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Original poster

After school activities straw poll.....

26 replies

poppycomeshome · 06/10/2015 11:28

We do 2 after school activities pre week with each child plus an instrument, but I am now questioning my decision to keep them to a minimum as lots of their friends seem to be doing loads and loads per night not just weekly. Are my dc missing out? I have been careful to make time for being together, homework, quiet time, but maybe I wrong.

How many hobbies and activities do your children do?

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nancy75 · 06/10/2015 11:31

Dd does drama, singing, swimming and has a maths tutor, it is too much but she enjoys them all ( even the tutor) she is in years 6 so I am letting her do them for now but she knows she will be cutting back when she starts secondary school next year

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 06/10/2015 11:32

Dd1 does 3, dd2 does 2 and ds1 does 1 after school activity. I think it's important for them to have time during the week to play and relax after being in school.

TheColdDoesBotherMeAnyway · 06/10/2015 11:32

Both do swimming (which is non negotiable)
Dd1 (7) does brownies and ballet
Dd2 (3) does gymnastics - she's asking to do ballet too but dd1 was given the choice of either/or and I'm not sure she is disciplined enough for ballet so we're sticking to gymnastics for now!
Dd1 has asked to take up an instrument but I'm reluctant at the moment as by the end of the week she's worn out so I think it would be too much.

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Seeline · 06/10/2015 11:32

I think it depends on the child and what is right for them. My Ds did very little after school, because he didn't want to. I obviously encouraged him, and gave him the opportunity to try new things, but he just wasn't into that much. Was generally far happier at home doing his lego, drawing etc. DD on the other hand wanted to do everything. If I could fit it in time-wise and afford it, I generally let her do it.
DS is at secondary now and has joined several clubs and activities that interested him. DD still does everything Grin

Xantheticus · 06/10/2015 11:38

I've just posted about this in another thread.

DC1
2 sessions of Karate
Guitar
Wants to do drums as well

DC2
2 sessions gymnastics
Keyboard

Music/gym/karate are all on Wednesdays and Thursdays

Both also do:
Swimming lesson on Saturdays
Athletics club (only 4 months/year) on Friday nights

What are the two activities your DC do? I'm curious how everyone fits everything in. Do you try and cram all activities into a couple of days do there is a lot of free time?

OldBeanbagz · 06/10/2015 11:39

DD (13) is doing a GSCE class after school which is two evenings per week, one session of modern dance and she's learning 2 instruments. She's like to do a third but i think that might to wait until next year when she'll have done the GCSE.

DS (10) goes to athletics training 2-3 times a week plus after school football and 1 instrument.

They both have a lot of homework plus we like to do things as a family so there's not much time for any other activities.

BikeRunSki · 06/10/2015 11:48

DS(7) does Beavers on a Monday evening. This is handy because I don't work on Mondays so I get him from school after, do a bit of homework, proper meal etc before hand.

School get people in to do after school clubs. They are different every term, this term DS is doing Ukulele and Judo. These are on days I am at work and he'd be at a After School Club anyway.

On Fridays he does football.
Swimming lesson on Sat morning.
Cycling "Go Ride" skills session on Sat pm.
Bike racing some Sundays.

I think it's too much with homework and ukulele practice too, but not sure what to give up.

PacificMouse · 06/10/2015 11:54

Similar to what you do.
Tbh doing too much IS an issue when the DCs end up having no
Time to relax and are just carted around from one activity to the next.

Take you cue from your DCs. Are they tired after school or Do they need to burn off energy?
Are they enjoying it?

Racundra · 06/10/2015 11:57

I'm too embarrassed to say how many my eldest does (and we are cutting down, despite the wails and tears of protest) but by youngest is six, and does two instruments (five mins practise a day) and three physical activities/ sports per week, and I think it's spot on for him.

wankerchief · 06/10/2015 11:59

none

2 kids

A mumsnet shocker

Xantheticus · 06/10/2015 12:02

Racundra are you cutting back because of the cost or it's too exhausting?

caitlinohara · 06/10/2015 12:05

I think it depends on how old they are. ds1 is in y4 and does loads at the moment - 2 sports things at school before school on a Monday and Friday, Cubs, swimming, football and tennis after school and a drawing club at school as well. I let him do it because all the school things are free so I only pay for Cubs and swimming, BUT - I have made it very clear that if school work starts to suffer we will have to cut down on stuff. He goes to middle school next year and there won't be so many things on offer so I'm letting him make the most of it now.

ds2 is 6 and does swimming, Beavers and a couple of sports clubs at school and that's plenty for him.

