Acceptable age for a walking to school and other things . . .

[Notimefortossers]

Just asking out of interest really. My oldest DC is 7. I forever obsess about how old she will be before I'll let her walk to school with her mates or go down the park with them etc. And how old should they be when they get their own mobile phone? I just read a thread where it was obviously common place for an 11 year old to have their own mobile, which got me thinking about it all again. This is in only 4 years for us . . . fills me with dread! I was 8 when I started walking to school with my friends, but that was back in the day and I lived 5 minutes away through the houses - no roads to cross. What's the norm?

I'd let my almost 8 year old and 10 year old walk to school if I didn't have to drive anyway. I have a 4 year old at the school as well. I have in the past dropped them a bit away and they've walked the rest of the way.
My 10 year old has a phone, goes to the shop alone, meets her friends in the shopping centre, walks to their houses, has went to the cinema with a friend.

That's interesting! Why do you think the different ages for boys and girls Barbarian?

"Mobile phones start from Y3 onwards (girls) and Y5/6 (boys) but with most children of either gender from Y6."

Prehaps parents are more protective of their little girls and believe that there is less chance of their little boys being raped and murdered. The reality is that little boys are just as much risk as little girls from paedophiles.

(Just guessing..) Maybe more little girls pester for a mobile phone than little boys. Quite why a year 3 girl needs a mobile is beyond me.

My DD is 9 yrs old, in year 5, and I have just started letting her walk to school by herself but its only 5 minutes and one road to cross. She also comes back by herself if she has a club. She is very excited to have the freedom.

I am not trusting her with a mobile phone yet because she is terrible for losing things!

It isn't really up to you, OP. Social Services will tell you in writing not to let them ever be alone if they are under 11. Obviously this dictat only happens if you get reported, but you only need one horrible person in your life to stick their oar in.

Dd1 is in year 4. I let her walk to brownies alone (at the end of our road) but not to school as I'm not convinced she will check the roads properly before crossing. I will probably let her towards the end of year 5. She already knows she will be getting a mobile for her 11th birthday as she will be getting the bus to high school alone.

"It isn't really up to you, OP. Social Services will tell you in writing not to let them ever be alone if they are under 11. Obviously this dictat only happens if you get reported, but you only need one horrible person in your life to stick their oar in."

lljkk Where do you get your information from. How do you know? It is perfectly legal to allow children to go outside by themselves? Infact it is healthy.

What do you think that social services would do if you allowed your year 5 child to walk to school on her own. It not illegal and plenty of schools let year 5 children out of the grounds if they have a letter from their parents saying that they have permission to walk home by themselves.

Social services are not going to give a monkeys about a year 5 child walking to school by themselves even if a busybody does report it. They have a very high threshold for real child abuse. I hope that social services would react if a five year old was expected to walk to school by themselves.

www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/only-25-per-cent-of-children-walk-to-school-alone-compared-to-86-per-cent-in-1971-what-went-wrong-8452266.html

German children mostly walk to school by themselves. It would be interesting to compare the number of children killed in road accidents in Germany with the UK.

My 11 year old ( so just started sec school) started walking to school with friends in year 5. It's a nice school walk, he had to cross a single lane of traffic ( as there's a priority island) in front of our house then the only other road he crosses ( or even walks near) has a lollipop lady. He's a sensible boy, it was just short of a mile walk, also I would be not far behind walking his little brother to school so I'd often see him en route.

He had a very basic PAYG phone from when he started playing out ( around 9) however he rarely used it.

He got his first proper contract phone back in June, predominantly as I wanted to know that he will always be able to contact me ( a PAYG he could run out of credit) as he has a 15 mile bus journey to and from school.

We are in Germany. DS just started at school, and has just turned seven. Some children in his class are still five, though. They have given us a map of the local area with all pedestrian and cyclist accidents marked on it, instructions as to how to choose a suitable route, all schoolbags manufactured to the national standard have large reflective panels and they distributed reflective vests to the children.

At the end of the day they just let the kids out, tell them to wait inside the school grounds but nobody checks. DS often walks down the road to find me if I am late. And if we are late in the morning I get him across the tram road and then he runs alone.

It is different. I do think that seven year olds are generally capable of walking alone or in small groups to school, but the difference is that here, everybody goes to the local school which is in easy reach. The roads in town are not fast or busy. There are sometimes trams but they are noisy and not constant. Children know to wait before or after a tram to cross. Adults, seeing children unaccompanied will generally keep half an eye and occasionally pull an overambitious child back from the road, they aren't fussed about accusations, they were helping. Drivers near schools know to expect unaccompanied children.

It is not the same situation and shouldn't be compared.

I think that the german situation shows that children don't melt if they walk to school before the age of eleven. Certainly Germany is a developed country and I am sure that parts of Germany has traffic to rival the UK. Most UK children attend local schools. My daughter's school is 300 metres away from home which I am sure is comparable with most German children. A lot of dangerous traffic is mothers (mostly) dropping their children off at school and parking really badly. We are in a vicous circle with lots of unnecessary traffic making walking to school dangerous.

I think its would be a good idea if school bags in the UK had a reflective panel. (Or even shock horror school uniform.) Most secondary school uniform is dark and makes it hard to see the child at night.

I think it all depends on individual circumstances, DD1 has been walking to school herself since 7 and has recently started going to the local shop and bakers herself (she's 9 now) but they are very close and I can watch her walk down and cross the road. She is very sensible and knows there is a huge amount if trust put in her. On the other hand, DD2 who is 6 is a different kettle of fish and I think I will be a bit more reluctant to let her go herself when the time comes.

