Acceptable age for a walking to school and other things . . .

[Notimefortossers]

Just asking out of interest really. My oldest DC is 7. I forever obsess about how old she will be before I'll let her walk to school with her mates or go down the park with them etc. And how old should they be when they get their own mobile phone? I just read a thread where it was obviously common place for an 11 year old to have their own mobile, which got me thinking about it all again. This is in only 4 years for us . . . fills me with dread! I was 8 when I started walking to school with my friends, but that was back in the day and I lived 5 minutes away through the houses - no roads to cross. What's the norm?

Some children it is 11yrs when they go to secondary school, for others it is a little older. It depends on the child, how far it is to school and how many busy roads. Once your dd is older I am sure you will feel much more ready than you do now....four years is a long time.

Schools are very conservative about allowing chidren to walk to school. They seem to think that parents are incapable of making their own decisions about their children's maturity and safety. The reality is that a lot depends on your child's route to school and whether they need to cross any busy roads and how far the walk is.

My daughter's primary wants them to be in year 5 before they walk to school, but my son walked to school from year 4. Infact I let him to walk to his friends house from year 3. I feel its a real pity that the school objected so strongly to children walking to school on their own at eight years old.

Its nanny state gone mad.

My 8 year old (year 4) has been walking to school herself for a year now, we're only 3 houses down from the school though, I'd still be taking her if we lived further away. Since she started year 4 in September the teachers will now let her walk home from school alone too.

I got my elder dd a mobile phone this summer for her 11th birthday as she was starting secondary school. She walks there and back herself which is a 10 minute walk (when her friend's mum doesn't give them a lift anyway).

DS is in yr 5 and is walking to and from school by himself - one busy road to cross, but only a 5 minute scoot.
He can't go to the park on his own though, but I meet him there on a Friday so he feels like he's gone there with his mates by himself

My daughter is in Yr 2 at the moment and in the infant school the teacher collects them from and brings them to the door one by one and doesn't let them leave until they see they parent, but in the Junior school they just open the door and let them go! They're still only 7 when they start Yr 3! I think it's too young. So given this, I don't think they'd know whether kids were brought in or had brought themselves.

My daughter is very sensible and mature for her age though so I think from next year I would trust her to walk round to her sisters classroom (who will be in Yr 1 then) and meet us there.

I'd say a good proportion of DC here make their own way to school from Y5 (and hence tend to get a phone at that age- albeit often a basic one). By Y6 it's pretty much everyone that can practically do it.

But I think it does vary. Was talking to SIL about DS starting Y7 and she said something along the lines of him going to school by himself and getting a phone - she was totally amazed when I said he'd done one and had the other for 2 years - in her "circles" this was freedom for secondary school.

I guess it just depends on your individual situation - I dread making the decision!

Ours where year 5 9/10 when allowed to walk to school.

And 13 for mobile phones. Both the last in the year to get them. And they pay their own bills.

I think I'm comfortable with the secondary school thing remembering how I was at that age, but I don't want her to be THAT kid who's mum won't let her do what the others do

Ha! I'm feeling the paying their own bills rule gingerdad!

My DS1 started walking to and from school when he was 9. He's getting a mobile phone for his 11th birthday (a few weeks away).

I've just started letting my almost 8 year old go to the park with his big brother. Only been a few days but it's nerve wracking so far. He seems so little, though I was roaming free at his age.

We're quite far from the school so I left everything til secondary with few problems adapting. Don't worry about what others are doing as they are all different but it's fine to use others as a guide if it helps

Obviously all children are different and volume of traffic etc vary so it is a very personal decision but for my DC I felt that around age 10 is the earliest they they and I felt comfortable with

Your child will change a lot between now and the end of primary. I always feel like the year 5s and 6s feel a lot more grownup that the year 3s and 4s.

Our junior school has the same policy of just letting them out but the children all know that if they are expecting to be collected and their adult isn't there then they must go back into school and tell their teacher or another adult.

Where we used to live most children walked to school themselves in Year 6 and some in Year 5. I think it partly depends on distance, the route, walking companions. Where we live now everyone walks to school from the start of year 5.

DS started walking to school on his own from year 5, got a (basic) mobile for his 10th birthday. He's just started secondary and the school is a 20 minute walk to bus stop, 5 mile bus journey, and then another decent walk at the other end. He's fine, very mature and sensible.

I know it seems impossible now, but it's amazing how much they mature in a few years. You'll look back and wonder what you were so worried about.

She's still my baby :( I'm a dick

My ds walked from the start of y3 with his y5 sister, less than a kilometre and one road with a crossing. They started popping to the sweet shop at the about the same age. We live in a very nice area. Ds was delighted to be allowed out with out a grown up and enjoyed being ahead of peers with this. Now he is y5 sister at big school so walks or runs by himself.

I wouldn't let mine walk to primary school because there's there's a ridiculous busy road to cross with no safe crossings despite various complaints and accidents

I let my Y4 child walk alone. But we are 2 minutes away, no roads to cross and 5 minutes after I walk through the school playground to take my youngest to the infant school.

I have also started to let them (age 8 and 6) to go to the park alone. Only 1 minute away, no roads and I follow on 5 minutes later. They are relishing the extra independence.

How do people gauge whether their kids are ready to cross roads alone? Ds is 7 and fairly sensible, but to get to the park means crossing 4 roads plus a main road with a crossing, and he's hardly taller than a car's bonnet! To get to school would be half a dozen roads where cars swing on/off a main road, even if he took the route without the two nasty T-junctions.

If it wasn't for traffic he'd probably be fine going to school already - just follow stream of other kids in his uniform. School policy is Y5 and 6 can leave alone with permission, but they don't care how kids get there as long as they do.

I couldn't have imagined dc1 doing this when he was 7 either OP. Now at 11, it feels OK (although the first few times were a bit nerve wracking!)

I think it's perfectly understandable to worry about a seven year old's ability to cross a busy road. The problem is that children do not develop road sense until they actually start to cross roads on their own. In the past the peak age for children being killed on the roads was seven and now it's eleven when children start to walk to school for the first time. Parents walk less with their children than the past so there is less opportunity for modelling how to cross a road to younger children.

I was chatting yesterday to a teacher at a local secondary school. She was saying that she had parents attempting to come on site with their year 7 darlings. Some parents really struggle to cut the apron strings. Sometimes smothering OLDER children in cotton wool harms their development. I feel that schools should push to get older primary school children to walk to school where possible. (Ie. Year 5, year 6 not seven year olds)

I'm having the same dilemma OP. I have started letting DS (8) take control crossing roads when we are out and about now, so that hopefully he will be able to do it on his own soon. I have found as time goes on I am more comfortable with letting him have little bits of freedom, so I'm hoping that at some point it will just feel right, for me and him, to let him walk to school etc. It is still terrifying though.

My dd is year 5 and I am not happy for her to walk to school yet, its about a 10 minute walk across 2 busy roads. I think if she were walking to and from school by herself I would want her to have a phone so she can text me when she gets home/ to school. I don't really want her to get a phone before she is 11yo so I go round in circles with this one

I can tell you how it works round here.

For most children walking to school alone starts at the beginning of Y5 (boys) and secondary school (girls).

Mobile phones start from Y3 onwards (girls) and Y5/6 (boys) but with most children of either gender from Y6.