I also think some parents push their kids into doing too many extra activities when the kids don't really want to do them. Swimming is non-negotiable in our house until they get to a certain level but everything else is their choice. Are your kids asking to do more OP?

Racundra · 06/10/2015 12:11

Xantheticus- purely because of exhaustion and time constraints! She has an hour of homework each night on top, and it had just got to breaking point.

lljkk · 06/10/2015 12:13

7yo: 1-2 activities.
16 & 11yo: Nothing at all unless Clash of Clans counts.
14 yo: guides + school musical rehearsals some weeks & sports clubs some weeks & violin some weeks & ...

gamerwidow · 06/10/2015 12:20

Dd (5) does rainbows and gymnastics anymore would be too much I think. Probably depends on the age of the child and how they are coping with homework and other commitments as to how much is too much.

starlight2007 · 06/10/2015 12:21

DS (8) one games club straight from school, Swimming, choir , guitar ( lunchtime) and cubs.

RiverTam · 06/10/2015 12:23

DD, 5 (Yr 1), does ballet, gymnastics and swimming. She doesn't 'do' tired Grin.

RiverTam · 06/10/2015 12:24

I should say that both this year and last (reception) she did far more than most of her classmates.

EldonAve · 06/10/2015 12:29

0-2 per child in the week. Cost and coordinating where everyone needs to be affects our choices.

dinkystinky · 06/10/2015 12:29

DS1 (9) does after school clubs at school on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (drama, animation club, Japanese club - but he wanted to do them all), cubs on a Wednesday night from 6.30 and he has karate after school on Fridays and on Mondays or Tuesdays he has a tutor once a week. Saturday is swimming and sunday is his day of rest. It is a lot with homework but he wants to do them all and we somehow make it work.

DS2 (6) does after school clubs on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday (dance, gymnastics and science club) and swimming on Saturdays - he's starting beavers this week so we'll see how it goes...

Original poster
poppycomeshome · 06/10/2015 12:40

Wankerchief, your post made me laugh out loud!!! :) At least your dc are not chronically tired lovely!

We have done tons of clubs in the past, but my dc were ruined they were so tired and cranky. I felt utterly exhausted with the running around, literally like I would drop dead from tiredness. I couldn't see the point either, realistically little Bella is unlikely to make the nutcracker any time soon, and in the end I had to cut back for mine and their sanity. I started reading gentle parenting and the stressed child, and the statistics of children suffering severe anxiety and mental instability in teen years or before, and thought that will be us in 5 years if I carry on for sure! (I felt like I was on the brink already!)

HOWEVER, I feel terrible when other parents talk about their children's clubs in a way that makes me feel slightly guilty (??) but I try to hold on to my own choices and what we value, what works for us. But it is easier said than done!!!

Everything starts to fall apart when we do too much, my dc are relaxed either way. Mostly happy to do any or none of the above. So not much help in terms of deciding!! So interesting reading through the posts, and what other posters do during the week...thank you for your replies.

OP posts:
beatofthedrum · 06/10/2015 12:48

I don't suffer from that guilt at all. My kids love time at home doing free play. I think that's great. I remember from my own childhood how awful it was to be herded about from activity to activity, I remember asking my mum when I was about 9 if I could drop them all and she laughed and was delighted! There's lots of creativity and independence fostered in free play. My 7 year old does swimming, tennis and one instrument and my 4 year old just does swimming, then sometimes a random session of something we fancy. We have loads of time to do sporty things as a family (cycling, swimming, big walks) and they socialise plenty with their friends. What is there to feel guilty about? Childhood is for enjoying, not for fitting in as many activities as possible imho.

MajesticWhine · 06/10/2015 12:49

DD in year 1 does 3: swimming, yoga and art. Only swimming is outside of school, so the yoga and art are really for my own convenience because she just stays at school for them.

My older DDs (year 9 and 11) do bugger all as far as I can gather.

BearFeet · 06/10/2015 12:55

Ds1 8 does football x 3, gymnastics x 1 and rugby x 1.

Dts 4 do gymnastics, trampolining, swimming lessons and football, all once a week.

Rivercam · 06/10/2015 12:57

We moved 80 miles when eldest Dc was about 8. In old town, most children seemed to do 2-3 things. In new town, it's not uncommon to do something every night, and you would see some children go straight from one activity to another ( always wonder how much these all cost!)

Don't feel pressurised in doing more, if you are happy with your situation. You sound like you have a good balance of activities and family time.

My boys were doing a holiday course once when we saw a competitive dad and his son. I joked to my dcs that the son would be o the course the next day as the dad wouldn't want to miss out. The next day, the boy was on the course! Ialways felt sorry for that boy who got dragged along to everything going, and probably wasn't allowed to just be.