ReallyTired ds choosing a brightly coloured anorak and bag was part of the deal with him walking to school with friends. Last year I got him the black coat/bag the school asked for and he was virtually invisible as it got dark.

Notime I'm not sure (I only have boys) but it is a very clear difference. I do think the perception is that girls are more vulnerable and likely to be targetted. And there is a pervasive idea throughout society that it is not really safe for girls/women to be out after dark.

As for the mobile phone thing, the girls use them to text each other apparently. With boys, they want them more to play games and most parents of boys I know (including me) are trying to cut down on gaming time, not increase it.

ReallyTired - I agree, the worst drivers on the roads around the school are the parents - usually running late, driving too fast, parking on zigzags/double yellows/on the pedestrian crossing/in front of the school fire gate (because they are only there for a minute so it doesn't matter, right?) drop the kid off, reverse without care who is behind, speed off. The school puts endless notes in the newsletters about it. As you say its a vicious circle because it then puts people off letting their kids walk to school.

Our school does give out book bags with reflective strips, but they only lasted a year or two before they fell apart so I've now had to buy DD her own bag. Reading this its given me the idea to buy some reflective strips to stick onto it.

I've seen boys coats with reflective bits but so not often on girls coats.

Secondary. Take them to primary.

depends on the child and the roads
my DD is 8 and can do short journeys, quiet roads with good visibility, and roads with crossings. I let her pop to the shop (one small road) and post box (main road but pelican crossing). School run is more complicated however - there's a wide road with a blind bend and no crossing. Plenty of the teenagers at the high school have near misses there on a regular basis.

I know you can have a road accident on any road, but I do still think this is a factor to consider.

I'd let her walk the 10 minutes after the tricky road though, although she prefers to walk with me and her reception aged sister.

I'm one of those who walked to Kindergarten aged 5, across a main road, and lived to tell the tale. And there is no way I would let my 5 year old out of my sight (in the UK) .

I consider my Yr4 dc perfectly capable to walk to school and back but the school will not allow this and insists on personal hand over between teacher and adult known to them. It does make me wonder when children are supposed to develop road sense- it doesn't happen overnight the day they start secondary.

Agree with pp that school uniform is often very dark. Ours is dark blue and more dark blue with almost black school bags. Even hair bands have to be dark blue.

My two have these to go over their school rucksacks when it rains (because - gasp- we walk to school rather than drive). Always raises a laugh

I haven't been to all parts of Germany obviously :) But it definitely seems in the part we live in that there are town parts and out of town parts and the roads within town are quieter and slower. I think because it's more spread out - but I don't know.

I did say I agree that 7 year olds are (mostly) capable of walking to school :) It's more that here, I think the expectation is already there with the drivers and other adults around school areas, which it isn't as much in the UK. The traffic is pretty bad around school with parents dropping off their DC but people don't seem to park badly and you do get an occasional annoyed late driver getting frustrated but not very often.

If you look in outdoor type shops, you'll find hiking style coats which will have reflective panels, in girly as well as boy colours. Probably not teenager friendly but for primary school.

e.g. This was a girls' coat but I bought it for DS from Mountain Warehouse.

Ds both ways at 6, but very close by. It was a little earlier than I was comfortable with for him to come home, but on balance it was right for dh and ds(dh a sahd). Luckily the school took the view that it was up to parents. One problem in 5 years, not serious. Mobile at 11, just before secondary.

But out setup won't be the same as yours. Wait until the idea doesn't seem so alien - it will happen in its own time for the vast majority.

Also in Germany - in our area every child walks or takes the bus (if they live more than 1.5 km away) to school - and bus kids walk to the nearest bus stop obviously - from their 2nd day at school. a few parents walk with them for the first week, but that's pretty embarrassing for them :o The very youngest kids are a week or two off turning 6 (that was DD) and the oldest new school starters are 7.

It is considered positively humiliating to be walked to school after your first week, and positively antisocial, self centred and dangerous to drive your child to school or pick them up in a car regularly (though acceptable very occasionally if they overslept or you have an apt straight after school :o ) because more than the odd few parents driving their children to school and trying to park/ drop off outside make it so more dangerous for children walking.

But as Bertie says the infrastructure is there (it is also socially unacceptable to duck out of your duty to do school crossing patrol on a voluntary basis once a week or once a fortnight to cover the main road outside school unless you have a good reason - which of course a lot of people do... full time job or full time responsibility for child under 3... but its a small community and everybody is nosey about who isn't pulling their weight and why!)

Yep the clothing glows and so do the school bags (even the "cooler" less obviously school bag rucksacks used by secondary school children have more subtle reflectors - boys and girls, no difference there.

We have middle schools here and so most dc start walking to school in Year 5. DD was fine with this. DS next year? Not so sure! It depends on the child, the circumstances, the roads...

read the post but no time to read the replies sorry.
A Walking Bus is a very good answer to this issue, and should be promoted by almost all schools (but I bet most of them have never heard of it).

www.walkbiketoschool.org/keep-going/pedestrian-safety
www.walkingschoolbus.org/
www.foe.co.uk/faqs/what-walking-bus

And as far as the whole "getting kidnapped by a child molester" goes, my approach to this will be to educate my children from a very young age about the dangers (no doubt using advice from Kidscape, NSPCC, Childline etc), but to be realistic about stranger danger as opposed to non-stranger danger (this is how the vast majority of abuse happens) and not to curtail their freedom too much as a result.