are so used to having you all to themselves .. I always made sure I have time for my eldest when my youngest was first born I always read him stories and enjoyed floor time with him when the baby was sleeping or content. I involved him in simple tasks such as getting the baby wipes to do the babies bum and getting nappies to .. the bond my two boys have is impeccable

We have 5 boys.. our age gaps are 23 months, 24 months, 26 months & 12 months they all get on incredibly well (with occasional rows), hard work when they were wee but now it's fantastic! Our oldest is 15 & the youngest 8, it was soooo worth all the harder early years! We know other couples with 3 or 4 years age gaps and they always seem to be bickering over activities to suit all the children (of course bigger age gaps just suit some other families better)
If we were to do it all again, we wouldn't change a thing

I have 3 under 5! My oldest started school in Sept! My youngest is 18 months & my middle is 2.5 - there is a year between the youngest & middle! The first 6-12 months are tough, but no different to twins (so I'm told) until they get a little independent! My saving grace, they all play so nicely together & are all so close now. Hard work, but it's worth it!

My 2 are 6.5 years apart. It was good having a little helper to pass me the wipes etc when the littlest was a baby, but it's still very difficult. They love each other but wind each other up massively and don't have a lot in common because of the age and gender gaps. Also I found it quite lonely being the only one with a baby and a child in yr2, mother and baby groups don't tend to take school pick ups into account! But I'm glad they weren't both in nappies at the same time

16 minutes apart here . Not a conscious decision !

Dazed, I find the opposite - I have met lots of people with a baby and a young school aged child and virtually no-one with a baby and an under 2.
I can't go to any groups in the afternoon as they all start very early when my toddler is napping. I assumed that was so folk were free by 2.30ish to go to school pick up!

Lilli - I don't know many with several small children who would go to a 1pm class. Most want 10am, or 3.30pm onwards as especially with several small ones they want them to have time to nap at home after lunch.

Art, exactly - I think there is a market for 3/3.30pm groups/classes. But where I live there are so many fab sounding things on at 1/1.30pm. I am not willing to change DD1's nap time too much as it took a long time to establish good sleep habits!!
Can't quite work out who manages to get to the 1pm things.

23 month gap here. My youngest is 1 month now. It's hard work as she's got reflux and colic so I don't have time for my eldest who is entering the terrible twos, so it's really really hard, none sleeping at night. But I don't regret it, I know in a few months years I'll have my life back and they'll be playing together.
I'll even go further, if I had know I'd go for 12 month gap. My eldest is now at a precious, funny, cutest age and I'm not sure I'll be enjoying her fully because I just want the next 12 months to go as fast as possible (because of the youngest).

I'd say it all depends of the type of baby you get but it will pay off regardless, it's hard work either way but at least they're close
Best of luck

The thing I found frustrating with baby/ toddler groups for DC3 (with a young school child and a preschool child finishing at 12) was that they start too late!

For DC3 I wanted groups to start at 9am, but those lazy buggers with their pfbs don't even get up til 9am and can't possibly have themselves and pfb out the door in under 2 hours... apparently :o :o :o (that's not meant seriously!!) But it is a bit annoying that apparently so many people can't get out of the house before 10.30am for an 11am start, when I needed to leave at 11.40am for preschool pick up!)

2nd and 3rd babies can be non sleepers too (my DC3 was the worst sleeper of mine by such an enormous margin it isn't even funny - hourly wake ups for the first 2 years of his life and paediatrician talking of melatonin as the next step when he was 2.5 - but he was sleeping through fairly often by age 3...) but would still get benefit from baby and toddler groups (as would their sahp!) but apparently baby and toddler groups are for first borns/ onlys/ those with enormous gaps.

I did suggest starting a group with a 9am start but only a few people said they'd come, so maybe its just me :o

Honestly everyone's experience will be different as it all depends on what kind of baby/child you get.

If you have laid back compliant children who sleep and eat well then any age gap is going to be manageable. If you have rebellious non sleepers or babies with reflux or similar then most age gaps will be hard but at least a bigger gap (3 yrs plus) means the older one can be in childcare some of the time.

If you can afford childcare (or can get a lot of grandparent help) for your eldest that changes things too. I have a 2.4 yr age gap, with a very difficult older child and an easy but non sleeping 7 month old. Would be a nightmare except that I have a lot of help.

There's 14 months between my 2 girls and I love it! I knew I wanted to be pregnant when I returned to work after 1st baby and I was ☺️ I made sure I didn't spoil number 1 when it came to bedtime because I knew having one that was easy to put to bed and would stay there all night would make the days so much easier! By the time number 2 was born number 1 was going to bed 7-7 and could get herself off to sleep every night, it was a dream! I like that they can both do similar things for eg go to farms, parks, soft play, then in a few years it'l be kiddie theme parks, then bigger theme parks and so on.. At every stage they should have similar interests making days out & holidays easier for us! I'm so excited for them to grow up together 😍
Obviously there's low points (very low points), but the good days outweigh the bad by far!! 💕